The girl next door?

Rihanna has been in the headlines again this week, prompting discussions as to the suitability of her live shows for those of a young, impressionable age. “She has to push the boundaries,” enlightened ex-Atomic Kitten singer Liz McClarnon, on Monday’s edition of The Wright Stuff! Does she? Is she? Why? Which boundaries are those, Liz? Musically, like most pop stars, she hasn’t a clue. DJ Tony Blackburn disagrees with me, claiming Rihanna to be very talented and with no real need to overtly sexualise her every single action. And these are the boundaries under discussion, social mores. But, even here, she’s not really doing anything that hasn’t been done before, manifold. In my youth, I was keen on a five-piece all-female band from America called The Runaways. They appeared on the scene around the same time as Blondie and I, for one, found them more appealing than Debbie Harry and the guys! I was older though, than the children parents are taking to see Rihanna simulating sex and sing about guys not being able to get it up! But the lead singer of The Runaways, Cherie Currie, dressed equally as provocatively, in a basque, knickers, stockings and suspenders, whilst triumphantly exclaiming, in their debut single Cherry Bomb, she was gonna, “have you, grab you, ’til you’re sore!”

I saw The Runaways live twice, once in Birmingham, in an enormous converted railway shed - the name of which escapes me, and latterly at The Hammersmith Odeon, London. I suppose, in retrospect, the Brummie gig was the more memorable experience. I was right at the front of the stage, with Cherie, who must be about the same age as me, spreading her legs directly in my face with only a small piece of cotton separating her womanhood from my leering eyes… and those of a thousand other young innocents! I also remember vast tables selling paperbacks including American prints of Space: 1999 novelisations, but that’s another music in a different kitchen!! When I saw the band for the second and last time, Miss Currie had departed, for whatever reason, and Joan Jett had taken centre stage. The Queens Of Noize, as they were nicknamed after the title of their second album, perhaps wanted to be taken more seriously. As a four-piece, they were less glam rock and more hard rock. They were in the UK to promote their latest album, Waitin’ For The Night. The lead single, School Days, has the deepest pressing of any in my collection and is probably the loudest piece of vinyl I own! It’s definitely not as loud on the album, despite being exactly the same recording!

Joan is probably better known, now, as the singer of I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll with her band The Blackhearts. This song was covered by Britney Spears. She, herself, caused controversy for dressing up as a schoolgirl in her debut video for Baby, One More Time. About the same time, Russian duo t.A.T.u. were appalling the easily shocked, running around kissing each other wearing only vagina-hugging panties and see-through shirts. Both Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova have since appeared topless in the uncensored promo for White Robe. Lena takes off her knickers, too, so maybe Rihanna still has some way to go in pushing those social boundaries. Lena’s not the first. I recall a member of L7 pulling her trousers down during a performance on Channel 4’s The Word and giving us all a glimpse of her pubic hair. Can’t remember what the song was! As for lyrics, pop records have always been predominantly about sex. Gary Glitter was chanting Do Ya Wanna Touch Me?, which Joan Jett has covered, back in the early Seventies and bragging he was “the man who put the bang in gang”, so why his later activities came as any surprise is beyond me! And so the debate goes on, with Rihanna the latest in a long line advocating promiscuity of one sort or another but as Mick once put it, “It’s Only Rock ‘N’ Roll… but I like it…”

Telly Visions: Romola Garai

Romola Garai seems to be popping up/out all over the place on television just recently! She’s been acting professionally since 2000 when she made her debut in The Last Of The Blonde Bombshells. The actress is perhaps best known now for playing the title role in Jane Austen’s Emma, a four-part adaptation broadcast two years ago on BBC One, opposite Michael Gambon playing her father Mr. Woodhouse. The cast also included Jodhi May and Christina Cole.

But Romola has most recently been seen on BBC Two playing Sugar, a young and intelligent prostitute seeking revenge, through a novel she is writing, against all the men who have abused her and her colleagues, in The Crimson Petal And The White. She has commented on her racy part of Sugar, a 19th century mistress, that “standing around in knickers and suspenders, waiting for someone to call action, is pretty cringe-making... By the end everyone on the set was like, ‘Please just put it away.’”

This week Romola is back on our screens in the six-part television drama series The Hour. Set in the BBC newsrooms of the mid-Fifties, and again on BBC Two, she plays Bel Rowley, spirited and ambitious, and facing the most exciting and daunting challenge of her life – running The Hour. Can her passion for the truth survive the political pressure the job will bring – and will her friendship with Freddie survive her undeniable attraction to front man Hector?

Undercover, Underwired Underwear!

The latest series of ‘Undercover Boss’ began on Tuesday, 5th July at 9pm on Channel 4 with a look at adult retailer Ann Summers. CEO Jacqueline Gold is one of Britain’s best known business women. She has developed the family industry away from the domain of the male “raincoat brigade” to a taboo-busting female-friendly high street staple. Too famous to go incognito herself, Jacqueline sent younger sister and Deputy MD Vanessa (pictured) undercover, in amongst the undies, to one of their high-street stores. But little sister Vanessa struggled with some customers’ intimate questions about the products!

You can just imagine it… Browsing in one of the stores, a potential male customer picks up a vibrator, ostensibly for his girlfriend or wife, although one wonders why she’d need it if he was keeping her satisfied, and asks the young attractive female shop assistant if she wouldn’t mind demonstrating how to use the object, on the pretence he’s not exactly familiar with its purpose! Or, maybe he’s not sure how a pair of crotchless panties would suit the love of his life and asks the girl behind the counter if she wouldn’t mind modelling them for him while he sets up his digital camera!! Anyway, you get the picture… I’m glad I don’t work at Ann Summers and have to fend off such questions on a regular basis, although maybe you get used to it.

One thing I’ve often found amusing, in the city in which I live, is that Ann Summers is situated next door to Primark! So the most expensive place to get your knickers is a stone’s throw from the cheapest!!

Goosebumps

The moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived. No, not the passing of the Royal wedding, for which we’re all eternally grateful, not even the start of the thirty-second series of “Doctor Who”, the sixth if you’re a newbie, for which we’re even more beholden, but the day in which Claire Goose exposes her lovely lady lumps on television for the first time! It’s been a long time coming. She’s now 36, married and mum to Amelia. In the past, she’s posed for lads’ mags in her underwear, set our pulses racing in a nurse’s uniform, as Tina Seabrook in “Casualty”, but never before has she plucked up the courage to get her tits out. Tonight, in “Exile”, all that is about to change. It’s been described as her first ever nude scene despite wearing skimpy briefs throughout. Presumably she could’ve asked to keep her bra on if she’d felt too exposed but Claire trusted the director. It’s an important scene where the couple aren’t just having sex, something that’s seen earlier, but are making love for the first time. No doubt John Simm, her partner in the three-part serial, running on successive evenings at 9pm on BBC1, put her at ease and was very masterful!

Claire plays barmaid Mandy, a mother-of-two trapped in a lifeless marriage who embarks on an affair with a journalist called Tom (John Simm). Sacked from his job and dumped by his married girlfriend, Tom Ronstadt heads back up North to see his sister Nancy (Olivia Colman) and their father Sam (Jim Broadbent), a man nursing a dark secret but now in the grip of Alzheimer’s. Sam was originally due to be played by Pete Postlethwaite, who died in January. Jim heard the part had become available and thought, “if it was good enough for Pete, it’ll be good enough for me”! Jim’s mother had Alzheimer’s so he already knew a fair bit about it from her case. But, “Exile” is not a story about Alzheimer’s. It’s a psychological thriller about a man who can’t remember and another trying to get a secret out of him. “Exile” starts as a domestic drama, with some dark humour, but then turns into a thriller. So, there are plenty of reasons to tune in, not just the lure of seeing Claire in the altogether, although, admittedly, that is a major draw however brief, but the prospect of being entertained by some exciting television. Warden’s one to watch!

Television in Trash Shocker

Next Wednesday, on ITV2, the younger Minogue sibling gets her own three-part fly-on-the-wall television series, “Dannii Minogue: Style Queen”.

Why?

What particular talents does Miss Minogue junior bring to enhance our viewing pleasure? Alright, we can all think of a couple… and she hasn’t been slow to exploit them. Let’s not beat about her bush here, we’re talking breasts. Or, as The Stranglers once so eloquently put it, “What was the size of her tits?”!

Well, I’m not sure how big Dannii’s boobies are and, to be perfectly honest, I don’t really care. They’re decently sized, big enough to previously model her own range of underwear and now she’s back to promote her new fashion range… and new range of perfume… and latest pop record. Yikes, she’s working incredibly hard, it must be exhausting! What with all that, having a baby, and “The X Factor”!!

I’d like to know if Dannii, or any so-called celeb, pays for the air space or is she paid for her time? I sometimes pondered that same question when “artists” appeared on “Top of the Pops” promoting their latest single, including the delightful-looking auburn-haired Minogue. Surely these slots were essentially three-minute commercials.

So, there they were, bouncing up and down, though I don’t remember the names of any of Dannii’s songs! She even admits her music has come in for some criticism, in the past, but doesn’t say whether or not she thinks it is justified. Everyone is always too busy, getting jiggy wit it, to pay any scant attention to something as unimportant as musicality!!

And, getting urgently back to the subject of scanties, I bet Dannii’s designer bra and knickers cost a bob or two even before they reach E-Bay!

Flower Power

There I was quietly sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly my ears pricked up on hearing the strains of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” emanating from the television set. Immediately, I looked up. I’m not one for watching commercials. Can’t stand the things if I’m honest. Someone once told me the ads are better than the programmes but I remain unconvinced. Perhaps they are, I just don’t watch the poorer shows the better advertisements, periodically, interrupt. On this occasion, however, it was worth my while. I was greeted with the telly vision that is catwalk model-turned-actress Lily Cole. She really is a stunner. I must have a thing for fiery redheads because the other lady for whom I have a burning passion is, of course, t.A.T.u.’s Lena Katina. These two gorgeous-looking young women top and tail the three hundred-picture twenty-minute slideshow you can view at the foot of this blog. If I had my very own TARDIS, I know which two ladies I’d want to be my companions and their names aren’t Billie Piper or Catherine Tate! Although, even they would be preferable to Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway!! But, why I particularly dislike those two GMTV “presenters” - journalists my arse - is the subject for another day…

The advert in question turns out to be the latest trendy promotion for the Marks and Spencer chain and, in particular, their fashion line. Set on a fairground, other attractions, besides our Lily, include sold-out classical musician-turned-pop-star-turned-television-presenter Myleene Klass and Sixties’ fashion icon Twiggy. Black model Noémie Lenoir sports two sets of natty-looking undies, not at the same time you understand! These include polka dot panties, which she wiggles in close up, and a rather fetching set of pink bra and knickers to match the candy floss on which she is nibbling. I was going to say munching but being a slim model that’s probably unlikely! I expect you can tell, I was paying especially close attention to detail!! It’s all very fast, very slick, very stylish, and unburdened with product detail - different to those commercials insistent on telling you the price of everything where you end up remembering absolutely nothing. “Fashion Fairground” simply promotes a brand. If you’d like to watch it, without sitting through numerous commercial breaks hoping for an appearance from the lovely Lily, simply click on the link on the right to my “Jukebox”! “Put on your red shoes and dance the blues”!! Watching her figure, I can tell you that, at the start, sadly, and I know it’s a missed opportunity, Lily doesn’t actually lick her lolly!!!