Adventures of a lifetime

And so the final episode of The Sarah Jane Adventures was transmitted on Tuesday afternoon at 5.15pm on the CBBC channel. Part Two of The Man Who Never Was completed the curtailed run of the Fifth Season. There was talk that the series might continue without its leading lady. It’s happened before. Blake’s 7 survived, after the departure of Gareth Thomas, as did Taggart, on the death of Mark McManus. But the BBC finally took the opportunity to pull the plug. Credit to Russell T Davies, who fought hard to keep the show on air when it was threatened with cancellation earlier in its life. I believe the BBC took some persuading to make the show in the first place. Bringing back a character, popular in the Seventies, to front a programme aimed primarily at twelve to fourteen-year-olds doesn’t seem like an obvious choice! But it seemed to work, though, in real life, one would no doubt question the motives of a sixty-year-old woman hanging out with a bunch of school children, even if some of the children in question did look as though they were in their early twenties themselves! Yasmin Paige, as Maria Jackson, and then Anjli Mohindra, as Rani Chandra, certainly gave the adventures in which they appeared that additional bounce! But The Sarah Jane Adventures belonged to the late Elisabeth Sladen and, in the present economic climate, it is unlikely we shall see its kind again in the foreseeable future.

It’s a shame really. Programmes such as The Sarah Jane Adventures were commonplace once upon a time. Everyone took them for granted. ITV were always trying to create a winning formula with which they could rival Doctor Who in the mid-to-late Sixties and throughout the Seventies. For the most part, they were as successful. The obvious examples are the string, no pun intended, of hugely popular-to-this-day Gerry Anderson puppet series. They began in the Fifties, of course, but took off when Gerry and then-wife Sylvia turned their hands to science fiction. Supercar, Fireball XL5, Stingray, Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet And The Mysterons, Joe 90 and The Secret Service were all hugely exciting. Live action series were equally as popular. Sexton Blake, Freewheelers, Timeslip, Ace Of Wands and The Tomorrow People all left their mark, as did UFO and Space: 1999 when the Andersons put Supermarionation behind them. Peter Davison’s first acting role was in The Tomorrow People, up against the very series he would eventually helm! We’ve seen their like since. The Demon Headmaster and Moondial were two such. Ironically, other than Sarah Jane, the last were Dark Season and Century Falls in the early Nineties, both excellently written by Russell T Davies. Children are being sold short without such fantasy stimulation, and televisual creativity will suffer further because of the demise of this genre!

Let’s Stick Together

When it comes to relationships, television - and the BBC in particular - is obsessed with two diametrically opposite aspects. One was laboriously regurgitated, for the umpteenth time, in last week’s seventh episode of Torchwood: Miracle Day. Russell T Davies has his agenda, which he will doggedly pursue to the end of days, that isn’t helping his cause, either as writer or in terms of sexual orientation, in any way whatsoever. Eighties’ Doctor Who producer John Nathan-Turner was homosexual but didn’t insist on forcing it down our throats, if you’ll pardon the expression, at every available opportunity! All RTD is doing is, metaphorically, boring the pants off everyone by carping on about it and, yes, I know the episode in question wasn’t actually written by him! And, yes, I’m fully aware the instalment was authored by a woman! Similarly, the BBC’s other preoccupation, concerning affairs of the human heart, is about to be foisted upon us, yet again, in a dramatisation of the recent Royal Wedding. Ex-Spooks actor, and one of the many stars of the superlative BBC adaptation of Dickens’ Little Dorrit, Matthew Macfadyen will play heir to the throne HRH Prince William. Ex-EastEnder, though still a Bionic Woman in my eyes, Michelle Ryan will slip into the shoes, if not the smaller brassiere, of Kate Middleton while Rowan Atkinson, assuming he has made a full recovery from his recent motoring accident, will once again attend the Royal Court… this time as best man Prince Harry!!

Alright! It’s a tissue of lies. I made it all up! The BBC aren’t spending any more of the licence payers’ hard-earned reminding us how certain wealthy sectors of the population choose to overindulge. The Royal Wedding reputedly cost fifty-three million pounds which makes the five million smackers that Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone spent on his daughter Petra’s nuptials seem like chicken feed. I do think spending £4,000 per bottle of wine is obscene though. Apparently, both Fergies were there! The ex-Royal, who wasn’t invited to the Royal Wedding, and the female member of Vengaboys sound-alike pop combo The Black Eyed Peas. Stacey and the boys were paid a whopping one-and-a-half million to perform whereas Sarah was the one who could’ve probably done with the cash. Instead, she had to make do with emulating her eldest daughter’s performance at the earlier bash by turning up in another silly hat… presumably! Even the rather feisty Mels, in this week’s opening episode of Doctor Who, lied (or did she?) claiming not to “do” weddings when we all know the series, and its two spin-offs, is obsessed with them. I won’t bore you all to buggery by recounting every single occasion we’ve seen a white meringue in the last seven years. If, in the series finale, the Daleks unexpectedly trundle through the vestry door, and gatecrash The Wedding Of River Song crying ex-ter-mi-nate, then it’ll all have been worth the wait!

The Television Set

“Heartbeat” returns on Sunday evening for its final run of nine episodes to conclude its twenty-four part eighteenth series. Have no fear, this isn’t a post about to sing the praises of this easy-going show. Its demise has prompted Alison Graham, on page 51 of this week’s Radio Times, to claim that “the era of the long-running television drama is over”. In her conclusion she goes on to suggest that “maybe even “Doctor Who” should call it a day after another couple of series - there’s nothing like going out on a high”. I don’t actually think “Doctor Who” has reached anywhere near its full potential and could continue as long as there is the imagination and creativity to invent “new worlds and new civilisations”, to borrow a popular American slogan! Is Ms Graham suggesting that television drama, from here on, will become totally transient? I enjoy series with returning characters. It’s one of the reasons I prefer television to cinema.

What exactly constitutes long-running? I’ve often thought, in the back of my mind, if a series makes it to its seventh year then that show is a commercial success. Other folk may have different ideas. There are no hard and fast rules. American seasons have greater episode counts than their British counterparts. “Medium” is about to enter its seventh year of production, and seems to alternate between sixteen and twenty-two episode runs. It has reached the benchmark set by most of the series in the “Star Trek” franchise! Were “Doctor Who” to finish at the end of Matt Smith’s three-year run then Russell T Davies’s baby would achieve approximately the same. It would be a mistake for Alison Graham to assume that “Doctor Who” has been running since 1963. It was as good as off-air from the end of 1989 to early 2005. It was given a long rest and this new interpretation is but five years old. That’s not to say it won’t be rested again, when ratings eventually fall, only to be reincarnated again another day.

I’m not even sure I would’ve resurrected “Doctor Who” in the first place. It suggests a lack of new concepts and ideas where once there was an abundance. “Doctor Who” was a happy memory and RTD’s vision tainted it for me. I was forgiving when the original series presented weak stories where, now, I’m relentlessly unforgiving. Perhaps it’s because I’m older, more critical, cynical, and probably less accepting of writing that falls short. I’m a loyal personality, though, and will stand by the programme through hell and high water! I remember Alison Graham being a fan of “The Cops”, a short-lived, relentlessly grim, police drama. That appeals to one type of viewer while “Heartbeat” appeals to those who find pleasure in stories about something other than drugs and prostitution! Live and let live!! And, now that Nikki Sanderson has taken off Dawn Bellamy’s mini-skirt for the last time maybe the actress should consider joining the cast of “Doctor Who” before it’s too late!!!

Return of the Rani!

The names of the six new narratives comprising Series Four of “The Sarah Jane Adventures”, as usual running over twelve episodes, have been detailed as follows…

4.1 & 4.2 “The Nightmare Man”
by Joseph Lidster

4.3 & 4.4 “The Vault of Secrets”
by Phil Ford

4.5 & 4.6 “Death of the Doctor”
by Russell T Davies

4.7 & 4.8 “The Empty Planet”
by Gareth Roberts

4.9 & 4.10 “Lost in Time”
by Rupert Laight

4.11 & 4.12 “Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith”
by Gareth Roberts & Clayton Hickman

The series is expected to be the biggest and best yet (don’t they always say that?), due to the support from CBBC, and hosts some brand new villains including The Nightmare Man, The Dark Horde, Men in Black, Tudors and Nazis!

Julian Bleach, who appeared in “Doctor Who” as Davros, two years ago, and previously played The Ghostmaker in “Torchwood”, guest stars in the opening story of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” as The Nightmare Man. This new character is rumoured to be his scariest villain to date (again, don’t they always say that?)!! Will Julian be the only actor to have appeared in all three titles?

Chris talks about Who exit

Actor Christopher Eccleston quit “Doctor Who” after one series because he “didn’t enjoy the environment and the culture” of the show.

Eccleston, who is about to star in BBC Four biopic “Lennon Naked”, took on the role of the Time Lord when Russell T Davies revamped “Doctor Who” in 2005.

He told the Radio Times he was proud of the show but “wasn’t comfortable” working on it.

“I think it’s more important to be your own man than be successful, so I left.” Rumours, at the time, suggested Chris had had a huge falling out with one of the directors!

Christopher Eccleston has also said he has no jealousy towards his former “Our Friends in the North” co-star Daniel Craig, who made it big as James Bond.

Eccleston said: “No, really there wasn’t. You wouldn’t cast me as Bond physically. The sexual charisma that Dan has was a huge part of it.

“And I’m a different animal. I saw him on those billboards and it was a great feeling.

“I was an obsessive Bond fan as a kid. I loved the Sean Connery Bond and Dan is just as good. Fantastic.”

Eccleston will next be seen on TV playing John Lennon, whom he called a showman, but a cripple inside. “Torchwood” and “Absolutely Fabulous” actress Naoko Mori, whom Chris has worked with previously on the “Doctor Who” episode “Aliens of London”, features as Yoko Ono.

Elsewhere, “Doctor Who” star Karen Gillan has hit back at the “uproar” over her character Amy Pond’s sexy clothing - saying feminism was not the issue any more.

Gillan said Amy did not conform to a simple “girl next door” formula - and her short skirts were typical of what young women like to wear (no contradiction there then, Karen).

The 22-year-old told the Radio Times Amy was a “strong female” who would not stand around in awe of the Doctor.

She said the relationship between Amy and the Doctor was one of equals - and she liked the fact that Amy was the one who sometimes drove the plot with her own storylines.

Warden’s Watch: Doctor Who - Series Five, Episodes One to Three

It’s “Doctor Who”, Tim, but not as we know it! The much-loved science fiction fairy tale is back and it’s still as beleaguered with problems as under its previous show-runner. On the plus side, gone are the gratuitous references to homosexuality which Russell T Davies forced upon his audience every episode - John Nathan-Turner was gay too, but didn’t see the series as the place to air a personal agenda - and, better still, gone are all the companions’ annoyingly-grating mothers. Rose, Donna, Martha - they all came with one! It’s already established, in “The Eleventh Hour”, that Amy’s parents are dead and that she lives with her aunt. We’ve never had that before in “Doctor Who”! I was also hoping new Executive Producer Steven Moffat would drop the season-umbrella idea, so poorly realised previously with Bad Wolf, Torchwood and Saxon, and keep the stories self-contained. But the crack in the wall in the first episode and again this week, at the end of “Victory of the Daleks”, coupled with Amy’s lack of memory concerning the events of “The Stolen Earth” suggest these ideas are the running themes of Series Five.

Upon his arrival, Mister Moffat indicated a desire for all things new. New Doctor, new short-skirted rather than trouser-wearing companion, ghastly new opening titles in which the actors names are almost unreadable, terribly uninspired new logo, the worst arrangement of the theme tune ever, new - better than the last one - TARDIS console room, new lick of paint for the old Police Box, and now five new impressively-oversized individually-coloured Daleks! But all these things are cosmetic. It doesn’t really matter that much which actor plays the Doctor, ask Tom Baker! What you really need are superbly-written scripts and both “The Beast Below” and the Dalek extravaganza were too short for their good ideas to be fully realised. We’ve been landed with the same format, ten stories over thirteen episodes, when we’d be better off with just six stories over those same thirteen instalments. The classic series’ four-parters were ideal in length, structured a bit like a traditional symphony. If you want superficial then forty minutes is fine but, if you’re looking for substantial, one hour forty minutes is preferable. There was never any need for this change in format when the programme originally returned in 2005. The one thing they should’ve retained they threw out with the bath water!

The “new” Executive Producer has held onto those blessed stallholders much beloved of RTD. We met them in “The Long Game”, we met them in “Gridlock”, we met them in “The Fires of Pompeii” and again in “Turn Left”, and up they popped most recently onboard the Starship UK. These villains return more often than the Daleks! The stallholder, one of many ideas “borrowed” from the JN-T era, was better realised by Peggy Mount in “The Greatest Show in the Galaxy”. Then there’s the obligatory gunk-tank, splattering all and sundry, firstly whenever there’s a Slitheen around, next getting messy in the canteen kitchen in “School Reunion”, and now hurtling down a tube into slime onboard, yes you’ve guessed it, the Starship UK! And where are the Doctor’s table manners? Compare the Tenth Doctor’s eating habits in “The Unicorn and the Wasp” with those of his successor in “The Eleventh Hour”. Both very very mucky!!! I did admire how writer Mark Gatiss managed to cram all three best things from Christopher Eccleston’s single year into a single episode, namely an historical figure, new-look Dalek and Blitz-ravaged London. Churchill was fun, the pepper pots buggered off too quickly and the Second World War setting always works in “Doctor Who”… just watch “The Curse of Fenric”!

aRTy without the Drivel!

The beauty of a “Doctor Who” Radio Times cover is that you can admire the visual without having to listen to what passes for a script in this day and age, not unlike watching Girls Aloud or the Sugababes on television with the sound switched off!

The opening couple of minutes of “The Next Doctor”, seen twice on “Children in Need”, showed exactly where Russell’s mind is at, regarding a possible future incarnation of the lead character… and I’m talking about the Doctor, not his companion! The next Doctor’s few lines of dialogue were enough to present its audience with an identikit version of the current incumbent of the TARDIS.

I believed David Morrissey would make an interestingly swarthy Doctor, well before I knew he’d been cast in this year’s Christmas Special. When I saw him as Colonel Brandon in “Sense and Sensibility”, at the very beginning of the year, I thought there’s your man!

But, folks, like Mr. Morrissey’s immediate predecessor and his predecessor before him (that’s Chris Eccleston, if you’ve lost me!) Morrissey’s Doctor is incorrigibly rude and very up his own bottom!! RTD’s Doctors will always be characterised thus so it doesn’t really matter who the eleventh Doctor will be…

More pertinent a question is whether or not the style of writing will change radically under a new leadership, if indeed there really is a new man at the helm of “Doctor Who”. Russell, it seems, is holding onto the reigns of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” which also refuses to move forward following the introduction of… yawn… a new family. Pretty as Rani is, she has yet to make her mark!

I’m ever hopeful “The Next Doctor” will surprise me. I know David Morrissey is simply playing what’s written, and following orders like John Simm before him, but I’m praying the new arrival will still shine, despite!

Three reasons to look forward to the “Doctor Who” Christmas Special include David Morrissey, the return of the Cybermen (even despite their bastardisation, it’s about time a familiar foe was featured in a festive instalment), and the fact that part of the story was filmed in College Green in my hometown.

If I Were Davros…

It’s no secret that under Russell T. Davies I’ve found “Doctor Who” to be severely lacking! Whereas “Fury from the Deep”, a six-part story from the late Sixties, carries an inspiring ecological subtext about the dangers of not replenishing the Earth’s natural resources upon bleeding them dry, modern “Doctor Who” appears to be about nothing in particular except sitting on your arse all day watching the telly on a council estate! No wonder I feel cheated!! If I wanted to watch the latter, I could tune into crap like “EastEnders” or open the back door. I want to watch the former served up as a metaphor featuring weed creatures rising up out of the sea to take their revenge with the aid of poison gas exhaling humans. I want terror not soap. So, if I was about to inherit the mantle of show runner instead of Steven Moffat, how would I go about correcting the numerous mistakes made over the last four series? How would I make “Doctor Who”? What would I do if I had the power, if I were Davros…

The first change I would make to “Doctor Who” is in doing away with the single episode story. They do not give enough time for character or plot development and have all but removed the all-important cliff-hanger from the programme. At present, each season gives the viewer ten stories over thirteen episodes. Keeping the thirteen forty-five minute episode format, I would reduce the number of stories to six, five two-parters would be followed by a concluding three-part season finale. This would also be more cost effective in that you are reducing the number of opening nights by four. Jon Pertwee’s producer Barry Letts was very aware of how best to utilise the budget over a full season.

My next major change would be to do away with the season arc. Under Russell, we’ve had Bad Wolf, Torchwood, Saxon and, most recently, the return of Rose. Without exception, all failures. Each of my six stories would be self-contained, with no linking devices. Trying to keep your audience hooked Russell’s way is doomed to failure if the final episode fails to deliver. Give your public half-a-dozen strongly written, well executed, stories, excitingly concluded, so they’ll want to return for more instead of trying to twist their arm into staying with the programme only to receive a smack in the face like the Doctor at the hands of the parody Master in “Last of the Time Lords”!

Another important change would be to do away with companion’s families. I’m sick to death of the Doctor touching base every other week, at his latest travelling partner’s domicile. It’s alright to start off with an assistant’s familial attachments, such as when Peri was introduced in “Planet of Fire”, but to keep revisiting home turf is way too safe for a series originally steeped in fear and terror. What a shame they didn’t lop off the final fifteen minutes of the concluding episode, this year, and keep it to forty-five minutes, rather than allowing the writer’s excessive over-indulgence. Reign it in, edit, do away with superfluous material. Get rid of the baggage!

One Doctor, one companion. Throughout. No regenerations unless the lead is moving on. If you promise a death, deliver! Russell promised in Season’s Two and Four and went back on his word. Rose didn’t die in battle, unfortunately, and Donna had her memory all-too-conveniently wiped! Absolutely no reset buttons, in any way, shape or form!! I would choose a different writer for each story and, if possible, none would have written for the series before. I wouldn’t insist on writing the finale myself but would like to have a stab at one of the adventures! I’ve no objection to returning monsters, the Ice Warriors - as depicted in their black and white episodes - would be welcome, and wouldn’t insist on naming new ones myself, as Russell did the Ood. I’m pretty certain Verity Lambert didn’t insist Terry Nation call his creations the Daleks!! I think the writer came up with the name all on his lonesome.

So, there you have it. My six-story plan for the next season of “Doctor Who”! I fear it may be too late to give me the job!!

Re-Make/Re-Model

Television seems to milk drama series for all they are worth, these days, literally capitalising on the success of any given parent show. Just look at “Doctor Who”! Running alongside the mother series, there’s “Doctor Who Confidential”, “Totally Doctor Who” (which seems to have dematerialised this year), “Torchwood”, “Torchwood Declassified” and “The Sarah Jane Adventures”… and all from a show which is itself a remake, not an original idea as it was back in 1963. To me, this burgeoning industry doesn’t suggest imagination is alive and kicking in the new millennium! Storytelling, at least in this visual medium, has become stale.

The “creator” of this “Doctor Who” retread (I’m sure you all know his name by now!) has the audacity to claim there was never any golden age of television! If that’s the case, why have the BBC just celebrated forty years of “Dad’s Army”? Hearty congratulations to the Walmington-On-Sea platoon of the Home Guard! “Little Britain” will, hopefully, be forgotten long before it reaches such a landmark. But, why will the chief writer of the Time Lord’s soap opera adventures have spent the best part of a decade, by the time he moves on from his exalted position as show runner, bringing the series back into the public eye if it doesn’t hail from a much-loved era? It’s not a particularly creative move for a supposedly talented writer. The answer is, of course, money.

The present executive producer of “Doctor Who” has, undoubtedly, made enough cash to ensure he can now go off and write whatever he wants and not have to worry whether or not any new project will recoup its investment. Never mind having destroyed a national institution to arrive at that enviable position. The common view is that he has revived the science fiction series rather than completely bent it out of shape! Other than a fat paycheque, why remodel an old show? What would’ve been wrong in having the self-confidence to invent something dazzlingly new, thus proving his worth beyond any doubt, rather than disastrously distorting a glorious twenty-six year history? “Doctor Who”, with one or two small exceptions, would’ve been better left alone, untarnished.

Telly Visions: Kristen Bell

“Heroes” seems to have the knack of casting attractive female leads. It’s better at it than, say, the revamped “Doctor Who”! Ouch!! But, it’s true. The obvious names to mention, regarding the American show, are Hayden Panettiere and Ali Larter. And, I’ve already discussed Nora Zehetner and Katie Carr in previous posts. For me, I’m sorry to say, Billie Piper will always be the female forerunner of Lil’ Chris! Although, admittedly, the Swindon lass is nowhere near as cringe worthy and tedious as that pint-sized pin brain. I can imagine Russell T. Davies mistakenly casting him, in the role of companion, had the executive producer stayed on with the Brit series. And, that would’ve been a fate worse than Adric!

The latest sex kitten on the “Heroes” block is Kristen Bell, playing cunning little vixen Elle Bishop, introduced during Season Two, and I’m pleased to see she’s to continue into the next season. I was already aware of the actress from “Veronica Mars”, which I’d wanted to see but have only recently started watching. Kristen played the title role for three seasons before it was cancelled due to poor viewing figures. Joss Whedon, best known as creator and lead writer of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, praised the writing standard of “Veronica Mars” and the pilot episode is certainly a clever little construct.

Following the cancellation of “Veronica Mars”, Kristen voiced an interest in appearing in “Heroes”, because she was a fan prior to being cast. She’s also friends with future Mr. Spock Zachary Quinto (Sylar), as well as Hayden, which no doubt wasn’t going to go against her! For my money though, Kristen has a far more interesting face than her cheerleader co-star. That’s not to say I don’t like Hayden. I do. But, Kristen is just that little bit more quirky. It was Ms. Bell’s aspect that had me interested in “Veronica Mars” in the first place! Here’s hoping “Volume Three: Villains”, of “Heroes”, will be saved by the Bell!!

Warden’s Watch: Journey’s End

Disappointment set in right from the outset of the concluding episode of the Fourth Season of Russell T. Davies’s reincarnation of “Doctor Who”. I wanted the writer to go through with the regeneration and have a brand new Doctor conclude a story begun by his predecessor. But, it wasn’t to be. In fact, instead of having no David Tennant, we were actually presented with two of the pesky fella! And, there was me wishfully thinking he was about to get another week off!! It’s not that I dislike the actor, just not overly keen on his portrayal of the character, although I’ve grown to accept it a little more over the recent series. As if to compound my dissatisfaction with the opening of the final instalment, up pops Rose’s Mum, Jackie. Lovely woman and all that, just not my cup of tea. Very convenient, too, that both Rose’s ex, Mickey, and Mrs Tyler should appear, out of the blue, armed to the teeth, guns aimed directly at the two Daleks about to exterminate the suddenly-rather-fragile Sarah Jane Smith. The suddenly-rather-comely Gwen Cooper was also saved by something hitherto unmentioned that the late Toshiko had been working on before her death. Altogether, too convenient. At least, in the case of the Doctor, the resolution of his part in the previous episode’s triple cliff-hanger had been properly set up, that the hand would have its part to play in the denouement of the adventure. The other two instances were cheats, like a whodunit in which the murderer is revealed to be someone who hasn’t appeared in the story until the moment of revelation! It’s not the first time “Doctor Who” has resolved certain demise with the Saturday morning cinema serial approach. 1985’s “The Mark of the Rani” immediately springs to mind, in which a character is inserted into the recap, at the start of the final part, rushing out of a wood to save the seemingly doomed Doctor from the clutches of dastardly death!

Just imagine how different the episode might’ve been had a new dynamic been set up by suddenly, and surprisingly, introducing us to the eleventh Doctor. It would have taken the story, and indeed the series, in a completely new and much welcomed change of direction. I suppose Russell wasn’t ready to do that just yet and, instead, presented the viewer with the ultimate tease. A simple rule of drama is the tighter you tighten the tension, when the balloon is burst, it’s more than likely to be something of a let down. Davies made it hard for the story to recover from this point in and, sadly, it didn’t. Robert Holmes turned down the offer to write “The Five Doctors”, in 1983, citing too many leading men as the reason. And, despite there being plenty of space, the console room of the TARDIS became overcrowded in “Journey’s End” through the writer’s inability to resist this shameless get-together. Because of this, the participation of Davros is restricted. The scientific schemer doesn’t reappear, after last week’s reintroduction following an absence from our screens of almost twenty years, until nearly twenty minutes into the extended second half of the story and is despatched approximately twenty-five minutes later with still over fifteen minutes to run. Yes, on second viewing, I was watching the clock. A whopping twenty-five percent of the final episode is taken up with tearful farewells, making it even more soppy than the gushing conclusion of “Doomsday”, two years ago. On the plus side, Julian Bleach was terrific as Davros and, maybe, deserved more air time considering the iconic stature of the character within the series. Unless you believe less is more which, in just about every other aspect of the production, wasn’t the case. The other standout performance, and not just here but throughout the entire Fourth Season, was that of Bernard Cribbins, a consistently strong character. I like him. I could’ve done with a little more of Eve Myles in her red sweater, too, but that’s a personal preference rather than a dramatic one! Like the two Peter Cushing movies of the Sixties, this was good Dalek material whilst being lousy “Doctor Who”.

Warden’s Watch: The Stolen Earth

Julian Bleach, as the fourth actor to portray Davros, is possibly the best piece of villainous casting in “Doctor Who” since Christopher Gable donned mask as Sharaz Jek in “The Caves of Androzani”, way back in 1984, and certainly the most full-blooded commitment to an adversarial role since Nabil Shaban’s Sil. What a contrast to John Simm’s ridiculously childish portrayal of the Master last year. It’s a little unfortunate the audience has had to wait so long for a performance of this quality but I knew Julian would be near-perfect from the moment I saw him as the Ghostmaker in the “Torchwood” episode “From Out of the Rain”. And, judging from the trailer for the final instalment, the sixty-five minute “Journey’s End”, it looks as though Davros is about to become even more maniacal! Not quite sure what he’s going to do once he’s destroyed every last atom, when there’s nothing left over which to have dominion, but it all sounds like tremendously good fun once you put logic to one side!! It was inevitable diehard fans would claim Mr. Bleach not as good as original Dalek creator Michael Wisher and it’s a fair comment, since the earlier performance set the benchmark just as Hartnell did the Doctor. I enjoy Terry Molloy’s portrayal of Davros just as much, especially in “Revelation of the Daleks”. His trademark cackle has switched characters, now, and Nick Briggs turned in a good vocal performance, in “The Stolen Earth”, especially as demented Dalek Caan. It’s interesting to note that virtually the entire Kaled race are now verging on complete insanity. Makes for entertaining viewing on a Saturday night, eminently preferable to the equally barking Graham Norton on quest to find himself a Nancy.

I thought it a little unnecessary, in the presence of so many characters, to explain the absence in the latest episode of other regular cast members, from both the mother show and spin-offs. Especially when the explanations were so weak. Gwen told Rhys to stay indoors for goodness sake, when there is a bloody great Dalek Invasion of Earth taking place. Considering his participation during some of the Season Two episodes of “Torchwood”, hardly likely. Sarah Jane told her son not to do anything as she headed off to find the Doctor. Why not put such a brainy child to good use? And where was she off to, exactly, in her car for said meeting with the Time Lord? Why didn’t Sarah just mow down the two Daleks in her path rather than braking? That part of the triple cliff-hanger came across as contrived, not the fault of actress Elisabeth Sladen or director Graeme Harper but writer Russell T. Davies. Eve Myles was the real revelation, here, showing guts and determination as Gwen, futilely opening fire upon the Daleks in the face of doubtless annihilation. Some have likened Rose to Sarah Connor in the “Terminator” series but I saw little evidence of it in Billie Piper’s performance other than manhandling a large weapon! Gwen was the one with the balls and she carried it off rather stylishly. She looked fetching whilst screaming defiance, too, not an easy feat to accomplish in but a few seconds. And, finally, there was the start of a regeneration for the present Doctor. David Morrissey is playing the “other” Doctor in the forthcoming Christmas Special so are we about to be introduced to him an episode earlier than expected? Can’t wait to find out…

Warden’s Watch: Midnight

I found myself groaning as the latest episode of “Doctor Who”, named after the planet “Midnight”, began in the usual comedy-laden style of Russell T. Davies but, by its conclusion, realised I had been thoroughly gripped. In a bizarre twist of the pen, episode ten was much more terrifying than the preceding two-parter by Steven Moffat, which I admired more than enjoyed. While Moffat’s adventure was experimental in nature, RTD’s story was more a case of horror by the book, though none the worse because of that. Once it got past its silliness, “Midnight” became thoroughly scary. In fact, the throwaway lightness of the opening moments only served to heighten the horror once it kicked in. Possession is always a reliable storyteller… with no need for monsters so obviously human in rubber suits. What you can’t see is often more frightening than what you can because once something is visible you can make an assessment as how, best, to deal with it.

I’ve always found Lesley Sharp to be a reliably good actress. In this week’s episode of “Doctor Who”, she played her role, as being under the influence of an unknown alien entity, for all she was worth. She didn’t look down on the show as, somehow, being dramatically inferior. Even Rusty in his writing capacity, obliged to let us know Sky was a lesbian, didn’t manage to ruin it for Lesley with his too often-repeated personal agenda! David Troughton, also, sustained a good performance as Professor Hobbes, even giving those of us with long televisual memories welcome hints of his “A Very Peculiar Practice” character, Doctor Bob Buzzard! Loved it when he shook hands with the Doctor. It was like the ghost of his dad, Patrick, greeting the present incarnation… though Troughton junior’s been in the show in his own right of course, notably as King Peladon, during the run of his father’s successor.

Much of the pre-publicity for “Midnight” focused on Lindsey Coulson because we’re all supposed to know who she is from “EastEnders”. But, not being a watcher of soaps, the BBC’s presumption was lost on me! Having looked it up, I’m able to inform those of you in a similar position to myself that she played somebody called Carol Jackson!! And, naturally, that leaves us all none the wiser!!! I was more interested in one of her co-stars. The production team seems to have developed a penchant, this year, for actresses with the Christian name Ayesha. “Planet of the Ood” featured Ayesha Dharker as Solana Mercurio and, now, “Midnight” introduced us to gorgeous “Grange Hill” actress Ayesha Antoine as the Professor’s put-upon prodigy Dee Dee Blasco. Curious how the younger characters in this story were shown as smarter than their elders. Older folk are not necessarily immune to new ideas!

Unlike Miss Dharker in the earlier episode this season, Miss Antoine survived to the end of the current story which, in itself, makes a refreshing change. Not everyone lived in Russell’s latest, a contentious issue since the conclusion of Moffat’s overly-optimistic recent opus. “Midnight” saw the demise of all three crew members together with the possessed passenger, the ship’s hostess taking the latter in a moment of self-sacrifice. The suggestion the hostess knew the Doctor wasn’t human was a nice touch, though I’m sure there will be those wanting an answer as to how she knew rather than just enjoying the joke. Rose appeared briefly again, still in a state of distress, unseen by the Doctor who had his back to the monitor on which she appeared to call his name. Next week, we’ll be able to see Billie Piper in full, so to speak, but the Doctor will have to wait that little bit longer…

Beginnings

It was terrific to see “Doctor Who” back on BBC television, early Saturday evening! Engaging, through the sincerity of its performances, suspenseful, in that you really didn’t know in what direction the tale was going to turn, and full of hidden terrors, in the shadows flickering across a seemingly deserted and unknown terrain. Whatever dangers are to be faced, it doesn’t help any companion if they don’t feel able to trust the Doctor! He makes up excuses to have his own way, oblivious to the hazards in which he may be placing them, allowing curiosity to get the better of him. Unrushed, with time to slowly build the narrative, to dwell upon ideas to consider their implications, the story places the TARDIS crew in considerable peril. What is the object found on the forest floor outside the ship - a bomb? Who has left it there and what is its purpose? Who can be relied upon - the Thals? Who is to be believed - “The Daleks”?

How unfortunate for Russell T Davies, supposedly the saviour of British television drama, that his latest offering should premiere on the same night as a welcome, and long overdue, repeat of a serial representing a master class in economically effective writing! And, written by a supposed hack!! Almost immediately, Terry Nation has the explorers fall ill, succumbing to radiation sickness, and just as they encounter the conniving inhabitants of Skaro for the very first time. But, the mysterious old man, leading the crew, is equally devious - disastrously to the travellers’ detriment… One of their number, a science teacher, is paralysed from the waist down. They are all imprisoned inside an alien city, forced to lay a trap against those who have befriended them, while the youngest has to face her fear and journey again amongst the petrified trees, alone, to fetch drugs to combat their deteriorating and debilitating condition. Will “The Daleks” allow the Doctor, Susan, Ian and Barbara to use the medicine or do the exterminators want it for themselves?

“Doctor Who” Series Four - Campfire Trailer, Episode Titles and Authors

01. “Partners in Crime” by Russell T Davies
02. “The Fires of Pompeii” by James Moran
03. “Planet of the Ood” by Keith Temple
04. “The Sontaran Stratagem” by Helen Raynor
05. “The Poison Sky” by Helen Raynor
06. “The Doctor’s Daughter” by Stephen Greenhorn
07. “The Unicorn and the Wasp” by Gareth Roberts
08. “Silence in the Library” by Steven Moffat
09. “Forest of the Dead” by Steven Moffat
10. “Midnight” by Russell T Davies
11. “Turn Left” by Russell T Davies
12. (This title is being kept under wraps, for the moment, probably because it includes the word Daleks!) by Russell T Davies
13. “Journey’s End” by Russell T Davies

The Triumph of The Daleks

It’s impossible not to see the irony that while the present Executive Producer of “Doctor Who”, Russell T Davies, criticises the 6.20pm time slot allotted the new series’ first episode, on BBC One on April 5, the original Terry Nation serial introducing “The Daleks”, starring William Hartnell in the second-ever “Doctor Who” story, will begin a very rare repeat run on BBC Four later the same evening, as part of the “Verity Lambert Tribute Night”, at the more sensible time of 8.30pm! I can understand how RTD feels about the earlier transmission of “Partners in Crime” and agree with him that the show may possibly lose many viewers as a result. Shop assistants, for example, of which Rose was one, don’t finish work until 5.30pm and it seems very unlikely they’ll be able to immediately head for home. Had “Doctor Who” retained the 7pm position in the schedules, of recent years, there can be no doubt there would definitely be more bums in front of the telly. Having said that, the later showing of the 1963/4 serial does actually represent a minor victory for the classic series. All seven episodes were originally broadcast on BBC One at the even earlier start time of 5.15pm and the show somehow managed to survive rather well in spite of it! In fact, it was during the transmission of the first four episodes of “The Daleks” that “Doctor Who” really entered the public consciousness. The last three are slightly disappointing, insomuch as they are padded out to fit the running time, but only in comparison to the brilliance of the first half. Had Rusty’s opening gambit been on later, as he hoped, with the possibility of a clash between new and old “Doctor Who”, I know which story I would choose! Call me cynical but maybe Russell knows the new series is rubbish and is already trying to shift the blame before the whole Catherine Tate casting travesty comes crashing down on his head!! “Daleks conquer and destroy”, indeed!!!

“Doctor Who” Series Four - Trailer and Teasers

Well, the trailer and no less than three teasers, promoting the fourth new series of “Doctor Who”, have aired. Visually, they are impressive, to say the least. No doubt everyone has seen them by now! My favourite shot, from the main minute-and-a-half cinema preview, is of the miniscule TARDIS with exiting travellers set against the rocky alien snowscape with the Saturn-like planet at an angle on the horizon. And, least favourite is the Doctor behaving like he always does, with his blessed sonic screwdriver, whizzing in and out of shot like an idiot! I hate to say it but Donna actually seems more self-controlled than her mentor in this sequence, though I do hope she is calling Bernard Cribbins “gramps” because he is her grandfather and not just because of his age. Russell T Davies doesn’t need to discriminate against the elderly in order to increase his ratings! Donna trying to engage the Doctor’s attention through a porthole is excruciatingly reminiscent of a similar scene with Martha in last season’s “42”. I like the shot of the Noble one being menaced by a giant wasp in her bedroom! Looks as though she could be in for more than a little prick! I notice, in another shot, Donna is behind bars and, some might say, that’s the best place for her!! Of the three ten-second teasers, each featuring a returning monster, my preference is for the Dalek promo. Despite its extreme brevity, it’s beautifully shot and I love the reflection of the Doctor’s face captured in the creature’s eyestalk.

Time and Time Lord

So, what can we expect from the new series of “Doctor Who”? Well, as we all know from recent debate, the delightful Catherine is returning to our screens reprising her role of Donna throughout all thirteen episodes. Moving on… and, perhaps more importantly, David Tennant is back for his third run of episodes although it is heavily rumoured to be his last. Some like him, some don’t. I don’t mind the actor but I’m not particularly keen on the way he plays the part. I suspect that is, in no small way, partly due to executive producer Russell T. Davies. It’s rumoured the current show runner will soon be moving on to pastures new as well. To my way of thinking, that can only be a good thing, both for him, creatively, but also for the programme. New blood will bring, hopefully, new ideas. Meantime, Series Four promises a repeat of exactly the same season structure we’ve endured for the past three years. Three multi-part stories and single-episode adventures for the rest with, yet again, the lone intelligent tale looking like being the middle two-parter entitled “Silence in the Library”, and (naturally) written by Steven Moffat!

The finale sees the return of the Daleks, not seen since - oh, let me think - last year, but they haven’t been seen in the closing episodes for - oh, let me think, again - two years. Bring them back quickly, I say, after the complete mess of “Last of the Time Lords”. It was so bad I’ve actually stopped taping the show, for the first time since I possessed a VCR. Shame, really, because the seven minutes or so of the “Children in Need” episode wasn’t that bad thanks to Steven Moffat’s reasonably witty script, but largely due to the return of Sir Peter Davison! Anyway, there’s a slight difference this time round. With the Daleks comes Davros, fictional creator of the creatures from Skaro. He was first seen in “Doctor Who” in 1975 in “Genesis of the Daleks” but his whereabouts have been undisclosed since 1988 when he bowed out with a brief appearance at the climax of “Remembrance of the Daleks”, having appeared in five consecutive Dalek stories. Davros has been located by Caan, last survivor of the Dalek race (yawn), and he is helping the Dalek to create a new race of Daleks. In a shock development in the final episode, a Dalek casing opens to reveal Harriet Jones, played by Penelope Wilton, the mother of all the new Daleks.

Before the Daleks re-emergence, a couple of other old favourites are due for an outing. Those awfully nice Ood chappies will be back in episode three, which is good news except for the Doctor, presumably. I like them, about the only thing in Rusty’s re-imagining I do like! I still don’t understand why RTD thought it was his job to name them. Surely that was the prerogative of the fellow who wrote “The Impossible Planet” and ”The Satan Pit”? Did Verity Lambert tell Terry Nation to call his creation the Daleks?!! I don’t think so! Immediately after “Planet of the Ood”, we will be treated to “The Sontaran Stratagem”, the first of the two-parters, which features the return of the Ice Warriors - I wish! Actually, there’s several monsters I would’ve preferred to see returning rather than the Sontarans… Zarbi, Mechonoids, Yeti, Silurians, Sea Devils to name a few. The Sontarans have previously featured four times in the classic series to varying degrees of success and one wonders if they will also be pitted against the Daleks, at the end of the series, as were the Cybermen two years ago - such is Russell’s love of formulaic television.

The TARDIS really travels abroad this year for a fleeting visit to Rome in episode two, “The Fires of Pompeii”. Sorry, Steve, but I doubt they’ll bump into Frankie Howerd, or the lovely Erotica would’ve been even fruitier! And, the time travellers encounter Agatha Christie in episode seven, “The Unicorn and the Wasp”. Together, they investigate a strange murder. Now, there’s a surprise! Rose is in the last four episodes, Martha’s back, Jack’s back, Sarah Jane is back, I’m back, and we get to meet the Doctor’s daughter in episode six. Is she original companion Susan Foreman’s mum? I just love mothers in new “Doctor Who”! And that reminds me, Jackie’s back!! How could I forget and what could be better?!! In the picture, that’s not the Doctor’s new costume, by the way, despite it being in burgundy! That’s what David wore to Billie’s wedding. The new series starts in, precisely, two weeks time on Saturday, April 5 on BBC One, hour to be confirmed though presumably around 7pm. Meanwhile, if you can’t wait or you’re curious, or both, you can see the trailer tonight, for the first time, again on BBC One at 7.05pm or online straight after. The surgery is open and it’s sooner than you think!

Stardust

I was really hoping for good things from “Voyage of the Damned”, the third successive “Doctor Who” Christmas Special. It couldn’t be any worse than last year’s “The Runaway Bride”, if only for the sole reason that Catherine Tate isn’t in the new episode! I tried to convince myself that, despite it being written by Russell T. Davies, the compensation would come from no less than four quality guest actors. Three of them, Geoffrey Palmer, George Costigan and Bernard Cribbins, I felt were sadly underused while, although good, Clive Swift was better as Mister Jobel in “Revelation of the Daleks”. This wasn’t the actor’s fault but the writer’s. Eric Saward, although heavily lambasted at the time, wrote much better “Doctor Who” stories than does the current head writer. And, producer Phil Collinson set himself up for a fall in a recent online interview with SFX magazine. The interviewer suggested the plot outline of “Voyage of the Damned” was not dissimilar to that of “Delta and the Bannermen” to which Phil replied that his latest production was better. It wasn’t. Interestingly, both stories are the same length but the twenty-year-old “Delta and the Bannermen” is both faster and funnier, more entertaining and even more exciting! The Heavenly Hosts featured in the current story, for example, were highly derivative; Angel masks replacing Santa ones from the two previous Christmas Specials!! They aped the mannerisms of the Ood and it felt, at times, as though we were either back on board the space liner Hyperion III, from the “Terror of the Vervoids” segment of “The Trial of a Time Lord”, or the massive sandminer vehicle which features in “The Robots of Death”. And, seafaring ships in space is, of course, an idea pinched from “Enlightenment”!

I find both Russell T. Davies and Phil Collinson to be more than a little immature and it comes across through the writing and production but, if you need further proof, rewatch the “Doctor Who Confidential” episode that accompanies “Time Crash”. In that same programme you’ll find Steven Moffat and Graeme Harper acquit themselves with far more credibility. Russell recently claimed that the production team can’t afford to make a poor episode, with over eight million viewers watching their every move, and yet the last two years have produced the worst four episodes (“Love & Monsters”, “Fear Her”, “The Runaway Bride”, “Last of the Time Lords”) in the entire history of the series. Even David Tennant seemed shocked by Russell’s recent offensive and insensitive remark that Hitler would’ve made a good Doctor! Huh?!! Davies isn’t even particularly good at bullshitting it seems!!! As was the case with the guest actors, I didn’t think there was enough of guest-companion Kylie Minogue, as Astrid Peth, in the story either. Kylie’s waitress never got to see inside the TARDIS. She was sacrificially-abandoned, along with other characters before her, well before the end; which only served to highlight the inadequacies of the script’s structure. Ironic that there’s an Aussie actress in the show, now the programme is based in Cardiff, when “Delta and the Bannermen” had a real Welsh guest-companion in Ray played by Sara Griffiths (pictured on the back of a Vincent motorcycle with seventh Doctor Sylvester McCoy)! The moments of self-sacrifice in “Voyage of the Damned”, together with Mister Copper’s closing contemplations, were good, however, in what, otherwise, left me with that sinking feeling!!

High Five!

If you missed the mini-episode of “Doctor Who” during “Children in Need” on Friday, or would just like to see it again, here’s an easy way to view the programme. It holds up well under repeated viewing. As well as “Time Crash” itself, I’ve also included the accompanying “Confidential” documentary for the complete experience!