Taking care of Carey

Five years ago, many red-blooded Doctor Who fans were clamouring for actress Carey Mulligan to become the Doctor’s next companion after she almost single-handedly carried the episode Blink. It was not to be. Freema Agyeman was replaced by Catherine Tate and Carey’s character, Sally Sparrow, became but a birdcall in the garden of fond memories! Miss Mulligan has, of course, gone on to bigger things, though not necessarily greater. It’s unlikely we’ll ever see her back in Doctor Who, even though its current show-runner, Steven Moffat, created her character in a short story for an annual before embellishing it into a full-blown television episode.

I first noticed Carey in 2005, two years before her appearance in Series Three of Doctor Who, when she took on the role of Ada Clare, one of the wards in the court case of Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce, in Andrew Davies’ excellent BBC adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Bleak House. I thought her extraordinarily pretty but predicted Anna Maxwell Martin, who played another of the wards, Esther Summerson, would go on to be the more successful of the two female leads. I was wrong, possibly. Their stories aren’t over yet and it depends how you define success. Anna’s worked solidly in this country while Carey has tried her hand at working in Hollywood. America suits some better than others. It may mean bigger bucks but the jobs aren’t necessarily as satisfying.

Carey Mulligan’s portrayal of the gifted-but-emotionally-impressionable Jenny, in the BBC-funded An Education, was the breakthrough role which brought her to the attention of American producers such as Oliver Stone. It wasn’t long before she found herself starring opposite Michael Douglas, playing his daughter of all things, in the Wall Street sequel Money Never Sleeps. I know the tagline of the original was “greed is good” but surely Catherine Zeta Jones must be handful enough?! The image above shows Carey on the set of neo-noir road movie Drive, wearing shades - I suspect - not to look cool but to hide tired eyes from the glare of paparazzi! Should you want to see her naked, and I know you all hanker after nothing else, look no further than Steve McQueen’s tale of sex-addiction, Shame, in which she plays Michael Fassbender’s saucy sister Sissy. To be fair, there’s much more to this psychological drama than Mulligan’s mammaries, as gratifying as it may be to finally catch a glimpse!

If you can’t get enough of her loving (and who can?), Carey Hannah can also be seen, brassiere intact, opposite the likes of Jim Broadbent and Colin Firth in And When Did You Last See Your Father?; as Kitty Bennet in the film version of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, alongside Keira Knightley, Brenda Blethyn and Donald Sutherland; and in an ITV1 adaptation of Northanger Abbey as Isabella Thorpe. To bring her story smack-bang up to date, she has just finished working with Titanic heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio and Romeo + Juliet director Baz Luhrmann on a remake of The Great Gatsby, due out on Christmas Day, playing the role Mia Farrow brought to life in the 1974 film version of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, the superficial Daisy Buchanan. Give me your answer, do!

Opening salvo

Doctor Who will return in September, this year, with an opening episode entitled Asylum Of The Daleks! Sounds intriguing. In the season which celebrates the programme’s Fiftieth Anniversary, in 2013, what better way to start than with a story that promises to feature every single Dalek design ever seen in the series, since its inception in 1963, on screen simultaneously. This is how a series of Doctor Who should begin. Go in with all guns blazing! Some fans sometimes suggest the Daleks are overused, especially since the show’s return in 2005. But the statistics don’t really support their argument, even if it seems as though the pepper pots from Skaro are always popping up. It’s true that, in the general public’s eye, the mutant creatures are synonymous with the series. When Catherine Tate joined Doctor Who as companion Donna Noble, the actress assumed the Doctor battled the Daleks every episode… clearly a big fan! The two Peter Cushing Doctor Who films, of the 1960s, did much to reinforce this notion, so it is understandable. Never underestimate the importance of the Daleks in regards the popularity of Doctor Who. You’re less likely to do so, I think, if you grew up during their initial heyday, rather than in the programme’s second decade where the makers of the series perhaps became less interested in harnessing their full potential.

Pictured with current Doctor Who regulars, Matt Smith and Karen Gillan, is an appropriately dust-and-cobweb-covered version of a Dalek not seen in a Doctor Who adventure since 1967! I see this particular metal menace every night, before going to bed, and each morning, before my Malt Bites, because a scale model resides on my dressing table. Personal problems aside, this Dalek-type last saw the light of day in the original Series Four finale The Evil Of The Daleks. This seven-parter was supposed to herald “the final end” of the Daleks whilst creator Terry Nation tried, unsuccessfully, to flog them to the Americans. Apart from the first-ever repeat of an entire serial, a year after its initial broadcast, and not counting the odd cameo, the Daleks wouldn’t be seen again in the series until the beginning of Season Nine. With the exception of episode two, which saw the introduction of my all-time favourite companion Victoria Waterfield played by Deborah Watling, The Evil Of The Daleks is one of many stories missing from the BBC archives - Exterminated by the carelessness and crassness of bureaucracy! The Daleks themselves would be proud of such vile annihilation. It’s also the adventure many fans would most like to see recovered. Fury From The Deep is top of my list but Evil is second.

Much of the filming for the new Seventh Series of Doctor Who has been taking place abroad. The Producers must be onto some good package deals, considering the show has always been so budget conscious! But, they’ve visited Spain and are currently in the United States. Specifically, Matt, Karen, and Arthur Darvill are presently recording in Central Park, Manhattan - the very location of the David Tennant two-part Dalek adventure from five years ago. Except, David, and Freema Agyeman, never got to visit New York for the story, using Cardiff as a double instead! It reminds me a little of when Janet Fielding (Tegan) left the series, back in 1984, only for the next story to be partly shot in Lanzarote! Incoming Nicola Bryant (Peri) had all the benefits!! It seems unlikely the Daleks will also be revisiting Manhattan Island, as the logistics would surely make this impractical, but you never know what’s around the corner in the worlds of Doctor Who. They’ve shipped a red double-decker bus out to Dubai, in the past, so what’s a multiplicity of Daleks?!! In a television universe that’s seen fit to abandon Survivors, Outcasts, Spooks, Hustle, Medium and even Doctor Who Confidential, not to mention banishing the 53-year-old Blue Peter to CBBC, in favour of interminable coverage of both the Olympic Games and Queen’s Jubilee, I, for one, am looking forward to the next series of Doctor Who!

Who Survives(?)

“Doctor Who” celebrates its forty-fifth anniversary today and there’s not a single programme on television to mark the occasion!

“The Bill” recently celebrated its twenty-fifth year, ITV slipping in a couple of special episodes just in the nick of time, before giving over most of its precious airspace to jungle idiocy. So, why can’t the BBC manage something similar, between dancing bouts, for its flagship science fiction series, especially now they claim it’s so popular once again? Too busy trying not to hurt the feelings of Jonathan Ross no doubt!

Ironically, the BBC are resurrecting Terry (Dalek creator) Nation’s post-apocalyptic “Survivors” tonight, based on his highly original novel and television series from the mid-Seventies. I don’t know whether I should be excited or give up the notion of ever seeing anything as remotely creative as television once was.

“Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased)”, “Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons”, “Doctor Who” and now “Survivors”… what are the chances of the latter being as good, second time around, considering the quality of those other revivals when compared to their originals? The changes to the structure of the programme don’t bode well…

Two of the three lead characters of the original first season of “Survivors” are now a politically-correct shade of black while the endearingly brilliant Talfryn Thomas, as Tom Price, has morphed into Mr. chunky-hunky Max Beesley.

The new “Survivors” is brought to the Beeb by the same team who sold ITV “Primeval”. Fun as that was, the present undertaking needs to be grim.

It’ll be interesting to see how “Survivors” fares in the ratings up against the aforementioned, oh-so-popular, celebrity lunacy. I won’t hold my breath. Or, perhaps I should, given the nature of the epidemic! People want fun and what better way to have it than see people humiliated down under, credit crunching on bugs. Hopefully, “Survivors” will be intelligent, at the very least…

“Survivors” is the closest we’re going to get to “Doctor Who” (1963-89) tonight, to which I wish a very Happy Birthday!

Warden’s Watch: The Doctor’s Daughter (or… Hello, Father-in-Lord!)

Twenty years ago, in “Silver Nemesis”, we were promised a story that would change the way we’d see the Doctor forever! Well, forever is a long time and the Sylvester McCoy/Cybermen story, not surprisingly, didn’t deliver the anticipated change in our perception of the lead character!! Now in its forty-fifth year, “Doctor Who” decided to have another attempt, in this week’s episode “The Doctor’s Daughter”, titillating the viewer with exactly the same proposition, but, once again, fell short of the mark. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it. I did! In fact, it’s probably my second favourite episode of the season so far, as, despite overstating the story’s intention with the preceding hype, there was still much to commend it. The audience was, successfully, taken on that emotional journey of feeling the pain, and sense of loss, in daughter-heroine Jenny’s death only to feel the joy, moments later, in her resurrection. She didn’t regenerate, despite being the offspring of a Time Lord, but it was a purposeful twist in the tale of which the Doctor is, at present, unaware. I would love to revisit this new character, at some point, and the end seemed designed for a spin-off series. I can already hear groans of disapproval, but surely a show about a space-girl adventurer would go down far better with today’s children than one about a sixty-year-old reporter, however much we all love Sarah Jane!

The Hath were highly effective. When the creatures were all stood around stroking dear Martha’s hair, they reminded me of the Silurians in their lair, from their original 1970 adventure, whilst not looking dissimilar to their cousins the Sea Devils. We’ve had four good consecutive monster episodes of which I approve. And, speaking of Miss Jones, her reaction to the death of her new found Hath friend, Peck, was totally heartbreaking. Freema does have the acting range which some deny of her. I am guilty of the same regarding Catherine Tate. My mum, certainly not a fan of Tate’s sketch show, says this actress is highly believable in the role of companion, as the Doctor’s conscience, and I’m inclined to agree. The former “Runaway Bride” is coming across as a more complete human being than she ever did in her debut. Yes, she can still be extremely irritating but, at the same time, touching and isn’t that how most people are? Before you all start claiming that that’s a bit of a turnaround, in my feelings towards Donna Noble, I’m not entirely sure I haven’t lowered my expectations just a little, this year, in an attempt to enjoy the show more than hitherto! And, my mum might well enjoy Catherine, more than Billie, for the very same reason I suggested children might prefer Georgia Moffett, legs astride a giant rocket, kicking butt in her own action series.

I enjoyed Nigel Terry’s performance as General Cobb, but then I’m already partial to the actor. Having said that, I wasn’t greatly enamoured with Phil Davis as Lucius, in “The Fires of Pompeii”, and I admire him as well. So, it doesn’t automatically follow that, just because you like someone, you’ll always warm to a favourite actor’s every appearance! Nigel has that world-weary, downtrodden, look and deeply sonorous voice that make him ideal in such roles. I was disappointed to find no wallpapers of him on the BBC site. And, while I’m on the subject, it’s even more of an oversight that there are no images of Bernard Cribbins, as Wilfred Mott, either! Talking pictures, I’ve posted a small selection of uncropped screen caps in a new “As Seen On TV” feature on my Jukebox blog, as well as the episode’s three teasers, that I hope capture the essential spirit of the main storyline of “The Doctor’s Daughter”. I’m not sure I’ll enjoy next week’s episode quite as much. On the plus side, “The Unicorn and the Wasp” is directed by Graeme Harper, who made such a good job of “Planet of the Ood”, but, alternatively, I don’t much care for the Agatha Christie subject matter. I’d be only too happy to be proved wrong, though, and make it five good episodes in a row!

The Other Doctor

Things are looking up in the world of “Doctor Who”! After a run of five poor episodes, beginning with the last two of last year’s season, taking in the Christmas special, and concluding with the first two of the latest series, we’ve now had three good ones on the trot, up to and including last night’s “The Poison Sky”!! I had my doubts about the return of the war-loving clones but all involved seemed to pull it off with more than a twinkle in their eye. It helped that the masks actually moved with each actor’s facial performance together with the fact that these marauding aliens are far more chatty than those from either Skaro or Mondas. Christopher Ryan, last seen in “Doctor Who” nearly twenty-two years ago as Mentor Kiv in the “Mindwarp” segment of “The Trial of a Time Lord”, really seemed to be enjoying himself! Rose popped up briefly again, this time on the TARDIS monitor, and appeared to be mouthing the syllables of “Doctor” in a panicked state. But, best of all was Bernard Cribbins who reminded me of the proprietor of the Shangri La holiday camp, Burton, as played by “Please Sir” actor Richard Davies in the seventh Doctor story “Delta and the Bannermen”, in that he accepts the situation, however bizarre, and just gets on with it. Donna’s grandfather is truly a refreshing change from every single family member we’ve been introduced to over the last few years!

And, next week’s story looks like being a corker, too! Not only does the episode ironically feature fifth Doctor Peter Davison’s real-life daughter Georgia Moffett, as “The Doctor’s Daughter”, but also accomplished Shakespearean actor Nigel Terry, whom you may have seen in “The Ruth Rendell Mysteries” whodunit “A Guilty Thing Surprised” or, more recently, as Professor Stephen Curtis in two episodes of “Spooks”. 2008 is shaping up to be a monster year for our favourite science fiction series, in more ways than one… We’ve seen the return of the Ood and the Sontarans, which may well have had something to do with the upturn in quality, though not necessarily, and the Daleks are still to resurface with the Cybermen at the end of the year. The original “Monster” Season was the Fifth, from the classic era of the programme, despite not actually featuring any Daleks, with the exception of a repeat of “The Evil of the Daleks” from the previous year. Nearly two decades later, producer John Nathan-Turner tried to emulate this theme in Season Twenty-One. So, maybe at the back of the mind of Russell T. Davies is a desire to have a go at this himself. He wouldn’t want to feel left out at not having left his mark in every conceivable area!

While the latest episodes have been transmitting, the “Doctor Who” crew have been filming just a few miles down the road from me, at Gloucester Cathedral, the location used for many of the school sequences in the earlier “Harry Potter” movies. David Tennant’s Doctor has been attending a funeral. College Green was covered with artificial snow for a scene in which mourners, in Victorian costume, marched in front of a horse-drawn carriage carrying a coffin. It isn’t clear who is in the coffin but, at one point, Tennant watches with a grim expression as the hearse passes him. Neither Billie Piper, Freema Agyeman or Catherine Tate were present for filming, so your guess is as good as mine! While none of the familiar ladies of the new series were here, actress Velile Tshabalala was. She is rumoured to be a new companion. But, whose? Also on location was David Morrissey and attached to his trailer were the mysterious words “The Other Doctor”!! As you can see, he is certainly dressed to look like a Doctor but is he the eleventh or an incarnation from another dimension? The two Davids have worked together before on the BBC musical serial “Blackpool”. Since seeing David Morrissey as Colonel Brandon earlier in the year in “Sense and Sensibility”, I’ve been thinking what a terrific Doctor he might make. Maybe Russell caught his performance, too?

Ten of the Beast

Being in a positive frame of mind, at the present time, and given that we seem to be heading towards some sort of conclusion to the first four seasons of new “Doctor Who”, I thought it might be an appropriate moment to consider which have been the highlights of the first forty-five episodes, since the programme’s resurrection. My selection seems obvious to me, but you may beg to differ…

From Season One, in chronological order, three stories over four episodes…

1: “The Unquiet Dead” written by Mark Gatiss, directed by Euros Lyn - originally broadcast on 9th April 2005 with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler

The Doctor shares a carriage with Dickens (Simon Callow) while Rose is touched up by undertaker Gabriel Sneed (Alan David), when she’s unconscious! And, they call this a children’s show? Meanwhile, the Time Lord is taken in by a plea to “Pity the Gelth”. He does and his gullibility costs the life of servant girl Gwyneth (Eve Myles).

2: “Dalek” written by Robert Shearman, directed by Joe Ahearne - originally broadcast on 30th April 2005 with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler

A strange way to reintroduce the Doctor’s deadliest foe, with only one of the scallywags from Skaro, but, in retrospect, it’s a tough little story, totally at odds with all the emoting going on elsewhere in the series! Who would ever have thought we’d feel sympathy for a “Metaltron”? Rose’s white t-shirt indicates she’s a Dalek virgin!

3 & 4: “The Empty Child” & “The Doctor Dances” written by Steven Moffat, directed by James Hawes - originally broadcast on 21st & 28th May 2005 with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler and John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness

Doctor Constantine (Richard Wilson) grows a gasmask on his face while a little boy, in a similar predicament, asks of everyone he meets, whatever their gender, “Are you my mummy?” - That dubious honour belongs to Nancy (Florence Hoath) who’d, obviously, do absolutely anything to meet Graham Norton! Rose’s Union Jack t-shirt indicates with which Captain she’d enjoy an association!!

From Season Two, one story comprising two episodes…

5 & 6: “The Impossible Planet” & “The Satan Pit” written by Matt Jones, directed by James Strong - originally broadcast on 3rd & 10th June 2006 with David Tennant as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler

Beam me up Scooti Manista (Myanna Buring) was, no doubt, on many a male’s mind before the wee lass was sucked into a black hole above the rocky landscape of Krop Tor! Nothing Ood about that, let me assure her!! Well, you know what they say, “The beast and his armies will rise from the pit”. While the Doctor hitches a lift to the bottom, Rose attempts to keep hers covered as she gets carried away to Zachary Cross Flane’s (Shaun Parkes) escape rocket… when she’s unconscious!

From Season Three, two stories over three episodes…

7 & 8: “Human Nature” & “The Family of Blood” written by Paul Cornell, directed by Charles Palmer - originally broadcast on 26th May & 2nd June 2007 with David Tennant as the Doctor and Freema Agyeman as Martha Jones

Doctor Jones dons a maid’s uniform just so schoolteacher John Smith can show her and matron Joan Redfern (Jessica Hynes) his “Journal of Impossible Things”! I know all about his sort, the dirty little scribble monster! Oh, that’s from a different episode altogether - silly me!! Surely, that kind of thing is best left to the Marquis de Sade? Some of the kinky devils are even dressing up… as scarecrows!!!

9: “Blink” written by Steven Moffat, directed by Hettie Macdonald - originally broadcast on 9th June 2007 with Carey Mulligan as Sally Sparrow, David Tennant as the Doctor and Freema Agyeman as Martha Jones

Well, I have to say, I’d do bird to make the acquaintance of young Miss Sparrow! I can hear her song now, “Sally, Sally, pride of our alley, You’re more than the whole world to me…” Why the Doctor didn’t fly her away in his TARDIS, I’ll never know!! They could’ve done time together!!!

And, from the first three episodes of Season Four, one single-episode story…

10: “Planet of the Ood” written by Keith Temple, directed by Graeme Harper - originally broadcast on 19th April 2008 with David Tennant as the Doctor and Catherine Tate as Donna Noble

This final selection certainly provided fOod for thought! And, the Ood were prepared to sing for their supper. The script required many things, not least… plenty of brains. So quite what Donna was doing on the Ood-Sphere, in the year 4126, remains a mystery. I think she keeps hers in her hindquarters!!

The observant reader will notice I haven’t chosen a single episode written by Russell T. Davies, nor have I chosen any that feature companions’ familial ties! That’s a feat in itself!! I wonder if the two are synonymous? Considering numerous instalments of new “Doctor Who” feature harmonious mothers, melodious brothers and dynamic lovers, it may suggest these are default choices, which isn’t the case. I do, genuinely, like the episodes detailed above. Those are my favourites, which ones are yours?

“Doctor Who” Series Four - Trailer and Teasers

Well, the trailer and no less than three teasers, promoting the fourth new series of “Doctor Who”, have aired. Visually, they are impressive, to say the least. No doubt everyone has seen them by now! My favourite shot, from the main minute-and-a-half cinema preview, is of the miniscule TARDIS with exiting travellers set against the rocky alien snowscape with the Saturn-like planet at an angle on the horizon. And, least favourite is the Doctor behaving like he always does, with his blessed sonic screwdriver, whizzing in and out of shot like an idiot! I hate to say it but Donna actually seems more self-controlled than her mentor in this sequence, though I do hope she is calling Bernard Cribbins “gramps” because he is her grandfather and not just because of his age. Russell T Davies doesn’t need to discriminate against the elderly in order to increase his ratings! Donna trying to engage the Doctor’s attention through a porthole is excruciatingly reminiscent of a similar scene with Martha in last season’s “42”. I like the shot of the Noble one being menaced by a giant wasp in her bedroom! Looks as though she could be in for more than a little prick! I notice, in another shot, Donna is behind bars and, some might say, that’s the best place for her!! Of the three ten-second teasers, each featuring a returning monster, my preference is for the Dalek promo. Despite its extreme brevity, it’s beautifully shot and I love the reflection of the Doctor’s face captured in the creature’s eyestalk.

Time and Time Lord

So, what can we expect from the new series of “Doctor Who”? Well, as we all know from recent debate, the delightful Catherine is returning to our screens reprising her role of Donna throughout all thirteen episodes. Moving on… and, perhaps more importantly, David Tennant is back for his third run of episodes although it is heavily rumoured to be his last. Some like him, some don’t. I don’t mind the actor but I’m not particularly keen on the way he plays the part. I suspect that is, in no small way, partly due to executive producer Russell T. Davies. It’s rumoured the current show runner will soon be moving on to pastures new as well. To my way of thinking, that can only be a good thing, both for him, creatively, but also for the programme. New blood will bring, hopefully, new ideas. Meantime, Series Four promises a repeat of exactly the same season structure we’ve endured for the past three years. Three multi-part stories and single-episode adventures for the rest with, yet again, the lone intelligent tale looking like being the middle two-parter entitled “Silence in the Library”, and (naturally) written by Steven Moffat!

The finale sees the return of the Daleks, not seen since - oh, let me think - last year, but they haven’t been seen in the closing episodes for - oh, let me think, again - two years. Bring them back quickly, I say, after the complete mess of “Last of the Time Lords”. It was so bad I’ve actually stopped taping the show, for the first time since I possessed a VCR. Shame, really, because the seven minutes or so of the “Children in Need” episode wasn’t that bad thanks to Steven Moffat’s reasonably witty script, but largely due to the return of Sir Peter Davison! Anyway, there’s a slight difference this time round. With the Daleks comes Davros, fictional creator of the creatures from Skaro. He was first seen in “Doctor Who” in 1975 in “Genesis of the Daleks” but his whereabouts have been undisclosed since 1988 when he bowed out with a brief appearance at the climax of “Remembrance of the Daleks”, having appeared in five consecutive Dalek stories. Davros has been located by Caan, last survivor of the Dalek race (yawn), and he is helping the Dalek to create a new race of Daleks. In a shock development in the final episode, a Dalek casing opens to reveal Harriet Jones, played by Penelope Wilton, the mother of all the new Daleks.

Before the Daleks re-emergence, a couple of other old favourites are due for an outing. Those awfully nice Ood chappies will be back in episode three, which is good news except for the Doctor, presumably. I like them, about the only thing in Rusty’s re-imagining I do like! I still don’t understand why RTD thought it was his job to name them. Surely that was the prerogative of the fellow who wrote “The Impossible Planet” and ”The Satan Pit”? Did Verity Lambert tell Terry Nation to call his creation the Daleks?!! I don’t think so! Immediately after “Planet of the Ood”, we will be treated to “The Sontaran Stratagem”, the first of the two-parters, which features the return of the Ice Warriors - I wish! Actually, there’s several monsters I would’ve preferred to see returning rather than the Sontarans… Zarbi, Mechonoids, Yeti, Silurians, Sea Devils to name a few. The Sontarans have previously featured four times in the classic series to varying degrees of success and one wonders if they will also be pitted against the Daleks, at the end of the series, as were the Cybermen two years ago - such is Russell’s love of formulaic television.

The TARDIS really travels abroad this year for a fleeting visit to Rome in episode two, “The Fires of Pompeii”. Sorry, Steve, but I doubt they’ll bump into Frankie Howerd, or the lovely Erotica would’ve been even fruitier! And, the time travellers encounter Agatha Christie in episode seven, “The Unicorn and the Wasp”. Together, they investigate a strange murder. Now, there’s a surprise! Rose is in the last four episodes, Martha’s back, Jack’s back, Sarah Jane is back, I’m back, and we get to meet the Doctor’s daughter in episode six. Is she original companion Susan Foreman’s mum? I just love mothers in new “Doctor Who”! And that reminds me, Jackie’s back!! How could I forget and what could be better?!! In the picture, that’s not the Doctor’s new costume, by the way, despite it being in burgundy! That’s what David wore to Billie’s wedding. The new series starts in, precisely, two weeks time on Saturday, April 5 on BBC One, hour to be confirmed though presumably around 7pm. Meanwhile, if you can’t wait or you’re curious, or both, you can see the trailer tonight, for the first time, again on BBC One at 7.05pm or online straight after. The surgery is open and it’s sooner than you think!

Dead Giveaway

Beginning on Saturday March 15 and running to Thursday March 20, as a daily freebie with The Sun and News of the World tabloids, earthlings may collect six prize episodes of “Doctor Who” on DVD from the last two series. This follows a similar publicity incentive two years ago but, whereas, on that occasion, the episodes were culled from a selection of past Doctors, together with Christopher Eccleston’s début in “Rose”, this promotion’s six segments of the key to time are all from the David Tennant era. Pictured above, from Series Two, are “School Reunion”, the two-parter “Army of Ghosts” and “Doomsday”, and, from Series Three, “Smith and Jones”, “Blink” and “Utopia”; although, contrary to popular belief, “Blink” doesn’t really star David Tennant!

The Sun’s irresistible offer is masterly news, not least for this victim, because it’ll give me a chance to be hypnotised by Derek Jacobi’s brief-but-brilliant contribution to “Doctor Who” all over again without having to invest in the disastrously dire dénouement of last year’s season. Similarly, I can also delicately place my surgeon’s hands on a pristine copy of Freema’s medicinal début, in order to check up on yet another bloody call to a Rusty hospital and revisit the exquisite craftsmanship of Roy Marsden’s consultant Mr. Stoker. Being of totally logical disposition, though temporarily illiterate inclination, I ain’t afraid of no ghosts except when I fear they’ll haunt me for the rest of my life! The best of the bunch is “Blink” which, did I mention, doesn’t really star David Tennant!!

“I’ll see you again, Mister!”

Martha Jones returned to our screens on Wednesday evening, at 9:50pm on BBC Three, in the sixth episode of Series Two of “Torchwood”. The first of Freema Agyeman’s three-story foray, into the dark and sinister underbelly of what passes for life in Cardiff, went by the name of “Reset”, a very appropriate title for an instalment of a series devised by Russell T. Davies! The number of episodes, in both “Doctor Who” and “Torchwood”, that could’ve adequately used that designation, I’ll leave for you to work out!! It was nice to see Freema back because, of all the companions to have appeared in “Doctor Who” since its return in 2005, she’s the one I like the best. That doesn’t mean I’m immensely fond of her, it simply means I can tolerate her more than the rest of the sorry bunch.

I don’t like Rose. We’d never have guessed, I hear you cry. The reason I don’t like Billie’s character is because she’s a snivelling wimp. She didn’t bring “Doctor Who” into the 21st Century as many of her fans claim. She represents a huge step backwards in the emancipation of the female companion. Sophie Aldred was the step forward “Doctor Who” fandom should be acknowledging. Can you see pouty Billie knocking all hell out of a Dalek with a baseball bat? No companion had done that before and none have done it since!

Then, there was Donna. Another bloody housing estate chav! Couldn’t we have followed with someone to contrast the socially challenged Tylers? It doesn’t make television any more real wallowing in common. In fact, it gives nothing to aspire to. With Donna, gone were the teardrops of Rosie, it was in with the mouth and one slightly extended episode of her was just about enough, thank you very much.

Series Three, and in came a character training to be a Doctor. A proper one, you understand, studying for qualifications and everything! At last, someone for young girls to look up to. The trouble with Miss Jones was that Freema, though full of the kind of enthusiasm I find endearing, still sounded like a bloody chav. This was in no small way because of the writing. Take the title of this post, her last line in her last episode (of the last series), “Last of the Time Lords”… why couldn’t she have said, “I’ll see you again, Doctor”? Ace would’ve said, “I’ll see you again, Professor” which still contains a mark of respect. Mister sounds common, despite Freema’s attempt to give it a positive spin, and not like someone with the intelligence and staying power to spend seven years at University training to be a medic! It sounds like Donna. And it sounds like Rose. I can’t say it sounds like Astrid because she had no personality at all, worth speaking of!

Anyway, in the latest episode of the sci-fi spin-off that is “Torchwood”, nice Jim Robinson (off of “Neighbours”!) turns nasty and straps the shapely Miss Martha to an operating table in order to have his wicked way with her, lucky fella! Whatever next? Well, he gets even madder with the interfering do-gooders and sees red after pointing a shotgun at Owen!!

Smashed

Dan Starkey is to play new “Doctor Who” companion Mister Potato Head, although in the script he goes by the name of Commander Skorr. That’s him, looking rather butch and just a teensy weenie bit mean, second from the right between Freema and David. I bet Joan Collins, as the Rani, won’t have shoulder pads in his size before regenerating into a younger, more virile, model! Mister Potato Head is, of course, a Sontaran and, together with the Doctor, will fend off evil alien menaces such as Martha Jones, with her prim white coat and unwanted advances, and dastardly Donna Noble, just plain pain and mouthy with it! Catherine Tate, nearly 40, who plays the delightful Donna, has reportedly had problems with her boobs, bouncing in a rather undignified fashion whilst fleeing various encounters of a singularly unnatural kind. Look at it this way, dear… When you are interviewed on the GMTV sofa, next spring, at least you and Lorraine Kelly will have something to talk about!! What an unsightly pair they’ll make, so early in the morning.

I can’t say I think much of the costume. The one in “The Two Doctors” was better…

…While Peri showed off her pins in a rather fetching pair of light-blue shorts trimmed with an orangey-red belt, Donna seems to be sporting an extraordinarily dull-looking set of grey flannels or, as the Americans would call them, PANTS! Oh, you thought I was talking about the Sontaran’s outfit. Yeah, that’s naff too!! As you can probably tell, I’m really looking forward to the next series of my favourite show (of all-time) with more anticipation than ever before. It looks like being very scary stuff indeed. Viewers may actually switch off from the sheer terror of it all. Having seen the pre-emptive publicity pictures, the discerning viewer might not even switch it on in the first place… if they know what’s good for them! Skorr blimey, Guv’nor!!

Pistols at Dawn!

I don’t believe this… Where’s Freema?!! Why isn’t she on the cover of the “Doctor Who” series three DVD box set with David? I was quite surprised to see how prominently John Simm features on the series three volume four DVD cover, out next month, but at least there’s a glimpse of Martha between John and David’s ears! She’s nowhere to be seen on the front of the complete series and yet she is in all thirteen episodes. John was in but three, two and a bit if you’re feeling generous! This really takes the biscuit!! I can clearly remember an interview in which an excited Freema exclaimed how cool it was that she would be appearing on the cover of a “Doctor Who” box set and now, after all her hard work, she has been denied the privilege. I feel disappointed for her so goodness only knows how she feels about it? I suppose it’s a case of don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. She’s still working for RTD… She began recording her three episodes of “Torchwood” last Tuesday and will, of course, be returning to “Doctor Who”, albeit in a diminished capacity. Ain’t this girl miffed or is she just gonna take the money and run? I don’t think anybody’s been treated this poorly on the programme since Colin Baker was sacked!

I suppose the reasoning behind the box set cover is that Simm is a better known face than Freema’s and thus likely to sell more copies. But, that theory doesn’t really hold water when you consider Freema has just featured heavily on TV every Saturday evening for thirteen weeks. And, more people watch “Doctor Who” than “Life on Mars”! Billie featured on the cover of two box sets and so I think Freema has been cheated out of something rightfully hers. There’s something slightly insidious about new “Doctor Who”. You can bet your bottom dollar Russell Tiberius Davies had plenty of input regarding the sleeve pictures! It makes no difference to whether or not I’ll be buying the set though. I’d already decided not to. I bought the recent Dalek episodes (don’t laugh!) because I love the Daleks, am a fan of Miranda Raison, and didn’t object to “42” as much as some, despite the gaping plot contrivances. First time I purchased one of the vanilla releases! I’m also going to get the current release as, to be honest, “Human Nature”, “The Family of Blood”, and “Blink” are pretty much all the discerning fan needs! These two discs avoid all episodes written by Russell, avoids Catherine Tate and the needless violence of Simm’s Master, but, unfortunately, it also means going without the second of Graeme Harper’s episodes featuring the wonderful Sir Derek Jacobi. I bought the Eccleston series, probably only because it came with extra discount, and was given series two for Christmas but, regarding series three, I would prefer to spend the money on “The Key to Time”. Even though it isn’t my favourite Tom Baker series, I still think it is better value for money and, more importantly, immensely more entertaining. I don’t own any of classic series sixteen, in any format, whereas I recorded every episode of the recent run. I guess we ought to be grateful Catherine Tate doesn’t feature on the front cover of the series three box set. They’re keeping that back for next year!

Out for a Duck!

The release of the third DVD volume, from series three of new “Doctor Who”, gives me an opportunity to say a little more on the subject of Steven Moffat’s episode “Blink”. I had high hopes of this story, before it transmitted, and in the first thirty seconds or so the atmosphere created boded well. Unfortunately, as soon as Sally Sparrow peeled back the wallpaper, I knew the writing was on the wall! Yes, it captured David Tennant’s Doctor, without him even being there, but boy did it quickly undermine the mood of the piece. I am, of course, referring to the words “Duck, no really, duck”!! The story was spoiled before it had barely begun. Reading the line made me cringe because, reasonably, no one would bother to write a warning that crass. I wonder whether or not it was in Moffat’s script or if Russell T Davies added it during production. My next gripe followed hot on the heels of the first. I question that the Doctor would conclude his message “Love from the Doctor”. It is established in the opening two-part story on this disc, “Human Nature” and “The Family of Blood”, that the Doctor has to actually become human in order to understand the very concept of love. For this reason, I don’t think he would’ve used the word “love” and, as he did, I would very much like to know what he meant by it? It does suggest that there is little communication amongst the writing staff of the programme when a single, very important, word directly contradicts what has immediately gone before. I wanted “Blink” to be terrifying but already it had descended into the usual realm of playing silly buggers.

“Blink” repeatedly plays the same card, removing the possibility of building up any tension, by undermining what narrative there is with infantile humour. There’s the scene in which Larry Nightingale stands naked before Sally, covering his essentials with his hands, much to the embarrassment of his sister Kathy! For a moment, I thought I was watching “Torchwood” as I vaguely remember a scene in which Gwen Cooper also apologises, this time for her boyfriend’s awkward lack of apparel. Fine for the target audience of the spin-off series but is it really “Doctor Who”? And, having done it once, couldn’t the team come up with something new? Or, is that the level to which their mindset is immovably fixed? Completely at odds with the knowing (hey, here’s a penis gag in “Doctor Who”) wink to the viewer is the Doctor’s so-called “Timey-Wimey” device. This contraption is thus named so that all the three-year-olds watching this supposedly-adult horror story can also join in the fun. Any self-respecting “Doctor Who” fan ought to be inwardly-squirming in mortification by this stage, rooted to the spot much like one of the Weeping Angel statues in the story itself! Everybody raved about this episode because it was written by Mr Moffat and he is the newly-crowned God of “Doctor Who”. It should’ve been him wafting across the set, angel-like, in “Last of the Time Lords”, not David Tennant. Yet, despite all my criticism, and though it doesn’t say much for the rest of the series, I would agree that “Blink” is still the best of the bunch! That may have far more to do with the “gorgeous girl” at the heart of the narrative than the actual writing itself!! And, that’s not to say the episode was totally bereft of good lines, my favourite being “Sad is the thinking person’s happy”… because, whatever the emotional consequence, the thinking person always acknowledges the truth.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

The final episode of the third series of new “Doctor Who”, “Last of the Time Lords”, opened really distastefully to my way of thinking! There are ways of showing that the Master is a nasty piece of work other than mistreating the elderly. This is exactly what I meant when I said, in a previous post, that the series has no dignity. Verbally rude, in calling the Doctor “Gramps”, pushing the wheelchair carelessly away, in which the aged Time Lord is seated, and, worst of all, actually punching him in the face just isn’t the kind of imagery anyone in their right mind would want a ten-year-old to see. Brian Clemens had a good philosophy, when producing “The Avengers”, in that you never see a man hit a woman in any episode of that series! And, bear in mind, Steed and co was aimed at adults. Children, on the other hand, are easily influenced. What is Russell T Davies thinking of in, essentially, advocating disrespect. I really do wonder, now, how many of our young will think it’s alright to treat people in this manner. Pointing a fantasy device at someone is fine because everyone knows it’s a toy you can buy in any supermarket for a tenner but thumping the invalided Doctor was so at odds with the respect shown to war-veteran Tim at the end of “The Family of Blood”. A consistent series-policy would be nice before work begins on the next season! Thank goodness “wife” Lucy disposed of this ghastly incarnation of the Master before he degenerated even further!!

And, speaking of the lovely Lucy, I presume it was she who retrieved the Master’s signet ring from his funeral pyre at the end of the story. My first thought was that it might be Kylie Minogue but the red fingernails possibly suggest otherwise. No doubt the pop-singer is more likely to be a passenger aboard the R.M.S. Titanic considering the ridiculous cliff-hanger. The Doctor’s dialogue was almost identical, upon the unsinkable, on its maiden voyage, breaching his ship, to that of a year ago when ice-maiden Donna also made her presence felt in an equally ham-fisted way! I guess we’re all on a “Voyage of the Damned” following this show!! Apparently, Toclafane is French for “Fool the fan” but RTD must think we’re all halfwits if he honestly believes there was much that pulled the wool over our eyes. I guessed from the season’s outset that Freema’s contract was for one year only. I will put my hands up and admit I didn’t see the revelation coming of Jack and Boe being one and the same!! So, we know when, where and how the Captain dies. Thus, any forthcoming drama in series two of “Torchwood”, pertaining to his character, has dissipated even before its inception. I’ll also admit that after series two of “Doctor Who”, last year, I was in two minds as to whether or not I should watch the third, even more so after “The Runaway Bride”. I was never of such a negative frame of mind, regarding the Time Lord’s travels, at any time during the JNT era, throughout the Eighties. I tuned in, this year, in the hope that the removal of Rose and her baggage might improve the programme. Series three has been more even than the last. No tremendous high of “The Impossible Planet” and “The Satan Pit” immediately followed by the desperation of “Love & Monsters” and “Fear Her”! But, essentially, it’s still more of the same and I don’t think the series will radically alter even once the Executive Producer has left at the end of the next series. The BBC will still want more of the same. Unfortunately.

I’ve read critiques in which Russell T Davies has been favourably likened to Terry Nation, and Steven Moffat hailed as the new Robert Holmes! Terry wrote some rubbish, it’s true, and Robert’s early efforts, together with the material he wrote when he was ill, aren’t masterpieces either!! But, RTD has yet to produce anything approaching Nation’s first two Dalek serials and “Genesis of the Daleks”, or even “Planet of the Daleks” for that matter, whilst Moffat can only dream of competing with “The Talons of Weng-Chiang” and “The Caves of Androzani”. Good writing is where it’s at but the writing in the revamped “Doctor Who” has been consistently lacking. The internal logic of the “Human Nature” serial was no better or worse than that of the “Daleks in Manhattan” two-parter. At least the Daleks’ evolution didn’t collapse until the second episode whereas I felt fobbed off halfway through the opening episode of Cornell’s story. I enjoyed both but was disappointed by both as well. Graeme Harper’s direction made “42” watchable, even tense, but the slightest analysis of the story’s logic and it melts to ash, to dust, to nothingness. One can’t argue that if there was more time the writing would be better because the writers of the classic series managed with a similar time-allowance. It might be that there are more scenes to write now because it is mistakenly believed that TV drama has to move at a faster pace, than it once did, in order to compete with cinema blockbusters. But, this forgets the intimacy of the small screen medium, replacing the character development and creativity of idea of yesteryear with the empty spectacle that is this next generation of “Doctor Who”.

To Serve Them All My Days

Season three of new “Doctor Who” reaches its middle two-part story, that portion of a series, previously established initially with “The Empty Child” and latterly with “The Impossible Planet”, containing most substance! This year seems to be no exception judging from the opening episode, “Human Nature”. It’s a more interesting and complex tale than writer Paul Cornell’s previous offering two years ago, in the opening season’s “Father’s Day”, which I enjoyed on first viewing but disliked thereafter. “Human Nature” actually predates that Christopher Eccleston episode, originally appearing as a Seventh Doctor novel in the mid-Nineties, now updated by its original author to accommodate the current Doctor and latest companion. Speaking of Martha, and as I indicated in a comment posted on Old Cheeser’s blog before the recent report published in “The Sun”, I’m beginning to wonder if she will survive beyond this season? I haven’t heard that she’s had her contract renewed for next year! And, I’m pondering whether or not Kylie Minogue might fill the part of stopgap-companion, as did Catherine Tate, in the forthcoming Christmas special?

As good as “Human Nature” undoubtedly is, there’s one gaping plot hole that occurred to me on second viewing. Why on earth was something as important as the Doctor’s fob watch left lying about on the mantelpiece for all to peruse? It’s quite possible the Doctor as John Smith would open it himself, having no recollection of its function. Or, maybe Joan might’ve become curious and taken a peek. It’s essentially a homing device for the Family of Blood, for goodness sake, and would’ve surely been better concealed, undisturbed, on Martha’s person! As it is, my namesake Tim is the one who eventually unlocks the device which could bring about the possible demise of the man he has hitherto regarded as his teacher. The Family need to trace the Doctor in order to extend their own lives beyond a month. Regarding the Scarecrows, do any fans of the original series find their lollop reminiscent of the Marshmen in “Full Circle”?!! And, finally, what is it with the current production team and wedding dresses?!! Two dummies, wearing them, attack Jackie in “Rose”. Then, two weddings feature in “Father’s Day”. Last December, Catherine Tate donned one, appropriately enough, in “The Runaway Bride”! And, next week, Joan will appear in one in the concluding episode, “The Family of Blood”!! Stay tuned…

Burn Baby Burn

Former “EastEnders” star Michelle Collins tells “BBC Breakfast” about working on the latest “Doctor Who” adventure “42”, illustrated by a further two preview clips! At this rate, I’ll soon have the entire episode posted!! You can see all 42 minutes of “42” tonight at 7.15pm on BBC One!!!

Next Time is the Best Time

This is the next time trailer for “42” which would have appeared at the end of “The Lazarus Experiment” had it not been replaced by the coming up sequence purportedly created to carry fans over the one week hiatus! I wonder which ending will find its way onto the DVD release, the one shown or this one, as originally intended?

Both Eyes Burning!

This short extract from “42”, lasting just over three-quarters of a minute, was shown at the end of the most recent edition of “Totally Doctor Who”. Designed to give you the collywobbles, it is slightly undermined by Martha’s mobile conversation with her Mother in which Elvis appears to be a password! It suggests the Doctor has tweaked his new companion’s phone, the way he did Rose’s in “The End of the World”!! Hopefully, this won’t dominate the episode but tension and claustrophobia will!!!

The Heat is On…

This excerpt from “42”, running a little over a minute and a quarter and starting eighteen seconds into the clip, was shown during an interview with David Tennant on “Parkinson” and broadcast later the same evening as “The Lazarus Experiment”. The sequence certainly sends a chill down the spine as Martha becomes irrevocably separated from the Doctor! I thought it better than anything seen in the complete episode aired earlier that night!! I’m not biased or anything but “42” is directed by Graeme Harper!!!

Turn Back Time

The latest episode of “Doctor Who”, “The Lazarus Experiment”, seemed to take its ideas from just about every horror film ever made so, not surprisingly, failed to come up with anything new! Everybody was dressed very smartly, no doubt reusing the tuxedos from last year’s “Rise of the Cybermen” as well as the Sycorax’s big red button from “The Christmas Invasion”, but it couldn’t disguise the derivative nature of the story. David Cronenberg’s remake of “The Fly” starring Jeff Goldblum; “The Quatermass Experiment”; one of the films chosen in my previous post, “Lifeforce”; the conclusion of Tim Burton’s take on “Batman” which itself referenced Charles Laughton in “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”; these were just a few of the sources from which “The Lazarus Experiment” borrowed. It even plagiarised “Doctor Who” itself for its resolution! As recently as “The Runaway Bride”, in fact, amplified sound has been used to defeat an enemy. But before overcoming Santas last Christmas, the Doctor, in his second incarnation, defeated seaweed creatures through amplifying companion Victoria’s scream in “Fury from the Deep”!

“Fury from the Deep” happens to be my all-time favourite “Doctor Who” story but it has a lot to answer for! It was the tale which introduced the sonic screwdriver but in Victor Pemberton’s story was actually used to sonically undo the screws of a gas pipeline, believe it or not, and wasn’t the multi-multi-purpose gadget it has become in new “Who”. I’ve never been keen on K-9’s use as a cure-all in the latter Tom Baker seasons but I don’t recall the computer dog ever being as overused as the sonic screwdriver is now. I recommend rewatching “Gridlock” in order to count the number of times the Doctor gets it out and puts it away when moving between vehicles! Then there’s the psychic paper, used again last week in “Evolution of the Daleks”, which is another gimmick too far. Ever heard of getting into a building using a fake pass, a much more plausible method of achieving the same result in a story? But, when the Doctor whipped out his sonic thingy in the confined space of the Professor’s machine, this week, and Martha asked him what he was going to do with it, I was ready with a few suggestions!

I believe Russell achieved another first with “Lazarus”, too, but I may be wrong. Has the Doctor ever had sisters as companions for a story before, I wonder? He could go one further and try twins next! How about the Cheeky Girls? They have experience, so to speak, in the pop world to commend them, just like our very own Lil Bill, so they must be good!! Anyway, it was strange how, in “Smith and Jones”, Tish didn’t even mention her new job to Martha and yet they are supposed to be really close! And, also in the girls’ debut story, how did Tish manage to get so much time off work to go visit her sister at the hospital, then spend the evening celebrating brother Leo’s birthday, when just twelve hours later, as specifically mentioned in the current story, she is supposed to be organising Richard Lazarus’s demonstration!!! Can’t they even get continuity right within a single season? And, finally, to add insult to injury, the possibility of the Doctor one day meeting Beethoven was discarded with a cheap throwaway line when there is a really good story waiting to be written about the pair of them!