Let’s Stick Together

When it comes to relationships, television - and the BBC in particular - is obsessed with two diametrically opposite aspects. One was laboriously regurgitated, for the umpteenth time, in last week’s seventh episode of Torchwood: Miracle Day. Russell T Davies has his agenda, which he will doggedly pursue to the end of days, that isn’t helping his cause, either as writer or in terms of sexual orientation, in any way whatsoever. Eighties’ Doctor Who producer John Nathan-Turner was homosexual but didn’t insist on forcing it down our throats, if you’ll pardon the expression, at every available opportunity! All RTD is doing is, metaphorically, boring the pants off everyone by carping on about it and, yes, I know the episode in question wasn’t actually written by him! And, yes, I’m fully aware the instalment was authored by a woman! Similarly, the BBC’s other preoccupation, concerning affairs of the human heart, is about to be foisted upon us, yet again, in a dramatisation of the recent Royal Wedding. Ex-Spooks actor, and one of the many stars of the superlative BBC adaptation of Dickens’ Little Dorrit, Matthew Macfadyen will play heir to the throne HRH Prince William. Ex-EastEnder, though still a Bionic Woman in my eyes, Michelle Ryan will slip into the shoes, if not the smaller brassiere, of Kate Middleton while Rowan Atkinson, assuming he has made a full recovery from his recent motoring accident, will once again attend the Royal Court… this time as best man Prince Harry!!

Alright! It’s a tissue of lies. I made it all up! The BBC aren’t spending any more of the licence payers’ hard-earned reminding us how certain wealthy sectors of the population choose to overindulge. The Royal Wedding reputedly cost fifty-three million pounds which makes the five million smackers that Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone spent on his daughter Petra’s nuptials seem like chicken feed. I do think spending £4,000 per bottle of wine is obscene though. Apparently, both Fergies were there! The ex-Royal, who wasn’t invited to the Royal Wedding, and the female member of Vengaboys sound-alike pop combo The Black Eyed Peas. Stacey and the boys were paid a whopping one-and-a-half million to perform whereas Sarah was the one who could’ve probably done with the cash. Instead, she had to make do with emulating her eldest daughter’s performance at the earlier bash by turning up in another silly hat… presumably! Even the rather feisty Mels, in this week’s opening episode of Doctor Who, lied (or did she?) claiming not to “do” weddings when we all know the series, and its two spin-offs, is obsessed with them. I won’t bore you all to buggery by recounting every single occasion we’ve seen a white meringue in the last seven years. If, in the series finale, the Daleks unexpectedly trundle through the vestry door, and gatecrash The Wedding Of River Song crying ex-ter-mi-nate, then it’ll all have been worth the wait!

Return of the Rani!

The names of the six new narratives comprising Series Four of “The Sarah Jane Adventures”, as usual running over twelve episodes, have been detailed as follows…

4.1 & 4.2 “The Nightmare Man”
by Joseph Lidster

4.3 & 4.4 “The Vault of Secrets”
by Phil Ford

4.5 & 4.6 “Death of the Doctor”
by Russell T Davies

4.7 & 4.8 “The Empty Planet”
by Gareth Roberts

4.9 & 4.10 “Lost in Time”
by Rupert Laight

4.11 & 4.12 “Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith”
by Gareth Roberts & Clayton Hickman

The series is expected to be the biggest and best yet (don’t they always say that?), due to the support from CBBC, and hosts some brand new villains including The Nightmare Man, The Dark Horde, Men in Black, Tudors and Nazis!

Julian Bleach, who appeared in “Doctor Who” as Davros, two years ago, and previously played The Ghostmaker in “Torchwood”, guest stars in the opening story of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” as The Nightmare Man. This new character is rumoured to be his scariest villain to date (again, don’t they always say that?)!! Will Julian be the only actor to have appeared in all three titles?

Chris talks about Who exit

Actor Christopher Eccleston quit “Doctor Who” after one series because he “didn’t enjoy the environment and the culture” of the show.

Eccleston, who is about to star in BBC Four biopic “Lennon Naked”, took on the role of the Time Lord when Russell T Davies revamped “Doctor Who” in 2005.

He told the Radio Times he was proud of the show but “wasn’t comfortable” working on it.

“I think it’s more important to be your own man than be successful, so I left.” Rumours, at the time, suggested Chris had had a huge falling out with one of the directors!

Christopher Eccleston has also said he has no jealousy towards his former “Our Friends in the North” co-star Daniel Craig, who made it big as James Bond.

Eccleston said: “No, really there wasn’t. You wouldn’t cast me as Bond physically. The sexual charisma that Dan has was a huge part of it.

“And I’m a different animal. I saw him on those billboards and it was a great feeling.

“I was an obsessive Bond fan as a kid. I loved the Sean Connery Bond and Dan is just as good. Fantastic.”

Eccleston will next be seen on TV playing John Lennon, whom he called a showman, but a cripple inside. “Torchwood” and “Absolutely Fabulous” actress Naoko Mori, whom Chris has worked with previously on the “Doctor Who” episode “Aliens of London”, features as Yoko Ono.

Elsewhere, “Doctor Who” star Karen Gillan has hit back at the “uproar” over her character Amy Pond’s sexy clothing - saying feminism was not the issue any more.

Gillan said Amy did not conform to a simple “girl next door” formula - and her short skirts were typical of what young women like to wear (no contradiction there then, Karen).

The 22-year-old told the Radio Times Amy was a “strong female” who would not stand around in awe of the Doctor.

She said the relationship between Amy and the Doctor was one of equals - and she liked the fact that Amy was the one who sometimes drove the plot with her own storylines.

Warden’s Watch: Doctor Who - Series Five, Episodes Four to Six

The new series of “Doctor Who” continues to be a mix of the good and the downright awful! Episodes four and five, “The Time of Angels” and “Flesh and Stone”, attempt to develop ideas from two of Steven Moffat’s earlier stories, the Weeping Angel statues from Series Three’s “Blink” and Alex Kingston’s River Song from the two-part library story of the Fourth Series. I like the former, not so keen on the latter! All this “sweetie” nonsense, and continued reference to “spoilers”, is a bit cringe-making. For heaven’s sake, it was only in the previous story, “Victory of the Daleks”, that the Doctor called one of the pepper pots “sweetheart”! Despite liking the statues in the Carey Mulligan episode, I’m not so sure it was a good idea to bring them back. The new story seemed to virtually ignore the original concept of what happens to an Angel’s victims. Less importantly, but nonetheless irritatingly, the Doctor loses his jacket to one of the stone beasties, at one point, then, unseen by the viewer, somehow manages to retrieve his tweed threads by the end!

The best scene in the Fifth Series, so far, came in the second part of the Weeping Angel yarn. I’d go so far as to say it’s the best scene since Jefferson’s eulogy to Scooti Manista, four years ago, in “The Impossible Planet”. I’m talking about the marvellous dialogue between the Doctor and Father Octavian upon the latter’s demise. Genuinely moving. The trouble is, it is almost immediately undermined by the ending of “Flesh and Stone”. New “Doctor Who” does this a lot. It’s afraid to capitalise on truly emotional moments. What does Moffat do? He has new companion Amy come on to the Doctor in the most ludicrous manner. We’ve been there before. Russell did all that ad nauseam… for five blooming years! I’d hoped we’d put such crassness behind us. At first I thought it was padding because the story had under run again, like the Dalek episode two weeks earlier, but its dubious purpose is to set up a ménage à trois between the Doctor, Rory and Amy exploited during the sixth episode, “The Vampires of Venice”, written by Toby Whithouse - the man behind “Being Human”, the “Doctor Who” episode “School Reunion” and the “Torchwood” episode “Greeks Bearing Gifts”.

And what a flippant beginning to the much-awaited vampire tale. It would’ve been amusing in any other drama but “Doctor Who”. We’d already had Amy as a WPC kissagram, in the opening story of the series, and so we return to the idea with the Doctor replacing the stripper at Rory’s stag night! I was hoping for some genuine gothic horror, just for once, but “The Vampires of Venice” is undermined before it has barely begun. Why does the series try so hard to be domestic just to appeal to the “EastEnders” crowd? Why doesn’t it simply be itself? It managed it for twenty-six years. I don’t buy into the notion it had to change to appeal to a modern audience. Only if said audience lacks intelligence! (There is a current series does domestic brilliantly, by the way, even though it’s ostensibly a supernatural drama. I won’t reveal its name here as I hope to devote a future post to it.) The vampires themselves were terrific looking, as you can see from the above picture - a scene reminiscent of the Haemovores breaking in through a vestry window in “The Curse of Fenric”, while their two leaders were portrayed suitably seriously until being revealed, predictably pseudo-scientifically, as “fish from space”! “They bite”!!

Warden’s Watch: Bonekickers & Spooks: Code 9

The BBC doesn’t seem to be having much luck with some of its latest fantasy-drama output! I watched the first episode of “Bonekickers”, “Army of God”, on BBC One, and decided that, amongst its many faults, the series’ title is four letters too long!! I didn’t watch any more, not feeling the need to dig deeper into this illogical archaeological nonsense. I tuned in, in the first place, because “Bonekickers” is written and produced by the same team who brought us “Life on Mars”, and that series’ excellent sequel “Ashes to Ashes”. And, because Martha’s sister, from “Doctor Who”, is in it! I can only presume “Bonekickers” is an attempt to replicate “The Da Vinci Code” for television with a touch of “Indiana Jones” thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, it appeared ludicrous and, with the inclusion of a gratuitous decapitation of a Muslim, at the hands of ex-“EastEnders” actor Paul Nicholls, over the top… I believe a second series has already been commissioned!

Hot on the heels of the BBC One disaster, and switching to BBC Three, follows “Spooks: Code 9” which I haven’t really warmed to either, although, in this case, I have stayed with the series so far. That’s probably, solely, because Georgia Moffett plays one of the MI5 operatives! I am a fan of parent series “Spooks” and especially enjoyed its Fourth Season, when the show seemed to start all over again with renewed grit and determination. The spin-off killed one of its main characters in the opening episode, obviously inspired by the notorious demise of Lisa Faulkner’s character, Helen Flynn, in the second episode of the original. “Torchwood” had already copied “Spooks”, in killing off Susie, in its debut story so, by now, it’s all getting to be rather old hat. The remaining cast of hip young things with poor diction, in “Spooks: Code 9”, includes (from left to right) Andrew Knott as Rob, Georgia Moffett as Kylie, Heshima Thompson as Jez, Liam Boyle as Charlie, Ruta Gedmintas as Rachel and Chris Simpson as Vik… Only two more episodes to go, thank goodness!

Re-Make/Re-Model

Television seems to milk drama series for all they are worth, these days, literally capitalising on the success of any given parent show. Just look at “Doctor Who”! Running alongside the mother series, there’s “Doctor Who Confidential”, “Totally Doctor Who” (which seems to have dematerialised this year), “Torchwood”, “Torchwood Declassified” and “The Sarah Jane Adventures”… and all from a show which is itself a remake, not an original idea as it was back in 1963. To me, this burgeoning industry doesn’t suggest imagination is alive and kicking in the new millennium! Storytelling, at least in this visual medium, has become stale.

The “creator” of this “Doctor Who” retread (I’m sure you all know his name by now!) has the audacity to claim there was never any golden age of television! If that’s the case, why have the BBC just celebrated forty years of “Dad’s Army”? Hearty congratulations to the Walmington-On-Sea platoon of the Home Guard! “Little Britain” will, hopefully, be forgotten long before it reaches such a landmark. But, why will the chief writer of the Time Lord’s soap opera adventures have spent the best part of a decade, by the time he moves on from his exalted position as show runner, bringing the series back into the public eye if it doesn’t hail from a much-loved era? It’s not a particularly creative move for a supposedly talented writer. The answer is, of course, money.

The present executive producer of “Doctor Who” has, undoubtedly, made enough cash to ensure he can now go off and write whatever he wants and not have to worry whether or not any new project will recoup its investment. Never mind having destroyed a national institution to arrive at that enviable position. The common view is that he has revived the science fiction series rather than completely bent it out of shape! Other than a fat paycheque, why remodel an old show? What would’ve been wrong in having the self-confidence to invent something dazzlingly new, thus proving his worth beyond any doubt, rather than disastrously distorting a glorious twenty-six year history? “Doctor Who”, with one or two small exceptions, would’ve been better left alone, untarnished.

Warden’s Watch: The Stolen Earth

Julian Bleach, as the fourth actor to portray Davros, is possibly the best piece of villainous casting in “Doctor Who” since Christopher Gable donned mask as Sharaz Jek in “The Caves of Androzani”, way back in 1984, and certainly the most full-blooded commitment to an adversarial role since Nabil Shaban’s Sil. What a contrast to John Simm’s ridiculously childish portrayal of the Master last year. It’s a little unfortunate the audience has had to wait so long for a performance of this quality but I knew Julian would be near-perfect from the moment I saw him as the Ghostmaker in the “Torchwood” episode “From Out of the Rain”. And, judging from the trailer for the final instalment, the sixty-five minute “Journey’s End”, it looks as though Davros is about to become even more maniacal! Not quite sure what he’s going to do once he’s destroyed every last atom, when there’s nothing left over which to have dominion, but it all sounds like tremendously good fun once you put logic to one side!! It was inevitable diehard fans would claim Mr. Bleach not as good as original Dalek creator Michael Wisher and it’s a fair comment, since the earlier performance set the benchmark just as Hartnell did the Doctor. I enjoy Terry Molloy’s portrayal of Davros just as much, especially in “Revelation of the Daleks”. His trademark cackle has switched characters, now, and Nick Briggs turned in a good vocal performance, in “The Stolen Earth”, especially as demented Dalek Caan. It’s interesting to note that virtually the entire Kaled race are now verging on complete insanity. Makes for entertaining viewing on a Saturday night, eminently preferable to the equally barking Graham Norton on quest to find himself a Nancy.

I thought it a little unnecessary, in the presence of so many characters, to explain the absence in the latest episode of other regular cast members, from both the mother show and spin-offs. Especially when the explanations were so weak. Gwen told Rhys to stay indoors for goodness sake, when there is a bloody great Dalek Invasion of Earth taking place. Considering his participation during some of the Season Two episodes of “Torchwood”, hardly likely. Sarah Jane told her son not to do anything as she headed off to find the Doctor. Why not put such a brainy child to good use? And where was she off to, exactly, in her car for said meeting with the Time Lord? Why didn’t Sarah just mow down the two Daleks in her path rather than braking? That part of the triple cliff-hanger came across as contrived, not the fault of actress Elisabeth Sladen or director Graeme Harper but writer Russell T. Davies. Eve Myles was the real revelation, here, showing guts and determination as Gwen, futilely opening fire upon the Daleks in the face of doubtless annihilation. Some have likened Rose to Sarah Connor in the “Terminator” series but I saw little evidence of it in Billie Piper’s performance other than manhandling a large weapon! Gwen was the one with the balls and she carried it off rather stylishly. She looked fetching whilst screaming defiance, too, not an easy feat to accomplish in but a few seconds. And, finally, there was the start of a regeneration for the present Doctor. David Morrissey is playing the “other” Doctor in the forthcoming Christmas Special so are we about to be introduced to him an episode earlier than expected? Can’t wait to find out…

Fairground Attraction

Beckoning shadows of circus folk flashed across the walls within the Electro Cinema.

They stepped out of celluloid into a world of moisture and saliva. Two strange and eerie figures silhouetted in the half-light of a street lamp on a cold and rainy night in Chain Lane running parallel to Hope Street. The night travellers… leaving a trail of damage and sorrow wherever they perform. And always in the dead of night.

“Would you like a ticket for the travelling show, my dear?”, the Ghostmaker asked of a nervous, shivering, woman waiting for the late bus, “Every young person’s dream!”

“Perhaps she’d like to join the show instead?”, suggested the Ghostmaker’s shimmering female companion, tasting the dew clinging to their first victim’s hair.

“Why not?”, the Ghostmaker added, as though the thought had never crossed his mind, “You could travel with us… forever!!”

And, having selected a waitress as their second victim, the Ghostmaker’s accomplice proffered a peculiar request of her master, “Make her cry… I want to drink her tears!”

“From Out of the Rain” was wickedly acted by Julian Bleach and Camilla Power, malevolently directed by Jonathan Fox Bassett and sinisterly written by Peter J. Hammond.

“Come along now, ladies and gentlemen, the night won’t wait forever!”, touted the Ghostmaker, “Come and see the amazing Pearl. She lives in water. She sleeps among the waves. She can reach the bottom of the oceans. She has swum the seven seas. She is the nearest thing that you will ever see… to a living… mermaid. She… will… take your breath… away.”

“I’ll see you again, Mister!”

Martha Jones returned to our screens on Wednesday evening, at 9:50pm on BBC Three, in the sixth episode of Series Two of “Torchwood”. The first of Freema Agyeman’s three-story foray, into the dark and sinister underbelly of what passes for life in Cardiff, went by the name of “Reset”, a very appropriate title for an instalment of a series devised by Russell T. Davies! The number of episodes, in both “Doctor Who” and “Torchwood”, that could’ve adequately used that designation, I’ll leave for you to work out!! It was nice to see Freema back because, of all the companions to have appeared in “Doctor Who” since its return in 2005, she’s the one I like the best. That doesn’t mean I’m immensely fond of her, it simply means I can tolerate her more than the rest of the sorry bunch.

I don’t like Rose. We’d never have guessed, I hear you cry. The reason I don’t like Billie’s character is because she’s a snivelling wimp. She didn’t bring “Doctor Who” into the 21st Century as many of her fans claim. She represents a huge step backwards in the emancipation of the female companion. Sophie Aldred was the step forward “Doctor Who” fandom should be acknowledging. Can you see pouty Billie knocking all hell out of a Dalek with a baseball bat? No companion had done that before and none have done it since!

Then, there was Donna. Another bloody housing estate chav! Couldn’t we have followed with someone to contrast the socially challenged Tylers? It doesn’t make television any more real wallowing in common. In fact, it gives nothing to aspire to. With Donna, gone were the teardrops of Rosie, it was in with the mouth and one slightly extended episode of her was just about enough, thank you very much.

Series Three, and in came a character training to be a Doctor. A proper one, you understand, studying for qualifications and everything! At last, someone for young girls to look up to. The trouble with Miss Jones was that Freema, though full of the kind of enthusiasm I find endearing, still sounded like a bloody chav. This was in no small way because of the writing. Take the title of this post, her last line in her last episode (of the last series), “Last of the Time Lords”… why couldn’t she have said, “I’ll see you again, Doctor”? Ace would’ve said, “I’ll see you again, Professor” which still contains a mark of respect. Mister sounds common, despite Freema’s attempt to give it a positive spin, and not like someone with the intelligence and staying power to spend seven years at University training to be a medic! It sounds like Donna. And it sounds like Rose. I can’t say it sounds like Astrid because she had no personality at all, worth speaking of!

Anyway, in the latest episode of the sci-fi spin-off that is “Torchwood”, nice Jim Robinson (off of “Neighbours”!) turns nasty and straps the shapely Miss Martha to an operating table in order to have his wicked way with her, lucky fella! Whatever next? Well, he gets even madder with the interfering do-gooders and sees red after pointing a shotgun at Owen!!

Wooing Tosh

Go on, Owen, give her a kiss! You know you want to!! Why does the poor guy now find it so tough? Only a year or so ago he was deeply into the fuck-buddies thing. A few episodes later and he’s a big softie! Once the hard man, at least between his legs, Owen is now Mister Sensitive!!

Why didn’t Toshiko offer him a ride back to/at her place like she did that deaf, dumb and blind kid from 1918? Hasn’t she sensed Owen’s new found tenderness? Get it on, girl, and bang his gong!

And then there’s Jack and Ianto’s totally gratuitous homosexual kiss, no doubt justified by the producers as contrast. I’ve already heard that moment described as awesome. Can’t Americans, and even some English, find a different adjective to qualify something they like?

Anyway, it does seem as if the characters of “Torchwood” have all made personality U-turns. Not so long ago, Tosh was a les getting it on with Daniela Denby-Ashe in “Greeks Bearing Gifts”. Now she’s straight or if you argue that she’s bi doesn’t that beg the question as to why everyone swings both ways in this show? How ludicrous is that?!!

These essentially undefined characters shift, like those in a soap opera, to suit a given narrative rather than have the script work around the natures of the collective individuals. As story is all-important, the most interesting thing the writers could do, following “To the Last Man”, is have Toshiko pregnant with “Out of Time” Tommy’s love child!

Opening Gambits

Watching television in recent years, I’ve noticed a decline in the importance of the opening title sequence and accompanying theme tune. Take “Torchwood”, for example. Did I hear somebody reply, “I wish you would”?! It has a title sequence, listing the actors, but is very brief. And now “Heroes”. Shorter still, it imparts the show’s title and creator, Tim Kring. These two examples aren’t going to go down in the annals as anyone’s favourites. Maybe they just want to get on with the story. “Heroes” theme tune, in terms of length, is a far cry from other American series of the same genre. Look at all the “Star Trek” series, the opening title sequences of which all seem to go on forever, especially “Deep Space Nine” with its slow dirge-like fanfares. The cynic in me suggests the longer the opening melody the less material has to be produced before reaching the closing credits. Veering slightly off subject, BBC ONE never shows any closing titles for “Spooks”. I have no idea why? They made a big deal of it to begin with, as being a radical departure from the norm, but these credits do exist as they are shown on BBC THREE. That makes the BBC ONE transmissions of “Spooks” incomplete to my way of thinking, not remotely radical, but simply a thorn in the side of the completist!

Of course, you all know I’m going to cite the original version of the “Doctor Who” theme tune as one of the finest examples of the art of opening a show! Written by Ron Grainer and electronically realised by Delia Derbyshire, it knocks spots off the most recent, overblown and bloated, orchestral reinterpretation. The piece of music itself is actually quite thin when you analyse it. This is because, like early Roxy Music, there are no thirds in the accompanying chords. I’ve no doubt, however, that this was the intention as it’s one of the aspects that contribute to the underlying eeriness of the composition. One of the best matched of theme tunes to image is that of Gerry Anderson’s “UFO”. I have a feeling this is because the pictures were edited to Barry Gray’s piece of music rather than the music written to accompany the completed piece of film. Done the traditional way, of adding music to the final cut, would’ve been nigh impossible to synch in this instance. The pace of both music and image is remarkable. It’s commonly believed that television is faster today but just look at this particular sequence. The “UFO” opener holds up well and is, perhaps, only let down by numerous shots of ladies’ bottoms, undoubtedly now regarded as sexist in our politically correct world! I think it’s brilliant and not necessarily for the reasons you may now be thinking!! In the space of just over a minute, it cleverly introduces all the main characters, concepts and machines, telling a potted version of the story so that you know what to expect from each episode. They knew how to make television back in 1969!

Requiescat in Pace, John

I was saddened to hear that actor John Normington has passed away at the age of 70. He was one of those actors I was always pleased to see on television. His death will no doubt go unmentioned on the television news, which says more about what society reveres than it does the brilliance of John’s acting. Only last week, my Mum was watching an episode of “Agatha Christie’s Poirot” and I pointed him out to her. He was playing Colonel Clapperton in a story called “Problem at Sea”! By coincidence, I found a really nice picture of him yesterday evening in the role for which I, and every other fan of “Doctor Who”, will always remember him. He appeared in the series twice, as Trevor Sigma in the first episode of “The Happiness Patrol” supporting Sylvester McCoy’s Doctor, but it was as Trau Morgus, in the earlier Peter Davison story “The Caves of Androzani”, that he really stunned audiences in what is a truly superlative piece of work. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, in the Robert Holmes-written, Graeme Harper-directed, Roger Limb-composed masterpiece, John’s character is the embodiment of an ambitious, ruthless, corrupt politician best-remembered for turning to camera and exclaiming, “The spineless cretins”!

It was a pleasant surprise, last year, when John Normington popped up on our screens again playing a character called Tom Flanagan in “Ghost Machine”, the third episode of the “Doctor Who” spin-off “Torchwood”. Yes, it was only a small cameo, as a mild-mannered ageing evacuee gently interrogated by Eve Myles as Gwen Cooper, but he stole the episode, even from the excellent Gareth Thomas! Not only that, the warmth with which he imbued his scene made his one of the standout performances of the entire series. I’ve subsequently seen him as a District Judge in Lynda La Plante’s “Trial and Retribution XIV: Mirror Image” in which he was also excellent. One of his best-known film appearances was as Frank Lockwood the Solicitor in the 1984 adaptation of Alan Bennett’s “A Private Function” alongside a galaxy of fine actors including Michael Palin, Maggie Smith, Denholm Elliott, Richard Griffiths, Bill Paterson, Liz Smith, Alison Steadman, Jim Carter and Pete Postlethwaite. Ten years earlier, he appeared in my all-time favourite rock movie “Stardust” together with David Essex and Adam Faith. Although it may sound clichéd, I’ve never seen him give a bad performance even in a sub-standard production. I’ve only touched on his screen work and yet John was probably even more highly-regarded as a stage actor. Kevin Spacey, artistic director of the Old Vic, endearingly paid tribute in saying “They don’t make them like him anymore”! I agree. Mr Normington was an actor of rare quality.

The Gospel According to Charlotte Church!

Recently, when I saw the above pictures of Charlotte Church at the Pride of Britain Awards 2005, I thought how remarkably similar she looks to Eve Myles as Gwen Cooper in "Torchwood". It might have something to do with her fringe, or the make-up, or the fact that they're both from Wales! Perhaps there's a cloning operation going on in Cardiff about to be uncovered in the second series? Anyhow, below is a second gallery of the delectable - and doesn't she know it - Ms Church making a right Charlie of herself, in a nice way, in more-familiar skimpy attire!! And, my excuse, if I need one? Well, it's my birthday today and I decided I needed a treat!!!

New Year’s Greetings from the Grotto!

It’s been a strange couple of years in fantasy telly land! Mostly, I was disappointed with “Doctor Who”. Last year, it was just great to see it back and seemed like the usual mix of good and bad. I didn’t like the first two stories but enjoyed the Simon Callow episode and so on. As the initial season progressed, the blandness of style just seemed too all pervading but the anticipation had been so strong it took a while before realising that Russell T Davies is no Philip Hinchcliffe. I thought they reintroduced the Daleks in the wrong way, with only a single one, but with the benefit of hindsight “Dalek” is the strongest of the new Dalek episodes. En masse would’ve been better to claim new fans. And I was struck immediately by the quality of the direction in the opening of the Blitz two-parter. I still think “The Empty Child” is the best story from 2005 but I don’t think it’s as good as I initially thought whereas I like “Dalek” more than I did originally.

This year the only stand out story, for me, was “The Impossible Planet” which I wasn’t as struck with at first as after repeated viewing. It was the tiresome opening scene between the Doctor and Rose that threw me on first viewing. I had been optimistic. I thought Tennant would be good. Graeme Harper would be masterminding all the Cybermen episodes and yet I remember mentioning in a post my worry that his style would be homogenised. There are bits here and there. I would add the Queen Victoria episode to the list if it wasn’t for the feeble attempt at humour. I would add “School Reunion” had equal attention been paid to the alien part of the story. The real slump came after “The Satan Pit”. I think Marc Warren is a terrific actor, he’d even possibly make a better Doctor than Tennant (who, in turn, would make a good Adam Adamant) but “L&M” just wasn’t for me and neither was “Fear Her”. The kindest thing I can say about the Olympic fiasco was that the yellowy-orange t-shirt colour suited Billie! And, like the previous year’s two-part finale, I felt the first half was padding, leading the viewer up to the cliff-hanger, and the second carried by spectacle, the very thing the writer of these episodes claimed was less important than the quality of writing.

While “Doctor Who” morphed into an action adventure series, I held out hopes for spin-off “Torchwood”. Same team, same mess. It’s had its good episodes. I enjoyed “Greeks Bearing Gifts”, possibly for the wrong reasons, and “Out of Time” was terrific, definitely for the right reasons! I’ve posted a few rehearsal shots below, showing Burn looking flushed with success, to celebrate its singular quality. But “Countrycide” was appalling and “Combat” even worse. I hope the author of the latter is writing better scripts on alternate Earth! “TW” has been so uneven, it hasn’t helped the viewer delineate who the main characters are meant to be.

“Spooks” was also disappointing this year. Every episode of season five was essentially the same. It was still exciting, better executed than “DW”, but the main guest actor in each story, usually playing the top politician, was always in league with the terrorists! They brought in a new female lead instead of moving Miranda Raison centre stage. Her sense of wonderment in season four, especially when entering Thames House for the first time, was what Billie’s should’ve been on first seeing the inside of the TARDIS. Better guest actors last year too, Martine McCutcheon, Andrew Tiernan, Jeff Rawle - Plantagenet in “Frontios” and who I would cast as the Doctor, Nigel Terry, Douglas Hodge, George Baker, David Burke, Lindsay Duncan. All terrific.

I enjoyed “A for Andromeda” despite its critical mauling. The return of “Cracker” was ok but paled against repeats of the first two seasons on ITV3. Certain repeats have been good. Great to see “The Green Death”, “Spearhead from Space” and “The Ark in Space” on BBC4, even if they weren’t in their original format. “Space: 1999” and “UFO” were on ITV4 and I got to see “Strange Report” for the first time - a little gem. BBC4 ran a series of half-hour documentaries on cult telly including “Adam Adamant Lives!”, “Doomwatch”, “Star Cops”, “Survivors”, “Blake’s 7” and “The Tripods” but only featured whole episodes of the first two! And Christmas telly… well “Dracula” was good but not a patch on the earlier BBC version starring Louis Jourdan. In fact, the best thing about this Christmas was the trailers for “Dracula” which featured David Bowie’s “Warszawa”, from the album “Low”, accompanying the sequence of excerpts. Now that was spooky!

Well, let’s hope for better things in the New Year, which is only hours away. I’m ever optimistic. Sarah Jane kicks things off. Let’s hope they don’t manage to kill her off “properly” and I am looking forward to seeing Miranda Raison in “Doctor Who” though I would’ve chosen MyAnna Buring (Scooti), as the new companion, over Freema Agyeman. Hope you all have a good one and see you on the other side of “The Midnight Hour”…

Here’s looking at you, kid!

Trading Places

I don’t know how interested readers of this Blog are in stills from science fiction television series but I seem to amass them fairly rapidly, more than I can ever possibly use. I suspect it’s a continuation of collecting sweet cigarette and bubble-gum cards from when I was a child but without that teeth rotting element! I can remember a shop keeper going through her entire “Thunderbirds” stock, in a little newsagents in Paignton, during a summer holiday long ago, looking for that one elusive card to complete my set of fifty. She didn’t find it but I bought a packet anyway. I must have found it eventually, although where and when eludes me, as I still have them stored away for posterity. I actually have two sets of the first series, possibly one belonged to my brother, and a single set of the second. I prefer the latter, being made up of photos as opposed to artists impressions of the vehicles and characters. I also own a set of the sixty-four “Captain Scarlet” bubble-gum cards which mix artwork with photos and when collectively reversed make a single image.

Moving effortlessly on from Spectrum Pursuit Vehicles to a certain Sport-Utility Vehicle, I have to admit that, despite some reservations, my imagination seems to have been captured a little by episode seven of “Torchwood”. In a parallel universe, there might well be a set of trading cards for the series although, considering what I assume to be the age of the intended audience, that seems less likely than for “Doctor Who”! With this in mind, I’ve put together a little ten-picture gallery featuring the two leads from “Greeks Bearing Gifts”. It was Tosh’s episode but benefited greatly from the guest star, Daniela Denby-Ashe as Mary/Philoctetes, appearing throughout, rather than briefly at the story’s conclusion as was the case with Owen Teale in “Countrycide” and Gareth Thomas in “Ghost Machine”. The first of the set is above showing the moment our heroine first tries on the alien pendant with the remaining nine directly below in a separate post. Pictures two through six continue the exchange that took place in the Cardiff bar with the remaining four from the story’s climax at the heart of the Hub.

A “Gift” of a Gallery

Heart for Art’s Sake

“Torchwood” seems to be attracting interesting guest stars. Last week, in Chris Chibnall’s well-titled “Countrycide”, Owen Teale popped up towards the end of the episode as the leader of a group of Brecon Beacon villagers intent on cannibalism once every decade, almost as though he’d stayed on at the end of “Vengeance on Varos” ready to appear in “The Two Doctors”! And this week, starring throughout Toby Whithouse’s “Greeks Bearing Gifts”, Daniela Denby-Ashe, best known for long running sitcom “My Family”, played exiled and abandoned alien “Mary” who worms her way into Toshiko’s affections, with the present of a pendant that enables the wearer to read the innermost thoughts of others, in order to eventually invite herself into the Hub of Torchwood itself to retrieve her ship. Said thoughts made for a depressing indictment of the human race.

The balance between the personal relationships of the heroes and the science fiction strands of the story worked better in “Greeks Bearing Gifts” than it has previously, in both “Torchwood” and new “Doctor Who”, maybe because the alien artefact was a direct link between the two elements, making it an excellent plot device. Toby’s script benefited from his earlier experience writing “Doctor Who” episode “School Reunion” where the balance wasn’t as well executed. Daniela sustained a convincing performance throughout, possibly not an easy thing to do when alternating between tearing out the hearts of her victims down through time with present-day lesbian liaisons in Cardiff cafés! She played it as a femme fatale, which worked well enough, eventually brought to book by Captain Jack resetting her transport home to burn her up in the heart of the Sun. Hot stuff!!

Frankenstein created “Cyberwoman”

“Cyberwoman” was possibly the most satisfying of the first four episodes of “Torchwood”. I say possibly because there was nothing in it to match the two minutes screen time allotted John Normington in last week’s third episode, “Ghost Machine”. It wasn’t his dialogue, either, that captured the moment but the history of his character was all in John’s facial expressions. Gareth Thomas, too, made the most of his few scenes in the final twenty minutes of the same episode. His body language, especially the stooped gait, was spot on. This week’s fourth episode was similarly structured, in terms of the introduction of guest characters, in that we meet a Japanese Doctor early on, who has arrived to save the half-converted Cyberwoman’s soul, and a pizza delivery girl, who actually achieves, temporarily, what the Doctor couldn’t, towards the conclusion.

“Cyberwoman” was a roller coaster of an episode only marred by the intrusion of attempted light relief. Gwen’s boyfriend phoning in order to get her to record “Wife Swap” was more of the same pop culture references that currently clog up new “Doctor Who”. Totally unnecessary; as was the need to engage the characters in yet more tedious tonsil tennis. I wonder if those scenes were written by the episode’s writer Chris Chibnall? James Strong’s direction lived up to the standard he set himself in “The Impossible Planet” except, here, he was allowed the luxury of more gore. The consequences of failed conversion were more explicitly explored in the demise of the two guest characters mentioned previously. What we really had in this episode was a reworking of Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein”, with Ianto in the role of the obsessive Doctor character, of that novel, the Cyberwoman his creation, and the Japanese Doctor and pizza girl, not forgetting girlfriend Lisa, sacrifices to out-of-control science. “Doctor Who” has reworked “Frankenstein” before, of course, most obviously in “The Brain of Morbius” and therein lies the clue to the twist in this tale.

Some loose ends weren’t readily tied up. “Cyberwoman” required a big leap of faith for the audience to easily accept that Ianto had never before aroused suspicions or that some other thing hadn’t drawn the Torchwood team’s attention to the possibility of something nasty in the basement. I’m pretty certain there isn’t an Ice Warrior in my loft though perhaps I better go and have another look! There is no way on Earth that Ianto should be allowed to stay on the team after this incident but “Torchwood” doesn’t seem bothered by any moral implications. In the first episode, “Everything Changes”, it was explained by Tosh that the body of a hospital porter, having been killed by a rogue Weevil, would be reported missing before being washed up on shore a few days later. I would like to have known how the bodies of the victims in “Cyberwoman” were to be disposed? You could hardly explain the Japanese Doctor’s Cyber eye away too easily or the pizza girl’s brain transplant! Surely she would be missed at work, at the very least. Unless they’re totally stupid, the takeaway services who supply Torchwood must already be becoming suspicious!

Finally, I did enjoy the brief fight between Lisa the Cyberwoman and Myfanwy the Pterodactyl. It occurred to me that this was the dinosaur’s revenge for extinction in “Earthshock”, essentially at the hands of the Cybermen, and this provided the episode with an interesting cyclical aura; but maybe that’s just my fancy!

Who will kill Blake?

Episode three of “Torchwood”, “Ghost Machine” by Helen Raynor, was an improvement on the first couple of stories shown last week. It wasn’t perfect but held the attention more readily. The plot was reasonably involved, concerning an alien device which can initially enable its handler to relive past events but latterly to foresee the future. But just how complete a picture does it give of the shape of things to come? Will Jimmy White look-a-like Owen Harper (Burn Gorman) really avenge a past crime or will a certain leading lady, by the name of Eve Myles, be the one to accidentally twist the knife in?!

The direction seemed to move at a faster pace than previously (which isn’t necessarily a good thing), especially in the way the teaser was edited. Best of all, “Ghost Machine” featured a superb cameo from John (“The Caves of Androzani” and “The Happiness Patrol”) Normington and a star turn from a cigarette smoking, haggard looking, Gareth (“Blake’s 7”) Thomas as a guilt-ridden ex-teddy boy! The scene in which Owen exposes the terror of Gareth’s ways was terrific, a lot more fun than the chase through the back gardens of suburban Cardiff that was the focus of the following “Confidential”-like documentary “Torchwood Declassified”.

In “Ghost Machine”, John Normington played against expectations, a mild-mannered ageing evacuee, the complete opposite of the Trau Morgus character from his first “Doctor Who” - the embodiment of an ambitious, ruthless, corrupt politician best remembered for turning to camera and exclaiming, “The spineless cretins”. I also recall him in a play, made shortly after “Caves”, in which he co-starred with Patrick Troughton, about a jazz musician, played by the ex-Doctor, who loses his memory and goes missing only to end up at a pub called, appropriately enough, The Northern Star. It was on BBC2 but, unfortunately, brief research on both IMDb and Google has failed to reveal its title.

Gareth Thomas, on the other hand, as well as his most famous role, I remember in BBC dramas “The Citadel” and “Morgan’s Boy” as well as an ITV Sunday afternoon children’s serial, also co-starring Patrick Troughton (in his final role), entitled “Knights of God”. I still have a copy of the latter on a couple of Betamax tapes, which also featured Don Henderson, John Woodvine, Michael Sheard and Julian Fellowes, amongst others, and was directed by Michael (“Battlefield”) Kerrigan and Andrew (“Time and the Rani” and “Remembrance of the Daleks”) Morgan. Though it’s a long time since I watched it, I do remember it contained some plot inconsistencies but was nevertheless a fun, if undemanding, watch.

Returning to the present, it was good to see both Gareth Thomas and John Normington again, and on such fine form, and a bonus that it was in an SF drama. I didn’t notice any direct references to parent show “Doctor Who”, this week, but next week’s episode couldn’t be more connected if it tried, the eagerly awaited “Cyberwoman”. I’m ever-optimistic!