Through the looking-glass

Two more storylines from the next series of Doctor Who have emerged from the show’s producer and chief writer Steven Moffat. He says, in episode two, The Doctor will take on pre-historic creatures in a story called Dinosaurs On A Spaceship! I had to suppress a snigger when I heard the title. It does sound a tad silly and more than a little preposterous until you remember Voyage Of The Damned and its spaceship, Titanic, almost crashing into Buckingham Palace! First thoughts are the episode is endeavouring to capitalise on the popularity of Primeval, but I remind myself that the current, probably final, series of the ITV1 dinosaur saga, while visually spectacular, is no more than a reworking of the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who story Invasion Of The Dinosaurs. The new dinosaur escapade is written by Chris Chibnall and features Being Human’s Mark Williams as Rory’s dad, Brian, and Rupert Graves from Sherlock.

Episode three is a western-themed adventure, written by Toby Whithouse and filmed on location in Spain, entitled A Town Called Mercy. It co-stars Adrian Scarborough and Ben Browder. Any mention of the Last Chance Saloon immediately conjures up images of William Hartnell’s legendary encounter at the O K Corral with Wyatt Earp and Johnny Ringo in mid-Sixties’ four-parter The Gunfighters, which not only gave The Doctor toothache but many fans as well! The new storylines are both directed by Saul Metzstein and follow the first episode of the new series in which The Doctor will be reunited with his oldest enemies in Asylum Of The Daleks. The first five episodes of Series Seven will air later this year, followed by the Christmas Special, with the remaining eight to follow in the New Year.

Meanwhile, Scots actress Karen Gillan has won the lead in a film about a haunted mirror, according to the Radio Times. Gillan, from Inverness, leaves her role as Doctor Who companion Amy Pond in episode five of Series Seven, and not in the Christmas Special as I previously suggested might be the case. In new US horror film, Oculus, she will play Kaylie whose brother is convicted of murdering their parents. Kaylie believes an antique looking-glass was responsible. It’s not the first time one of The Doctor’s companions has worked on a horror movie. Shortly before starting work on Doctor Who, Billie Piper played Jenny in Spirit Trap, alongside Russian pop star Alsou. It was released in August 2005 to generally poor reviews. After being returned to her own time and space in the classic series, Wendy Padbury appeared in Piers Haggard’s excellent cult 1971 British horror film Blood On Satan’s Claw as the unfortunate Cathy Vespers. And we shouldn’t forget Lalla Ward who began her acting career as Helga in the hypnotically stylish 1972 Hammer Horror film Vampire Circus.

Taking care of Carey

Five years ago, many red-blooded Doctor Who fans were clamouring for actress Carey Mulligan to become the Doctor’s next companion after she almost single-handedly carried the episode Blink. It was not to be. Freema Agyeman was replaced by Catherine Tate and Carey’s character, Sally Sparrow, became but a birdcall in the garden of fond memories! Miss Mulligan has, of course, gone on to bigger things, though not necessarily greater. It’s unlikely we’ll ever see her back in Doctor Who, even though its current show-runner, Steven Moffat, created her character in a short story for an annual before embellishing it into a full-blown television episode.

I first noticed Carey in 2005, two years before her appearance in Series Three of Doctor Who, when she took on the role of Ada Clare, one of the wards in the court case of Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce, in Andrew Davies’ excellent BBC adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Bleak House. I thought her extraordinarily pretty but predicted Anna Maxwell Martin, who played another of the wards, Esther Summerson, would go on to be the more successful of the two female leads. I was wrong, possibly. Their stories aren’t over yet and it depends how you define success. Anna’s worked solidly in this country while Carey has tried her hand at working in Hollywood. America suits some better than others. It may mean bigger bucks but the jobs aren’t necessarily as satisfying.

Carey Mulligan’s portrayal of the gifted-but-emotionally-impressionable Jenny, in the BBC-funded An Education, was the breakthrough role which brought her to the attention of American producers such as Oliver Stone. It wasn’t long before she found herself starring opposite Michael Douglas, playing his daughter of all things, in the Wall Street sequel Money Never Sleeps. I know the tagline of the original was “greed is good” but surely Catherine Zeta Jones must be handful enough?! The image above shows Carey on the set of neo-noir road movie Drive, wearing shades - I suspect - not to look cool but to hide tired eyes from the glare of paparazzi! Should you want to see her naked, and I know you all hanker after nothing else, look no further than Steve McQueen’s tale of sex-addiction, Shame, in which she plays Michael Fassbender’s saucy sister Sissy. To be fair, there’s much more to this psychological drama than Mulligan’s mammaries, as gratifying as it may be to finally catch a glimpse!

If you can’t get enough of her loving (and who can?), Carey Hannah can also be seen, brassiere intact, opposite the likes of Jim Broadbent and Colin Firth in And When Did You Last See Your Father?; as Kitty Bennet in the film version of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, alongside Keira Knightley, Brenda Blethyn and Donald Sutherland; and in an ITV1 adaptation of Northanger Abbey as Isabella Thorpe. To bring her story smack-bang up to date, she has just finished working with Titanic heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio and Romeo + Juliet director Baz Luhrmann on a remake of The Great Gatsby, due out on Christmas Day, playing the role Mia Farrow brought to life in the 1974 film version of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, the superficial Daisy Buchanan. Give me your answer, do!

New TARDIS totty revealed

Former Emmerdale actress Jenna-Louise Coleman has landed the role of the Time Lord’s new companion in Doctor Who, the BBC has confirmed.

Producer Steven Moffat announced the actress will replace Karen Gillan’s character Amy Pond when she leaves the show in the next series.

Coleman, 25, has also appeared in Waterloo Road (above) and is about to be seen in Julian Fellowes’ four part mini-series Titanic.

Jenna-Louise said, “I am beyond excited. I can’t wait to get cracking.”

I think it would be healthier for Doctor Who if Ms Coleman was on board from the start. Fresh blood is always good for the series and the sooner the better…

The Amy/River storyline has run its course. It made the last series drag and spoilt some otherwise interesting episodes. I’m tired of hearing the Doctor being called “Sweetie” and sick of the repetition of the oh-so-internet savvy “spoilers”. However, these tedious expressions are to be given yet another airing. More imagination is required.

I suspect Amy will go on Christmas Day, midway through the Seventh series, in yet another emotional tearjerker! The relief of not having to listen to actress Karen Gillan preface almost every other sentence with “I have to say” anymore, on Doctor Who Confidential, will be a most welcome present!!

Doll parts

He’s shagged Susan Lynch, stolen a bus (causing pensioners to miss their regular game of bingo!), blown up a house (using its central heating system!!) at precisely 6pm and much, much worse in Cracker… attempted to blow up a London railway terminus, as a terrorist in Spooks… mutinied, then had his back flayed for his trouble, in Hornblower… and, if all that wasn’t enough, he wasn’t a particularly pleasant character in Survivors either… but Andrew Tiernan never short changes the viewer. Andy, as he was credited in this week’s episode of Doctor Who, always turns in a bloody good performance. He played the landlord of a rundown block of flats in Bristol, demanding rent money with the menacing aid of his bruiser-of-a-dog, Bernard! Andy had many of the story’s best lines and moments, bemoaning there was nothing to watch on television except thirty-year-old repeats of Bergerac. Lord knows why he was tuned into Yesterday if he was after the boxing! He brilliantly got sucked into his mangy old carpet much to the total disinterest of his pet but, best of all, was his transformation into one of the demon dolls! Possibly the finest use of special effects since Richard Wilson grew a gasmask in the first series.

Then there was Daniel Mays, whose career continues to be in the ascendancy. ITV3 have been running the 2007 movie Atonement, in which he co-stars with James McAvoy, a romantic drama where a man is accused of a rape he didn’t commit. More recently, Daniel attempted to sort out Gene Hunt’s nick, not the easiest task you can imagine, in the third-and-final series of Ashes To Ashes before being banished to the outer reaches of the solar system in Survivors-style drama Outcasts. In Doctor Who he played Alex, father to a little boy, George, unsure how to connect with his son’s phobia of the dark - when all the scary things come out to play. Boy George turned out not only to be adopted but also alien, living his life in fear of rejection. The coming together of father and child, at the story’s climax, was a pure Railway Children moment, and all the more moving for that! If you’re going to “borrow” then do it from the best!!

And the man who wrote Night Terrors, which may well turn out to be this year’s finest episode of Doctor Who… well, all his previous scripts have been set in the past whereas his latest is set in the present day. He tackled Dickens in The Unquiet Dead, when the novelist was in the last year of his life and about to embark on The Mystery Of Edwin Drood, while Christopher Eccleston was The Doctor… bullying in The Idiot’s Lantern, set during the Queen’s Coronation in 1953, was his next choice of subject after David Tennant had taken over the role… and, after a few years away from writing for Doctor Who, he returned to the fold, last year, to pen Victory Of The Daleks, in which the pepper pots from Skaro were outgunned by Matt Smith, with a great deal of help from the forces and spitfires assembled by a certain PM Winston Churchill. I’m talking about Mark Gatiss, author of all three, whose latest (fourth) instalment of everyone’s favourite science fiction series also included the death of a dear, little old lady by multiple black bin bags! Maybe it was because she looked like Patricia Hayes whilst sounding like Frank Spencer?! When Steven Moffat relinquishes his post as show runner, and assuming he wants the responsibility of the top job, surely Mark is his natural successor.

Breaking the silence

I haven’t written about Doctor Who in this Journal for three months. I’ve not even mentioned the programme in passing! Give the man a medal!! With the second half of Series Six fast approaching, it’s perhaps time to take a little look at the present state of affairs. I wasn’t happy with the cliff-hangers of the last two episodes. Why? After a terrific and traditional two-part story in which The Doctor advocated living in harmony alongside our Doppelgänger cousins, just as he’d done in Doctor Who And The Silurians in 1970, he whipped out his sonic screwdriver and reduced Amy to sludge. The Time Lord had suspected that, for the last half-dozen episodes, his long-standing companion was a double, constantly checking to see whether or not the TARDIS registered her as pregnant. But, why couldn’t he practice what he’d been preaching… tolerance. Why couldn’t Doppelgänger Amy exist together with her flesh and blood counterpart? The audience was fobbed off with some lame excuse about transmitting signals. Confine her where this couldn’t happen would’ve been a more sensible solution but nowhere near as melodramatic as the shock value of seeing The Doctor seemingly bumping off his friend. Writer Matthew Graham, co-creator of Life On Mars and Ashes To Ashes, was asked to add this ending by show runner Steven Moffat to lead into the mid-season finale but, for me, only succeeded in spoiling The Rebel Flesh and The Almost People.

And so to the cliff-hanger of Episode Seven, A Good Man Goes To War, in which we learn the real identity of River Song. She’s none other than Amy’s long-lost daughter, Melody Pond. Doctor Who had been building up to this revelation for some time. Ever since River was introduced in 2008, in Steven Moffat’s two-part story Silence In The Library and Forest Of The Dead, the writer has been teasing us as to her true persona. The resolution is a bit of a cheat, in all honesty, as Amy had yet to be introduced to Doctor Who at the time of her offspring’s inception in the series. Karen’s character was still two years away. It needed to be something that was already in the many and varied worlds of Doctor Who for an audience to be truly taken by surprise. Something connected to The Doctor himself would’ve been best, where it doesn’t matter that Matt’s Doctor was also two years away when River was inaugurated because, central to the concept, the Eleventh Doctor is the same character as the Tenth. Maybe the familial connection, now established as mother and daughter, is a red herring to throw the audience off the scent of a much greater surprise, yet to come over the next six episodes. I hope so because, as it stands, the big mid-season denouement was nothing short of pure soap opera, which wouldn’t have been out of place as the climax to an episode of EastEnders! I wonder when I’ll write about modern day Doctor Who again? Soon, all being well!

Warden’s Watch Special: Highlights of the Year

It hasn’t been a particularly memorable year for those of us interested in brilliantly-crafted television drama. The fifth series of new “Doctor Who” was disappointing but my expectations weren’t that high to begin with. I worried that, under Steven Moffat, the stories would become increasingly esoteric and my fears proved well-founded. One of the problems is that, creatively, the most-successful stories written by both the new Executive Producer and Mark Gatiss were the ones they wrote back in 2005 for Christopher Eccleston! It’s a bit like Ben Aaronovitch trying to top “Remembrance of the Daleks”, in the late Eighties, and coming up with the vastly-inferior “Battlefield”, itself a reworking of one of his earlier scripts. The irony is that the finest story of the year to feature the new, eleventh, Doctor, played brilliantly by Matt Smith, was one of “The Sarah Jane Adventures”! And, to compound the irony, “Death of the Doctor” was the one written by Russell!! It almost made me feel sorry he’s gone and I’m sure that that was his intention. This third story in the fourth series of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” was equalled, if not bettered, two stories later by Rupert Laight’s “Lost in Time”, a two-episode reworking of an entire twenty-six episode (“The Key to Time”) season of classic “Doctor Who”. With segments reminiscent of “Ghost Light” and “The Curse of Fenric”, and another nodding to the Hartnell historicals, the story gently acknowledged the 47th anniversary of “Doctor Who” with the dateline of the newspaper cutting which the three adventurers had initially set out to investigate.

Aside from stories set in space and time, another mainstay of 2010 has been the continuing dreamlike-investigations of American “Medium” Allison DuBois. Freeview viewers have got as far as Season Five while, if you subscribe to satellite, then you’re enjoying Season Six and, for the more impatient among us, Season Seven episodes have been materialising on the internet from the early hours of Saturday mornings for the ten weeks up to the beginning of December with the remaining six scheduled to resume in the New Year! It’s a miracle the show is still with us, having been picked up by CBS after cancellation, while other series, such as “Heroes”, have fallen by the wayside. Back in the UK, we were treated to the second, and sadly final, series of “Survivors” which I believe to be a more successful reworking of an old hit than the reincarnation and enduring saga of everyone’s favourite Time Lord. Why the BBC have picked up ITV’s “Primeval” and dumped their own is beyond me! I wasn’t as enamoured by Season Six of “Hustle”, at the beginning of the year, as I was Season Five in 2009, despite guest appearances by Brian Murphy, Colin Baker and Danny Webb. Last year it was given a new lease of life with the introduction of two new regular characters, as well as the return of a familiar face, so, by this year, the con seemed to have settled back into a familiar routine once again. On the other hand, “Spooks” has benefited from the introduction of new characters! Still not as good as when Rupert Penry-Jones led the cast, Season Nine was a distinct improvement over recent years. “Luther” was this year’s detective success story, although I’m sure there are those who preferred Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’s modernisation of “Sherlock”, but it doesn’t look as though the BBC know where to take Idris Elba’s character next as there isn’t to be a second series as such, just a couple of one-hour specials! Bizarre or what?!

The real triumphs of the year came in the form of selected repeats. I’m not talking about the endless rotation of “Inspector Morse”, “Poirot”, “A Touch of Frost” and “Foyle’s War”, for the older generation on ITV3, or the constant repetition of “The Sweeney”, “The Professionals”, “Minder” and “The Prisoner”, for real men on ITV4, as good as all these series undoubtedly are, but a couple of gems that have surfaced on Yesterday. First was a rerun of the six-part Dennis Potter serial “Lipstick on Your Collar”, originally a Channel Four conclusion to the musical trilogy begun and continued on the BBC with “Pennies from Heaven” and “The Singing Detective” but much-underrated in their shadow! Secondly, and unquestionably one of the ten best series ever to come out of Britain, the two seasons of “Colditz” have recently enjoyed a long-overdue re-screening. The first season is the most consistent, especially when dealing with the psychological aspects of imprisonment rather than boy’s own heroics, while the second suffered a smidgen after the “escape” of Edward Hardwicke’s Pat Reid though his replacement, a new character in the German ranks played with thorough viciousness by Anthony Valentine, aids the drama in delving into the infighting of Nazi politics of the time. There’s no incidental music to tell you what to think or how to feel just bloody good writing, acting and directing from the likes of “Doctor Who” stalwarts Michael Ferguson and Terence Dudley. They just don’t make thought-provoking series like “Colditz” anymore.

Telly Visions: Sophia Myles

When the BBC run a themed evening, the schedule often includes no more than two programmes related to the chosen subject! So, with this criterion in mind, Monday night is Sophia Myles night!! First of all, you can see her on BBC Three at 7:45pm, straight after “Merlin”, in yet another repeat showing of an early David Tennant episode of “Doctor Who”, “The Girl in the Fireplace”. The story, as you probably all know, is written by Steven Moffat, currently trying to sell the next season of “Doctor Who” to fans in two halves of seven episodes from Easter with the remaining six to air in the Autumn, and stars Sophia, rather elegantly, in the title role of Madame De Pompadour. I think she fits neatly into the Kate Winslet mould of actresses, which isn’t intended as a criticism but a compliment. There probably isn’t a better example to showcase what she does best, than this episode, although I do think the story itself is a little overrated. Maybe her role as Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward, in Jonathan Frakes’s awful live-action version of Gerry Anderson’s “Thunderbirds”, is another fine example of Ms Myles playing posh totty!

We’ve seen Sophia on our screens all too occasionally over recent years. She was in a reasonably memorable version of “Dracula”, broadcast later in the same year as her “Doctor Who” episode during the Christmas season of 2006. Marc Warren played the Count with Sophia Myles one of his conquests, Lucy. Her innocent friend, Mina, was portrayed by Stephanie Leonidas. Timothy Spall’s son, Rafe, brought solicitor Jonathan Harker to life, so to speak! He travels to Transylvania to sell Dracula a London property but never returns hence the arrival of “Poirot” actor David Suchet as archrival Abraham Van Helsing. This one-off special possibly helped secure Sophia a leading role in the short-lived Stateside vampire-show “Moonlight”. At least it ran for a full season! Michelle Ryan wasn’t as lucky with “Bionic Woman” while Tennant’s legal eagle comedy didn’t progress beyond pilot stage. Anyway, the lovely lady in question has returned to Blighty and can be seen afresh as agent Beth, alongside Peter Firth as Section D boss Harry Pearce, avenging the death of Ros Myers, together with Richard Armitage as Lucas, in the opening episode of Series Nine of “Spooks”, on BBC One at 9pm, the second of her two appearances this coming Monday evening.

If U Seek Amy

If you’ve been suffering from withdrawal symptoms since Series Five of “Doctor Who” finished just over a month go… if you didn’t get around to setting your VCR to record all the episodes on original transmission… if you haven’t purchased either of the currently available DVD vanilla releases or downloaded every episode in AVI format… then help is at hand…

BBC Three takes you right back to the beginning of the Matt Smith/Steven Moffat era of “Doctor Who” this coming Friday with “The Eleventh Hour”, continuing next Tuesday and Wednesday with the second and third episodes, “The Beast Below” and “Victory of the Daleks”. This is your first chance to see it all again, from the top, since “The Big Bang” drew to its strange-but-majestic conclusion at the end of June.

You’ll be able to wonder, like you did originally, just why the Eleventh Doctor believed Amy Pond to be a real WPC when she was wearing such non-regulatory uniform! And, dramatically, why did Karen Gillan have to slip into that impossibly-tight short skirt anyway? Viewing figures?!! I constantly keep abreast of them! So settle down with another plate of frozen fish fingers and custard… and enjoy!

In Time

Production started at the beginning of the week (Monday 12th July) on the 2010 “Doctor Who” BBC One Christmas Special in which the thrilling adventures of the Eleventh Doctor (Matt Smith) and newlyweds Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) and Rory Williams (Arthur Darvill) will continue in a fun-filled and heartfelt festive story.

In the grand tradition of “Doctor Who” Christmas specials, this year the show has once again attracted stellar guest stars as veteran actor Michael Gambon (“The Singing Detective”, “Cranford”) and mezzo-soprano Katherine Jenkins, in her first acting role, join the Time Lord for what might be his most Christmassy adventure yet!

Arriving on set for her first day of filming, Katherine Jenkins said, “I’m over the moon to be involved in the “Doctor Who” Christmas Special - I can’t quite believe it as it’s a part of the family tradition at the Jenkins household. I heard the news that I got the role on my 30th birthday and it was the best birthday present ever!”

About the story, lead writer and executive producer, Steven Moffat, commented, “Oh, we’re going for broke with this one. It’s all your favourite Christmas movies at once, in an hour, with monsters and the Doctor and a honeymoon and - oh, you’ll see. I’ve honestly never been so excited about writing anything. I was laughing madly as I typed along to Christmas songs in April. My neighbours loved it so much they all moved away and set up a website demanding my execution. But I’m fairly sure they did it ironically.”

Ben Stephenson, Controller, BBC Drama Commissioning, said, “Matt Smith and Karen Gillan captivated audiences in their debut series and the “Doctor Who” festive episode’s clever twist on the much loved “A Christmas Carol” will thrill BBC One viewers this year with special guest stars Sir Michael Gambon and singing sensation Katherine Jenkins joining Amy and the Doctor for an unforgettable present!”

Filming on this year’s “Doctor Who” Christmas Special continues until August.

Telly Visions Special: Michelle Ryan

This is an extra post for fans of Michelle Ryan mainly to let you know she will be appearing on BBC Two this Sunday morning, at 10am, as a guest on “Something for the Weekend”. Not quite sure what she’s there to promote but I’ve heard she may be returning to “EastEnders”. You’ll probably have to put up with Tim Lovejoy’s endless waffle on football but you can always leave the programme on in the background until the lovely Michelle’s appearance!

You’ve probably realised by now - my new blog-header kinda gives it away - that I enjoyed last year’s “Doctor Who” Easter Special, “Planet of the Dead”. I expected to enjoy November’s “The Waters of Mars” more, being horror based and directed by Graeme Harper, but preferred the rapport between the two leads on the red bus to the comedy robot on the red planet! Due to the prominence of said bus, “Planet of the Dead” reminded me of the Sylvester McCoy adventure “Delta and the Bannermen”, for which I’ve always held a soft spot. Both stories are great fun. However, I suspect Michelle’s episode was probably more influenced by “The Mummy Returns”. I thought David Tennant and Michelle Ryan worked extraordinarily well together and, like the relationship between Peter Davison’s Fifth Doctor and Nicola Bryant’s Peri in “The Caves of Androzani”, they left me wanting more…

Michelle is building quite a reputation for herself in the fantasy genre altogether. What with a returning role, playing a villainess, in the first series of “Merlin”, an aborted attempt, after eight episodes, to revive the “Bionic Woman”, and as one of the protagonists in Steven Moffat’s “Jekyll” it would be good to see her continue in this vein rather than return to soap land. It may be a question of needs must but that would be a shame for this fine actress. Her turn in corset drama “Mansfield Park”, alongside Billie Piper, is also worth a mention. Support Miss Ryan on Sunday!

Warden’s Watch: Doctor Who - Series Five, Episodes Four to Six

The new series of “Doctor Who” continues to be a mix of the good and the downright awful! Episodes four and five, “The Time of Angels” and “Flesh and Stone”, attempt to develop ideas from two of Steven Moffat’s earlier stories, the Weeping Angel statues from Series Three’s “Blink” and Alex Kingston’s River Song from the two-part library story of the Fourth Series. I like the former, not so keen on the latter! All this “sweetie” nonsense, and continued reference to “spoilers”, is a bit cringe-making. For heaven’s sake, it was only in the previous story, “Victory of the Daleks”, that the Doctor called one of the pepper pots “sweetheart”! Despite liking the statues in the Carey Mulligan episode, I’m not so sure it was a good idea to bring them back. The new story seemed to virtually ignore the original concept of what happens to an Angel’s victims. Less importantly, but nonetheless irritatingly, the Doctor loses his jacket to one of the stone beasties, at one point, then, unseen by the viewer, somehow manages to retrieve his tweed threads by the end!

The best scene in the Fifth Series, so far, came in the second part of the Weeping Angel yarn. I’d go so far as to say it’s the best scene since Jefferson’s eulogy to Scooti Manista, four years ago, in “The Impossible Planet”. I’m talking about the marvellous dialogue between the Doctor and Father Octavian upon the latter’s demise. Genuinely moving. The trouble is, it is almost immediately undermined by the ending of “Flesh and Stone”. New “Doctor Who” does this a lot. It’s afraid to capitalise on truly emotional moments. What does Moffat do? He has new companion Amy come on to the Doctor in the most ludicrous manner. We’ve been there before. Russell did all that ad nauseam… for five blooming years! I’d hoped we’d put such crassness behind us. At first I thought it was padding because the story had under run again, like the Dalek episode two weeks earlier, but its dubious purpose is to set up a ménage à trois between the Doctor, Rory and Amy exploited during the sixth episode, “The Vampires of Venice”, written by Toby Whithouse - the man behind “Being Human”, the “Doctor Who” episode “School Reunion” and the “Torchwood” episode “Greeks Bearing Gifts”.

And what a flippant beginning to the much-awaited vampire tale. It would’ve been amusing in any other drama but “Doctor Who”. We’d already had Amy as a WPC kissagram, in the opening story of the series, and so we return to the idea with the Doctor replacing the stripper at Rory’s stag night! I was hoping for some genuine gothic horror, just for once, but “The Vampires of Venice” is undermined before it has barely begun. Why does the series try so hard to be domestic just to appeal to the “EastEnders” crowd? Why doesn’t it simply be itself? It managed it for twenty-six years. I don’t buy into the notion it had to change to appeal to a modern audience. Only if said audience lacks intelligence! (There is a current series does domestic brilliantly, by the way, even though it’s ostensibly a supernatural drama. I won’t reveal its name here as I hope to devote a future post to it.) The vampires themselves were terrific looking, as you can see from the above picture - a scene reminiscent of the Haemovores breaking in through a vestry window in “The Curse of Fenric”, while their two leaders were portrayed suitably seriously until being revealed, predictably pseudo-scientifically, as “fish from space”! “They bite”!!

Warden’s Watch: Doctor Who - Series Five, Episodes One to Three

It’s “Doctor Who”, Tim, but not as we know it! The much-loved science fiction fairy tale is back and it’s still as beleaguered with problems as under its previous show-runner. On the plus side, gone are the gratuitous references to homosexuality which Russell T Davies forced upon his audience every episode - John Nathan-Turner was gay too, but didn’t see the series as the place to air a personal agenda - and, better still, gone are all the companions’ annoyingly-grating mothers. Rose, Donna, Martha - they all came with one! It’s already established, in “The Eleventh Hour”, that Amy’s parents are dead and that she lives with her aunt. We’ve never had that before in “Doctor Who”! I was also hoping new Executive Producer Steven Moffat would drop the season-umbrella idea, so poorly realised previously with Bad Wolf, Torchwood and Saxon, and keep the stories self-contained. But the crack in the wall in the first episode and again this week, at the end of “Victory of the Daleks”, coupled with Amy’s lack of memory concerning the events of “The Stolen Earth” suggest these ideas are the running themes of Series Five.

Upon his arrival, Mister Moffat indicated a desire for all things new. New Doctor, new short-skirted rather than trouser-wearing companion, ghastly new opening titles in which the actors names are almost unreadable, terribly uninspired new logo, the worst arrangement of the theme tune ever, new - better than the last one - TARDIS console room, new lick of paint for the old Police Box, and now five new impressively-oversized individually-coloured Daleks! But all these things are cosmetic. It doesn’t really matter that much which actor plays the Doctor, ask Tom Baker! What you really need are superbly-written scripts and both “The Beast Below” and the Dalek extravaganza were too short for their good ideas to be fully realised. We’ve been landed with the same format, ten stories over thirteen episodes, when we’d be better off with just six stories over those same thirteen instalments. The classic series’ four-parters were ideal in length, structured a bit like a traditional symphony. If you want superficial then forty minutes is fine but, if you’re looking for substantial, one hour forty minutes is preferable. There was never any need for this change in format when the programme originally returned in 2005. The one thing they should’ve retained they threw out with the bath water!

The “new” Executive Producer has held onto those blessed stallholders much beloved of RTD. We met them in “The Long Game”, we met them in “Gridlock”, we met them in “The Fires of Pompeii” and again in “Turn Left”, and up they popped most recently onboard the Starship UK. These villains return more often than the Daleks! The stallholder, one of many ideas “borrowed” from the JN-T era, was better realised by Peggy Mount in “The Greatest Show in the Galaxy”. Then there’s the obligatory gunk-tank, splattering all and sundry, firstly whenever there’s a Slitheen around, next getting messy in the canteen kitchen in “School Reunion”, and now hurtling down a tube into slime onboard, yes you’ve guessed it, the Starship UK! And where are the Doctor’s table manners? Compare the Tenth Doctor’s eating habits in “The Unicorn and the Wasp” with those of his successor in “The Eleventh Hour”. Both very very mucky!!! I did admire how writer Mark Gatiss managed to cram all three best things from Christopher Eccleston’s single year into a single episode, namely an historical figure, new-look Dalek and Blitz-ravaged London. Churchill was fun, the pepper pots buggered off too quickly and the Second World War setting always works in “Doctor Who”… just watch “The Curse of Fenric”!

If I Were Davros…

It’s no secret that under Russell T. Davies I’ve found “Doctor Who” to be severely lacking! Whereas “Fury from the Deep”, a six-part story from the late Sixties, carries an inspiring ecological subtext about the dangers of not replenishing the Earth’s natural resources upon bleeding them dry, modern “Doctor Who” appears to be about nothing in particular except sitting on your arse all day watching the telly on a council estate! No wonder I feel cheated!! If I wanted to watch the latter, I could tune into crap like “EastEnders” or open the back door. I want to watch the former served up as a metaphor featuring weed creatures rising up out of the sea to take their revenge with the aid of poison gas exhaling humans. I want terror not soap. So, if I was about to inherit the mantle of show runner instead of Steven Moffat, how would I go about correcting the numerous mistakes made over the last four series? How would I make “Doctor Who”? What would I do if I had the power, if I were Davros…

The first change I would make to “Doctor Who” is in doing away with the single episode story. They do not give enough time for character or plot development and have all but removed the all-important cliff-hanger from the programme. At present, each season gives the viewer ten stories over thirteen episodes. Keeping the thirteen forty-five minute episode format, I would reduce the number of stories to six, five two-parters would be followed by a concluding three-part season finale. This would also be more cost effective in that you are reducing the number of opening nights by four. Jon Pertwee’s producer Barry Letts was very aware of how best to utilise the budget over a full season.

My next major change would be to do away with the season arc. Under Russell, we’ve had Bad Wolf, Torchwood, Saxon and, most recently, the return of Rose. Without exception, all failures. Each of my six stories would be self-contained, with no linking devices. Trying to keep your audience hooked Russell’s way is doomed to failure if the final episode fails to deliver. Give your public half-a-dozen strongly written, well executed, stories, excitingly concluded, so they’ll want to return for more instead of trying to twist their arm into staying with the programme only to receive a smack in the face like the Doctor at the hands of the parody Master in “Last of the Time Lords”!

Another important change would be to do away with companion’s families. I’m sick to death of the Doctor touching base every other week, at his latest travelling partner’s domicile. It’s alright to start off with an assistant’s familial attachments, such as when Peri was introduced in “Planet of Fire”, but to keep revisiting home turf is way too safe for a series originally steeped in fear and terror. What a shame they didn’t lop off the final fifteen minutes of the concluding episode, this year, and keep it to forty-five minutes, rather than allowing the writer’s excessive over-indulgence. Reign it in, edit, do away with superfluous material. Get rid of the baggage!

One Doctor, one companion. Throughout. No regenerations unless the lead is moving on. If you promise a death, deliver! Russell promised in Season’s Two and Four and went back on his word. Rose didn’t die in battle, unfortunately, and Donna had her memory all-too-conveniently wiped! Absolutely no reset buttons, in any way, shape or form!! I would choose a different writer for each story and, if possible, none would have written for the series before. I wouldn’t insist on writing the finale myself but would like to have a stab at one of the adventures! I’ve no objection to returning monsters, the Ice Warriors - as depicted in their black and white episodes - would be welcome, and wouldn’t insist on naming new ones myself, as Russell did the Ood. I’m pretty certain Verity Lambert didn’t insist Terry Nation call his creations the Daleks!! I think the writer came up with the name all on his lonesome.

So, there you have it. My six-story plan for the next season of “Doctor Who”! I fear it may be too late to give me the job!!

Warden’s Watch: Midnight

I found myself groaning as the latest episode of “Doctor Who”, named after the planet “Midnight”, began in the usual comedy-laden style of Russell T. Davies but, by its conclusion, realised I had been thoroughly gripped. In a bizarre twist of the pen, episode ten was much more terrifying than the preceding two-parter by Steven Moffat, which I admired more than enjoyed. While Moffat’s adventure was experimental in nature, RTD’s story was more a case of horror by the book, though none the worse because of that. Once it got past its silliness, “Midnight” became thoroughly scary. In fact, the throwaway lightness of the opening moments only served to heighten the horror once it kicked in. Possession is always a reliable storyteller… with no need for monsters so obviously human in rubber suits. What you can’t see is often more frightening than what you can because once something is visible you can make an assessment as how, best, to deal with it.

I’ve always found Lesley Sharp to be a reliably good actress. In this week’s episode of “Doctor Who”, she played her role, as being under the influence of an unknown alien entity, for all she was worth. She didn’t look down on the show as, somehow, being dramatically inferior. Even Rusty in his writing capacity, obliged to let us know Sky was a lesbian, didn’t manage to ruin it for Lesley with his too often-repeated personal agenda! David Troughton, also, sustained a good performance as Professor Hobbes, even giving those of us with long televisual memories welcome hints of his “A Very Peculiar Practice” character, Doctor Bob Buzzard! Loved it when he shook hands with the Doctor. It was like the ghost of his dad, Patrick, greeting the present incarnation… though Troughton junior’s been in the show in his own right of course, notably as King Peladon, during the run of his father’s successor.

Much of the pre-publicity for “Midnight” focused on Lindsey Coulson because we’re all supposed to know who she is from “EastEnders”. But, not being a watcher of soaps, the BBC’s presumption was lost on me! Having looked it up, I’m able to inform those of you in a similar position to myself that she played somebody called Carol Jackson!! And, naturally, that leaves us all none the wiser!!! I was more interested in one of her co-stars. The production team seems to have developed a penchant, this year, for actresses with the Christian name Ayesha. “Planet of the Ood” featured Ayesha Dharker as Solana Mercurio and, now, “Midnight” introduced us to gorgeous “Grange Hill” actress Ayesha Antoine as the Professor’s put-upon prodigy Dee Dee Blasco. Curious how the younger characters in this story were shown as smarter than their elders. Older folk are not necessarily immune to new ideas!

Unlike Miss Dharker in the earlier episode this season, Miss Antoine survived to the end of the current story which, in itself, makes a refreshing change. Not everyone lived in Russell’s latest, a contentious issue since the conclusion of Moffat’s overly-optimistic recent opus. “Midnight” saw the demise of all three crew members together with the possessed passenger, the ship’s hostess taking the latter in a moment of self-sacrifice. The suggestion the hostess knew the Doctor wasn’t human was a nice touch, though I’m sure there will be those wanting an answer as to how she knew rather than just enjoying the joke. Rose appeared briefly again, still in a state of distress, unseen by the Doctor who had his back to the monitor on which she appeared to call his name. Next week, we’ll be able to see Billie Piper in full, so to speak, but the Doctor will have to wait that little bit longer…

Telly Visions: Talulah Riley

I’ve mentioned her before, in passing, but it was over two-and-a-quarter years ago… I even posted her picture to accompany the piece… So, it was good to see Talulah Riley back on our screens last night, in the “Doctor Who” episode “Silence in the Library”, although, sadly, her time in the story was short-lived. You can bet your bottom dollar that if I fancy someone, they’re the first character to be killed off! It happened a couple of years ago with MyAnna Buring, in “The Impossible Planet”, much to my annoyance!! I saw it coming this time, though, as I hadn’t seen Talulah in any of the prepublicity stills accompanying the hype surrounding Steven Moffat’s excellent latest adventure. She wasn’t featured in any of the trailers, either, so I was beginning to think her appearance was nothing more than a myth. In fact, I did notice the actress afterwards, in the accompanying “Doctor Who Confidential” documentary “Shadow Play”, having her photo taken, in costume, in a group shot with the rest of the astronauts. Hopefully, this picture will be made available shortly! There’s an old showbiz adage says “always leave them wanting more” and I suppose this was the case with tasty Talulah! The bizarrely named Miss Evangelista, her character, was reduced to a talking skeleton two thirds into the episode!! Sounds even more grotesque than her name but, believe me, in the context of the narrative, it worked.

Talulah is probably best known for her performance, alongside Donald Sutherland and Brenda Blethyn, as Mary Bennet in the recent movie version of “Pride & Prejudice”. I first came across Miss Riley, though, in an episode of “Agatha Christie’s Marple”, entitled “The Moving Finger”, in which she played the hopelessly lovelorn Megan Hunter to perfection. She certainly made me sit up and take notice, at any rate! Most recently, Talulah (spelling her name with two Ls and an H!) has been seen back on the big screen as sweet schoolgirl Annabelle Fritton, in the remake of “St. Trinian’s”, numbering Gemma Arterton, Lily Cole and Girls Aloud amongst her classmates. Yeah, I know, I seem obsessed with that film of late! But, Talulah does look good in uniform, though I can’t say for sure if she was wearing fishnet stockings and suspenders under her white astronaut costume in “Doctor Who”!! I’d like to think so! I was slightly surprised she’d accepted such a small role considering her steadily increasing credentials. It probably boils down to accepting the parts on offer, plus there is the added prestige of including the show on her CV. Lizo Mzimba, Entertainment Correspondent for BBC News and former long-serving presenter, reporter and assistant producer of CBBC’s “Newsround”, was also complimentary of the twenty-two-year-old’s stint on the episode saying, “Talulah Riley is fantastic as the not too bright Miss Evangelista - she’d make a wonderful and very different companion to the Doctor.” Naturally, I’ve posted some screen caps, on my Jukebox blog, over which you are all invited to ogle!

“Doctor Who” Series Four - Campfire Trailer, Episode Titles and Authors

01. “Partners in Crime” by Russell T Davies
02. “The Fires of Pompeii” by James Moran
03. “Planet of the Ood” by Keith Temple
04. “The Sontaran Stratagem” by Helen Raynor
05. “The Poison Sky” by Helen Raynor
06. “The Doctor’s Daughter” by Stephen Greenhorn
07. “The Unicorn and the Wasp” by Gareth Roberts
08. “Silence in the Library” by Steven Moffat
09. “Forest of the Dead” by Steven Moffat
10. “Midnight” by Russell T Davies
11. “Turn Left” by Russell T Davies
12. (This title is being kept under wraps, for the moment, probably because it includes the word Daleks!) by Russell T Davies
13. “Journey’s End” by Russell T Davies

Time and Time Lord

So, what can we expect from the new series of “Doctor Who”? Well, as we all know from recent debate, the delightful Catherine is returning to our screens reprising her role of Donna throughout all thirteen episodes. Moving on… and, perhaps more importantly, David Tennant is back for his third run of episodes although it is heavily rumoured to be his last. Some like him, some don’t. I don’t mind the actor but I’m not particularly keen on the way he plays the part. I suspect that is, in no small way, partly due to executive producer Russell T. Davies. It’s rumoured the current show runner will soon be moving on to pastures new as well. To my way of thinking, that can only be a good thing, both for him, creatively, but also for the programme. New blood will bring, hopefully, new ideas. Meantime, Series Four promises a repeat of exactly the same season structure we’ve endured for the past three years. Three multi-part stories and single-episode adventures for the rest with, yet again, the lone intelligent tale looking like being the middle two-parter entitled “Silence in the Library”, and (naturally) written by Steven Moffat!

The finale sees the return of the Daleks, not seen since - oh, let me think - last year, but they haven’t been seen in the closing episodes for - oh, let me think, again - two years. Bring them back quickly, I say, after the complete mess of “Last of the Time Lords”. It was so bad I’ve actually stopped taping the show, for the first time since I possessed a VCR. Shame, really, because the seven minutes or so of the “Children in Need” episode wasn’t that bad thanks to Steven Moffat’s reasonably witty script, but largely due to the return of Sir Peter Davison! Anyway, there’s a slight difference this time round. With the Daleks comes Davros, fictional creator of the creatures from Skaro. He was first seen in “Doctor Who” in 1975 in “Genesis of the Daleks” but his whereabouts have been undisclosed since 1988 when he bowed out with a brief appearance at the climax of “Remembrance of the Daleks”, having appeared in five consecutive Dalek stories. Davros has been located by Caan, last survivor of the Dalek race (yawn), and he is helping the Dalek to create a new race of Daleks. In a shock development in the final episode, a Dalek casing opens to reveal Harriet Jones, played by Penelope Wilton, the mother of all the new Daleks.

Before the Daleks re-emergence, a couple of other old favourites are due for an outing. Those awfully nice Ood chappies will be back in episode three, which is good news except for the Doctor, presumably. I like them, about the only thing in Rusty’s re-imagining I do like! I still don’t understand why RTD thought it was his job to name them. Surely that was the prerogative of the fellow who wrote “The Impossible Planet” and ”The Satan Pit”? Did Verity Lambert tell Terry Nation to call his creation the Daleks?!! I don’t think so! Immediately after “Planet of the Ood”, we will be treated to “The Sontaran Stratagem”, the first of the two-parters, which features the return of the Ice Warriors - I wish! Actually, there’s several monsters I would’ve preferred to see returning rather than the Sontarans… Zarbi, Mechonoids, Yeti, Silurians, Sea Devils to name a few. The Sontarans have previously featured four times in the classic series to varying degrees of success and one wonders if they will also be pitted against the Daleks, at the end of the series, as were the Cybermen two years ago - such is Russell’s love of formulaic television.

The TARDIS really travels abroad this year for a fleeting visit to Rome in episode two, “The Fires of Pompeii”. Sorry, Steve, but I doubt they’ll bump into Frankie Howerd, or the lovely Erotica would’ve been even fruitier! And, the time travellers encounter Agatha Christie in episode seven, “The Unicorn and the Wasp”. Together, they investigate a strange murder. Now, there’s a surprise! Rose is in the last four episodes, Martha’s back, Jack’s back, Sarah Jane is back, I’m back, and we get to meet the Doctor’s daughter in episode six. Is she original companion Susan Foreman’s mum? I just love mothers in new “Doctor Who”! And that reminds me, Jackie’s back!! How could I forget and what could be better?!! In the picture, that’s not the Doctor’s new costume, by the way, despite it being in burgundy! That’s what David wore to Billie’s wedding. The new series starts in, precisely, two weeks time on Saturday, April 5 on BBC One, hour to be confirmed though presumably around 7pm. Meanwhile, if you can’t wait or you’re curious, or both, you can see the trailer tonight, for the first time, again on BBC One at 7.05pm or online straight after. The surgery is open and it’s sooner than you think!

High Five!

If you missed the mini-episode of “Doctor Who” during “Children in Need” on Friday, or would just like to see it again, here’s an easy way to view the programme. It holds up well under repeated viewing. As well as “Time Crash” itself, I’ve also included the accompanying “Confidential” documentary for the complete experience!

“All My Love To Long Ago”

“Doctor Who” was back for all of eight minutes, as part of “Children in Need” night, in a mini-episode, written by Steven Moffat and directed by Graeme Harper, entitled “Time Crash”. I’ve already seen it described, subsequently, as “Time Crap” but I thought it was good fun with a rather poignant final minute. My favourite line was actually one given to tenth Doctor David Tennant, and thus the obvious choice for the title of this post, but, overall, I thought fifth Doctor Peter Davison out-acted his successor. He was “let’s be honest, pretty sort-of-marvellous”! Readers may think I’m prejudiced in his favour because I prefer the classic series to Russell T. Davies’ reinvention but that isn’t the reason. Peter wasn’t “My Doctor”, just the better actor on this occasion. They really only got it spot on, during his era, in his final story so it was intriguing to see the actor reunited with the director of that story, “The Caves of Androzani”, for this little, well-balanced, excursion.

While David may have had the best line, the one tinged with A. E. Housman-style regret of a past long since lost, the fifth Doctor had the leading question, and the one I’ve been asking myself for the last two years, when he asks the tenth, “Is there something wrong with you?”! Perhaps David is “the decorative vegetable” rather than Peter’s stick of celery!! Steven Moffat summed up the current Doctor’s predilection for “ranting in my face about every single thing that happens to be in front of him” perfectly!!! My only regret about “Time Crash” is that it wasn’t a full-length episode. Having gone to the trouble of rehiring a popular former-leading man from the series, together with the programme’s best director of that period combined (for the first time) with the writing skills of the current series’ best author, it would’ve been nice to see the central relationship developed further… as in “The Two Doctors”, one of my “Blue Remembered Hills”. I echo the sentiment, “All My Love To Long Ago”.

Out for a Duck!

The release of the third DVD volume, from series three of new “Doctor Who”, gives me an opportunity to say a little more on the subject of Steven Moffat’s episode “Blink”. I had high hopes of this story, before it transmitted, and in the first thirty seconds or so the atmosphere created boded well. Unfortunately, as soon as Sally Sparrow peeled back the wallpaper, I knew the writing was on the wall! Yes, it captured David Tennant’s Doctor, without him even being there, but boy did it quickly undermine the mood of the piece. I am, of course, referring to the words “Duck, no really, duck”!! The story was spoiled before it had barely begun. Reading the line made me cringe because, reasonably, no one would bother to write a warning that crass. I wonder whether or not it was in Moffat’s script or if Russell T Davies added it during production. My next gripe followed hot on the heels of the first. I question that the Doctor would conclude his message “Love from the Doctor”. It is established in the opening two-part story on this disc, “Human Nature” and “The Family of Blood”, that the Doctor has to actually become human in order to understand the very concept of love. For this reason, I don’t think he would’ve used the word “love” and, as he did, I would very much like to know what he meant by it? It does suggest that there is little communication amongst the writing staff of the programme when a single, very important, word directly contradicts what has immediately gone before. I wanted “Blink” to be terrifying but already it had descended into the usual realm of playing silly buggers.

“Blink” repeatedly plays the same card, removing the possibility of building up any tension, by undermining what narrative there is with infantile humour. There’s the scene in which Larry Nightingale stands naked before Sally, covering his essentials with his hands, much to the embarrassment of his sister Kathy! For a moment, I thought I was watching “Torchwood” as I vaguely remember a scene in which Gwen Cooper also apologises, this time for her boyfriend’s awkward lack of apparel. Fine for the target audience of the spin-off series but is it really “Doctor Who”? And, having done it once, couldn’t the team come up with something new? Or, is that the level to which their mindset is immovably fixed? Completely at odds with the knowing (hey, here’s a penis gag in “Doctor Who”) wink to the viewer is the Doctor’s so-called “Timey-Wimey” device. This contraption is thus named so that all the three-year-olds watching this supposedly-adult horror story can also join in the fun. Any self-respecting “Doctor Who” fan ought to be inwardly-squirming in mortification by this stage, rooted to the spot much like one of the Weeping Angel statues in the story itself! Everybody raved about this episode because it was written by Mr Moffat and he is the newly-crowned God of “Doctor Who”. It should’ve been him wafting across the set, angel-like, in “Last of the Time Lords”, not David Tennant. Yet, despite all my criticism, and though it doesn’t say much for the rest of the series, I would agree that “Blink” is still the best of the bunch! That may have far more to do with the “gorgeous girl” at the heart of the narrative than the actual writing itself!! And, that’s not to say the episode was totally bereft of good lines, my favourite being “Sad is the thinking person’s happy”… because, whatever the emotional consequence, the thinking person always acknowledges the truth.