Getting shirty

Towards the end of the recent F1 season, motor-racing pundit Eddie Jordan purchased a pink/maroon-coloured Indian shirt, which he duly wore at said country’s Grand Prix. Later, he decided to auction the garment as part of Children In Need, having persuaded various dignitaries, including a visiting Sir Paul McCartney, to sign it, albeit rather scruffily. I don’t know how much the item of clothing fetched, or even if it was sold at all, as I didn’t watch the evening’s ‘entertainment’, despite the dubious draw of a Doctor Who sketch! The prospect of sitting through continuity tarts Tess Daly, Fearne Cotton and Alesha Dixon, for such an exhausting amount of time, held absolutely no appeal. I have occasionally wondered what became of Eddie’s shirt. Who would want such an item? What would they do with it once safely installed in their wardrobe? Would it have been laundered before leaving the confines of the BBC? It got me to thinking maybe other celebs should go down the same route, if they haven’t already, and would I be interested in purchasing any of their apparel?

As readers of this Journal are no doubt aware, I’m a fairly enthusiastic fan of Doctor Who! However, I’ve no interest in wearing David Tennant’s trench coat, even if it might make me look a little like Blade Runner’s Rick Deckard! I’m not particularly partial to bow ties either, even if they do possess a certain sartorial elegance! And maybe Chris Eccleston’s leather attire is better suited to The Stranglers’ Jean Jacques Burnel. Some of Billie Piper’s outfits, though, are a different matter. I wasn’t overly impressed with how she was dressed, on most occasions, but a few times they got it just right. I would’ve liked to have seen the white t-shirt she wore in Dalek, or the Union Jack one she wore in the Blitz two-parter, up for grabs. Even the orange affair Rose donned in the Olympic torch episode would be a welcome addition to any admirer’s collection! I wonder what became of the costumes after she left the series, when, presumably, the programme had no further use for them? I don’t recall seeing them at any of the programme’s exhibitions…

The thing is how far do you go when selling off a high-profile star’s clothing? There must be some out there who wouldn’t mind getting their hands on the thong Billie is wearing at the close of The Satan Pit, the backside of which is clearly visible over the top of her jeans on her return to the TARDIS. Others might prefer the thong which makes itself noticeable in the Doctor Who Confidential episode that accompanies Rose’s final regular appearance on the show. The problem is that these items probably belong to her rather than the BBC and she might not want to part with them. It’s all purely hypothetical as it’s quite likely these flimsy little pieces of cloth are probably long gone, worn out after frequent use… replaced by whatever is the latest fashion in these things. Doctor Who fans are mad. Graham Norton said so, so it must be true. I wouldn’t want to contradict his expectations so, if the described items no longer exist, I’d be quite happy acquiring the white bra our Billie is wearing in the above picture, even though she undoubtedly looks far better in it than I ever could!

Breaking the silence

I haven’t written about Doctor Who in this Journal for three months. I’ve not even mentioned the programme in passing! Give the man a medal!! With the second half of Series Six fast approaching, it’s perhaps time to take a little look at the present state of affairs. I wasn’t happy with the cliff-hangers of the last two episodes. Why? After a terrific and traditional two-part story in which The Doctor advocated living in harmony alongside our Doppelgänger cousins, just as he’d done in Doctor Who And The Silurians in 1970, he whipped out his sonic screwdriver and reduced Amy to sludge. The Time Lord had suspected that, for the last half-dozen episodes, his long-standing companion was a double, constantly checking to see whether or not the TARDIS registered her as pregnant. But, why couldn’t he practice what he’d been preaching… tolerance. Why couldn’t Doppelgänger Amy exist together with her flesh and blood counterpart? The audience was fobbed off with some lame excuse about transmitting signals. Confine her where this couldn’t happen would’ve been a more sensible solution but nowhere near as melodramatic as the shock value of seeing The Doctor seemingly bumping off his friend. Writer Matthew Graham, co-creator of Life On Mars and Ashes To Ashes, was asked to add this ending by show runner Steven Moffat to lead into the mid-season finale but, for me, only succeeded in spoiling The Rebel Flesh and The Almost People.

And so to the cliff-hanger of Episode Seven, A Good Man Goes To War, in which we learn the real identity of River Song. She’s none other than Amy’s long-lost daughter, Melody Pond. Doctor Who had been building up to this revelation for some time. Ever since River was introduced in 2008, in Steven Moffat’s two-part story Silence In The Library and Forest Of The Dead, the writer has been teasing us as to her true persona. The resolution is a bit of a cheat, in all honesty, as Amy had yet to be introduced to Doctor Who at the time of her offspring’s inception in the series. Karen’s character was still two years away. It needed to be something that was already in the many and varied worlds of Doctor Who for an audience to be truly taken by surprise. Something connected to The Doctor himself would’ve been best, where it doesn’t matter that Matt’s Doctor was also two years away when River was inaugurated because, central to the concept, the Eleventh Doctor is the same character as the Tenth. Maybe the familial connection, now established as mother and daughter, is a red herring to throw the audience off the scent of a much greater surprise, yet to come over the next six episodes. I hope so because, as it stands, the big mid-season denouement was nothing short of pure soap opera, which wouldn’t have been out of place as the climax to an episode of EastEnders! I wonder when I’ll write about modern day Doctor Who again? Soon, all being well!

Relative Relations

It’s been the subject of mass debate as to why the Doctor keeps stroking bits of his TARDIS. He’s sometimes seen dusting his console with his handkerchief and spends copious amounts of time fiddling with his knobs. Yes, as well as having two hearts, he presses more buttons than anyone else in the universe! And now we know why. His little old Police Box is the love of his life. And when it materializes inside a young woman not unlike the one in the above picture, it transpires - in private - he calls her sexy. Never did I imagine I’d be looking at a picture of the Doctor’s space/time machine wearing such a pretty bra! It’s about time Suranne Jones appeared in “Doctor Who” - she’s already acted alongside the fifth Doctor, Peter Davison, in “Unforgiven” and the tenth Doctor, David Tennant, in “Single Father” as well as guest starring in “The Sarah Jane Adventures” as Mona Lisa. She’s still best known, perhaps, for playing feisty factory girl Karen McDonald for four years in “Coronation Street” which she left in 2004.

In “The Doctor’s Wife”, the fourth episode in the current series of “Doctor Who”, Suranne plays Idris whom cult fantasy-author Neil Gaiman hinted “might just turn out to be an old acquaintance with a new face.” Long term fans surmised as to whether or not it could possibly be renegade Time Lady the Rani, reborn in the same way as the Master. Then there’s the name Idris. Could this be a clue? IDentity RIver Song?! But it turned out to be neither of them. Much more cleverly, the story explored the relationship between the Time Lord and his erratic machine, while in human form. At the outset of the adventure, Idris lives with Auntie, Uncle and Nephew, who are raggedy people - patchwork folk put together from bits and pieces of travellers lured to what has become a junkyard world. Suranne’s character has got all her own bits, as most men will have noticed, but if she’d stayed in the same environment any longer, who knows, she might have found she’d got a new limb which didn’t belong to her! Understandably a little bonkers, Idris bites the Doctor! Tough job, acting!!

The Vital Statistics of “Doctor Who”

There’s interesting news for “Doctor Who” enthusiasts, as the television series approaches its forty-seventh anniversary, with the confirmation of a double world record for the programme…

“Doctor Who” star Matt Smith has been officially recognised as the youngest actor to take the role in the new edition of the Guinness World Records. The 2011 book also features another record for the hit show which is listed as the longest-running science-fiction TV series in the world. I’d never have guessed!

Smith, as we all know, made his debut as the Time Lord on New Year’s Day at the end of Part Two of “The End of Time” although, rather bizarrely I thought, his casting was announced in a special programme on BBC One almost a year earlier. He was just twenty-six when he filmed his first scenes last year, three years younger than Peter Davison.

“Doctor Who” has extended its own record for a lengthy run, having produced 769 episodes up to June of this year, consisting of 212 storylines plus a TV movie.

Warden’s Watch: Doctor Who - Series Five, Episodes One to Three

It’s “Doctor Who”, Tim, but not as we know it! The much-loved science fiction fairy tale is back and it’s still as beleaguered with problems as under its previous show-runner. On the plus side, gone are the gratuitous references to homosexuality which Russell T Davies forced upon his audience every episode - John Nathan-Turner was gay too, but didn’t see the series as the place to air a personal agenda - and, better still, gone are all the companions’ annoyingly-grating mothers. Rose, Donna, Martha - they all came with one! It’s already established, in “The Eleventh Hour”, that Amy’s parents are dead and that she lives with her aunt. We’ve never had that before in “Doctor Who”! I was also hoping new Executive Producer Steven Moffat would drop the season-umbrella idea, so poorly realised previously with Bad Wolf, Torchwood and Saxon, and keep the stories self-contained. But the crack in the wall in the first episode and again this week, at the end of “Victory of the Daleks”, coupled with Amy’s lack of memory concerning the events of “The Stolen Earth” suggest these ideas are the running themes of Series Five.

Upon his arrival, Mister Moffat indicated a desire for all things new. New Doctor, new short-skirted rather than trouser-wearing companion, ghastly new opening titles in which the actors names are almost unreadable, terribly uninspired new logo, the worst arrangement of the theme tune ever, new - better than the last one - TARDIS console room, new lick of paint for the old Police Box, and now five new impressively-oversized individually-coloured Daleks! But all these things are cosmetic. It doesn’t really matter that much which actor plays the Doctor, ask Tom Baker! What you really need are superbly-written scripts and both “The Beast Below” and the Dalek extravaganza were too short for their good ideas to be fully realised. We’ve been landed with the same format, ten stories over thirteen episodes, when we’d be better off with just six stories over those same thirteen instalments. The classic series’ four-parters were ideal in length, structured a bit like a traditional symphony. If you want superficial then forty minutes is fine but, if you’re looking for substantial, one hour forty minutes is preferable. There was never any need for this change in format when the programme originally returned in 2005. The one thing they should’ve retained they threw out with the bath water!

The “new” Executive Producer has held onto those blessed stallholders much beloved of RTD. We met them in “The Long Game”, we met them in “Gridlock”, we met them in “The Fires of Pompeii” and again in “Turn Left”, and up they popped most recently onboard the Starship UK. These villains return more often than the Daleks! The stallholder, one of many ideas “borrowed” from the JN-T era, was better realised by Peggy Mount in “The Greatest Show in the Galaxy”. Then there’s the obligatory gunk-tank, splattering all and sundry, firstly whenever there’s a Slitheen around, next getting messy in the canteen kitchen in “School Reunion”, and now hurtling down a tube into slime onboard, yes you’ve guessed it, the Starship UK! And where are the Doctor’s table manners? Compare the Tenth Doctor’s eating habits in “The Unicorn and the Wasp” with those of his successor in “The Eleventh Hour”. Both very very mucky!!! I did admire how writer Mark Gatiss managed to cram all three best things from Christopher Eccleston’s single year into a single episode, namely an historical figure, new-look Dalek and Blitz-ravaged London. Churchill was fun, the pepper pots buggered off too quickly and the Second World War setting always works in “Doctor Who”… just watch “The Curse of Fenric”!

Flower Power

There I was quietly sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly my ears pricked up on hearing the strains of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” emanating from the television set. Immediately, I looked up. I’m not one for watching commercials. Can’t stand the things if I’m honest. Someone once told me the ads are better than the programmes but I remain unconvinced. Perhaps they are, I just don’t watch the poorer shows the better advertisements, periodically, interrupt. On this occasion, however, it was worth my while. I was greeted with the telly vision that is catwalk model-turned-actress Lily Cole. She really is a stunner. I must have a thing for fiery redheads because the other lady for whom I have a burning passion is, of course, t.A.T.u.’s Lena Katina. These two gorgeous-looking young women top and tail the three hundred-picture twenty-minute slideshow you can view at the foot of this blog. If I had my very own TARDIS, I know which two ladies I’d want to be my companions and their names aren’t Billie Piper or Catherine Tate! Although, even they would be preferable to Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway!! But, why I particularly dislike those two GMTV “presenters” - journalists my arse - is the subject for another day…

The advert in question turns out to be the latest trendy promotion for the Marks and Spencer chain and, in particular, their fashion line. Set on a fairground, other attractions, besides our Lily, include sold-out classical musician-turned-pop-star-turned-television-presenter Myleene Klass and Sixties’ fashion icon Twiggy. Black model Noémie Lenoir sports two sets of natty-looking undies, not at the same time you understand! These include polka dot panties, which she wiggles in close up, and a rather fetching set of pink bra and knickers to match the candy floss on which she is nibbling. I was going to say munching but being a slim model that’s probably unlikely! I expect you can tell, I was paying especially close attention to detail!! It’s all very fast, very slick, very stylish, and unburdened with product detail - different to those commercials insistent on telling you the price of everything where you end up remembering absolutely nothing. “Fashion Fairground” simply promotes a brand. If you’d like to watch it, without sitting through numerous commercial breaks hoping for an appearance from the lovely Lily, simply click on the link on the right to my “Jukebox”! “Put on your red shoes and dance the blues”!! Watching her figure, I can tell you that, at the start, sadly, and I know it’s a missed opportunity, Lily doesn’t actually lick her lolly!!!

Ten of the Beast

Being in a positive frame of mind, at the present time, and given that we seem to be heading towards some sort of conclusion to the first four seasons of new “Doctor Who”, I thought it might be an appropriate moment to consider which have been the highlights of the first forty-five episodes, since the programme’s resurrection. My selection seems obvious to me, but you may beg to differ…

From Season One, in chronological order, three stories over four episodes…

1: “The Unquiet Dead” written by Mark Gatiss, directed by Euros Lyn - originally broadcast on 9th April 2005 with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler

The Doctor shares a carriage with Dickens (Simon Callow) while Rose is touched up by undertaker Gabriel Sneed (Alan David), when she’s unconscious! And, they call this a children’s show? Meanwhile, the Time Lord is taken in by a plea to “Pity the Gelth”. He does and his gullibility costs the life of servant girl Gwyneth (Eve Myles).

2: “Dalek” written by Robert Shearman, directed by Joe Ahearne - originally broadcast on 30th April 2005 with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler

A strange way to reintroduce the Doctor’s deadliest foe, with only one of the scallywags from Skaro, but, in retrospect, it’s a tough little story, totally at odds with all the emoting going on elsewhere in the series! Who would ever have thought we’d feel sympathy for a “Metaltron”? Rose’s white t-shirt indicates she’s a Dalek virgin!

3 & 4: “The Empty Child” & “The Doctor Dances” written by Steven Moffat, directed by James Hawes - originally broadcast on 21st & 28th May 2005 with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor, Billie Piper as Rose Tyler and John Barrowman as Captain Jack Harkness

Doctor Constantine (Richard Wilson) grows a gasmask on his face while a little boy, in a similar predicament, asks of everyone he meets, whatever their gender, “Are you my mummy?” - That dubious honour belongs to Nancy (Florence Hoath) who’d, obviously, do absolutely anything to meet Graham Norton! Rose’s Union Jack t-shirt indicates with which Captain she’d enjoy an association!!

From Season Two, one story comprising two episodes…

5 & 6: “The Impossible Planet” & “The Satan Pit” written by Matt Jones, directed by James Strong - originally broadcast on 3rd & 10th June 2006 with David Tennant as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler

Beam me up Scooti Manista (Myanna Buring) was, no doubt, on many a male’s mind before the wee lass was sucked into a black hole above the rocky landscape of Krop Tor! Nothing Ood about that, let me assure her!! Well, you know what they say, “The beast and his armies will rise from the pit”. While the Doctor hitches a lift to the bottom, Rose attempts to keep hers covered as she gets carried away to Zachary Cross Flane’s (Shaun Parkes) escape rocket… when she’s unconscious!

From Season Three, two stories over three episodes…

7 & 8: “Human Nature” & “The Family of Blood” written by Paul Cornell, directed by Charles Palmer - originally broadcast on 26th May & 2nd June 2007 with David Tennant as the Doctor and Freema Agyeman as Martha Jones

Doctor Jones dons a maid’s uniform just so schoolteacher John Smith can show her and matron Joan Redfern (Jessica Hynes) his “Journal of Impossible Things”! I know all about his sort, the dirty little scribble monster! Oh, that’s from a different episode altogether - silly me!! Surely, that kind of thing is best left to the Marquis de Sade? Some of the kinky devils are even dressing up… as scarecrows!!!

9: “Blink” written by Steven Moffat, directed by Hettie Macdonald - originally broadcast on 9th June 2007 with Carey Mulligan as Sally Sparrow, David Tennant as the Doctor and Freema Agyeman as Martha Jones

Well, I have to say, I’d do bird to make the acquaintance of young Miss Sparrow! I can hear her song now, “Sally, Sally, pride of our alley, You’re more than the whole world to me…” Why the Doctor didn’t fly her away in his TARDIS, I’ll never know!! They could’ve done time together!!!

And, from the first three episodes of Season Four, one single-episode story…

10: “Planet of the Ood” written by Keith Temple, directed by Graeme Harper - originally broadcast on 19th April 2008 with David Tennant as the Doctor and Catherine Tate as Donna Noble

This final selection certainly provided fOod for thought! And, the Ood were prepared to sing for their supper. The script required many things, not least… plenty of brains. So quite what Donna was doing on the Ood-Sphere, in the year 4126, remains a mystery. I think she keeps hers in her hindquarters!!

The observant reader will notice I haven’t chosen a single episode written by Russell T. Davies, nor have I chosen any that feature companions’ familial ties! That’s a feat in itself!! I wonder if the two are synonymous? Considering numerous instalments of new “Doctor Who” feature harmonious mothers, melodious brothers and dynamic lovers, it may suggest these are default choices, which isn’t the case. I do, genuinely, like the episodes detailed above. Those are my favourites, which ones are yours?

Warden’s Watch: Planet of the Ood (or… Ood, Glorious Ood!)

I’ll lay my cards immediately on the table and let you all know that I absolutely adored the latest episode in the new series of “Doctor Who”, “Planet of the Ood”! It’s as big a surprise for me as it is you, dear reader!! In spite of Tate, regardless of Davies and notwithstanding a rather naff gag dependant on, admittedly minimal, knowledge of “The Simpsons”, I would love it if the programme were like this more of the time. I confess I’d been looking forward to this episode, more than any other, because the Ood story from two years ago is my favourite of the tenth Doctor’s era, to date. Ironically, considering my preference for the classic series, but not being particularly partial to the Sontarans, I haven’t been looking forward to next week’s two-parter nearly as much! One of the things I like about these Ood tales is the turning on its head of the master-servant/slave relationship. Usually, it’s the humans who are subjugated in “Doctor Who”, not the aliens. At the start of the story, a mystery is quickly inaugurated for the Doctor and his companion to investigate when the pair chance upon what-is-soon-to-be-revealed-as a red-eyed Ood dying in the snow whose last words plead, “The circle must be broken”. The whole setup of this adventure is very similar to that of “Revelation of the Daleks”, with the fast-fading Ood being comparable to the forgiving mutant near the start of the earlier escapade. Both stories feature a trudge through snow, from where the TARDIS has materialised, across an alien landscape. Both include the aforementioned preliminary confrontation before reaching the hub of the action. And, both deal with the nature of conducting business while, perhaps revealingly, both are directed by Graeme Harper! It doesn’t take the time travellers quite as long to reach their destination in “Planet of the Ood”, however, as it did the Doctor and Peri twenty-three years ago!!

As “Planet of the Ood” hurtles towards its climax, the Doctor and Donna make an alarming discovery. Huddled together in a cell, singing the song of captivity, are a group of natural born Ood, unprocessed, before they’re adapted to slavery, unspoilt. They carry their secondary hind-brain in their cupped hands. Donna finds the music overwhelmingly unbearable, emotionally speaking, and asks for it to be taken away. I used to have the same problem whilst spinning discs for customers, when working in a record shop back in the Eighties! Joking aside, the use of music here is exemplary, for once, and connected to a warning in the final moments of this sequel, when, speaking to the Doctor, an Ood forewarns, “I think your song must end soon. Every song must end.” Earlier, the Doctor offers stunning marketing manager Solana Mercurio, played by the beautifully named Ayesha Dharker (pictured), the hand of friendship which she briefly considers then rejects. She proceeds by betraying both him and Donna at the first available opportunity, not being able to step outside her own small, seemingly secure, world of the workplace. This is a minor moment of momentous tragedy, more real than any of the nonsense concerning the separation of Rose from her mentor at the end of Series Two! And, the themes of this Ood episode have resonance, not just emotional content. We are privy to a great big (business) empire built on slavery, witness to battery-hen farming for Ood-kind. There is a slowness and precision in both manner and movement of the Ood which makes them a very dignified race of beings, and that is key to their success. As Tennant said in the following “Doctor Who Confidential” documentary, “Oods and Ends”, “they are benevolent and non-invasive”. By way of contrast, this time round there are also rabid Ood, perhaps comparable in concept to rogue Cybermen as seen in “The Invasion” and “Attack of the Cybermen”.

I guessed, before “Planet of the Ood” commenced, that the Doctor wouldn’t be able to resist mentioning the “real” snow, on this occasion, as opposed to the raining ash etc of previous instances! I also predicted the fate of Tim McInnerny’s Klineman Halpen, when he first commented upon his hair loss ten minutes into the episode, even though the manner in which it happened was still a pleasant surprise! Transformed into the very creature he’s been abusing, it’s not quite as agreeable for the character as the viewer but justly deserved, nevertheless, for both murder and as amoral “owner of the franchise for selling Ood, domestically, across the known and unknown galaxy”!! A nice commentary on the nasty and seedy nature of business, generally, I thought. I hope Sir Alan was watching, though I’m not sure he would heed any message even if attuned to literary subtext! The enemy within Halpen’s company was successfully disguised throughout by the discreet performance of Adrian Rawlins, as much put upon Dr Ryder, having been a friend of the Ood, working for their release, for the past ten years! The almost-chanted and oft-repeated phrase, “Doctor, Donna, friends”, will no doubt pass into the folklore of the programme though I’m more likely to remember the Time Lord’s criticism, “Who do you think made your clothes?” As producer Susie Liggat indicated, “Planet of the Ood” is a really important story about liberating repressed people, a metaphor that can be applied the world over both on a personal level and globally. Writer Keith Temple fashioned what-turned-out-to-be a very old school episode of “Doctor Who”, and good on him!!

Telly Visions: Wendy Padbury

Deborah Watling’s successor in “Doctor Who” was the diminutive, but equally lovely, Wendy Padbury. Wendy became something of an icon for me in my formative years. Not only did she have a regular part to play in the adventures of the second Doctor but also with the team on children’s drama series “Freewheelers”. She joined “Doctor Who”, as Zoë Heriot, during another encounter with the Cybermen, in “The Wheel in Space”, and was returned to her own time and place, after forty-eight episodes, at the end of the epic ten-part story “The War Games”. It is during her final episodes on the series, the end of the Sixth Season, that we discover the Doctor’s race is known as Time Lords. I suspect this came out of desperation on the part of writers Terrance Dicks and Malcolm Hulke having had problems securing enough scripts for the programme’s final days in black and white and having to hurriedly write new instalments themselves! Ms Padbury’s bottom gained great notoriety at the beginning of her third story on the show, “The Mind Robber”, when, at the end of episode one, the TARDIS explodes and she and fellow companion Jamie are left clinging to its console as it slowly spins round, becoming engulfed in swirling mist. I hasten to add she was wearing a close-fitting lamé catsuit with said derrière pointing directly at the camera! No wonder I was enamoured!!

After leaving “Doctor Who”, Wendy Padbury found employment as co-presenter on a BBC game show, alongside Paul McCartney’s brother Mike McGear, in a short-lived series called “Score with the Scaffold”. The Scaffold were a well-known pop trio of the day, with a humorous slant, who themselves scored great success with hits “Thank U Very Much” and “Lily the Pink”. Wendy returned to acting in the brilliant and controversial British horror film, dealing with witchcraft and superstitions, “Blood on Satan’s Claw”. Appearing as Cathy Vespers, she is ritualistically raped. The actress renewed her acquaintance with the small screen in the fondly remembered, by me at least, Southern Television series “Freewheelers” as Sue Craig. Then in its fifth series, “Freewheelers” can probably best be described as a sort of junior James Bond, being action-adventure orientated. Like “Doctor Who”, a series usually comprised several serials, each episode closing with a cliff-hanger. It had a jaunty opening theme tune but ended with a different part of the same composition, creating a more sombre mood. The credibility of the show declined in its final days but I loved it and used to rush home from school to catch it, in an era before the introduction of domestic video recorders! Towards the end of her career, Wendy played Rosemary Roberts in the ITV soap opera “Emmerdale Farm”, to give it its original title, where she was reunited with Frazer Hines, her co-star from the good old days of “Doctor Who”!!

Warden’s Watch: Fury from the Deep

As a companion piece to “Telly Visions”, I’ve determined to introduce another new recurring feature, to this blog, in order to give it a fresh sense of identity in the absence of regular new “Doctor Who” reviews. The general idea of “Warden’s Watch” is to take a closer look at one of the productions in which the selected “Telly Visions” actress featured. This doesn’t, necessarily, mean analysing whole series (perish the thought!) but attempting to discern what makes a single episode, or serial within a series, stand out from the crowd. In the interests of variation, I may choose to consider a piece under the “Warden’s Watch” banner, initially, then follow through, subsequently, with an overview of a particular cast member’s career. Equally, each of the new strands may simply stand alone. It’s not set in stone like the rock creatures in “The Fires of Pompeii” otherwise any possible creativity, in the writing department, goes straight out the window! I may even still review a new “Doctor Who” episode as part of this series. Next Saturday’s “Planet of the Ood” looks a little more promising than its two predecessors, in the latest run, now that the British Board of Film Classification has indicated it’s not as suitable for youngsters by giving it a 12 rating! On the other hand, don’t hold your breath!! So, without further ado, to business…

What is it that makes “Fury from the Deep” my all-time favourite “Doctor Who” story? I haven’t watched this six-part serial since I was nine years old, and am unlikely ever to see it again, having been wiped from the BBC’s archive, so the answer is simple… my memory of it being the scariest set of episodes. It boasts three genuinely frightening cliff-hangers, one of which is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever experienced in a television drama to this day. At the end of episode three, Maggie Harris and Robson, both infected by the weed creature, meet on the beach. The former tells the latter she will obey his instructions. Then, she turns and walks straight out into the sea, eventually becoming completely submerged beneath the waves… Can you imagine the effect that had on someone my age in 1968? It is a haunting image, make no mistake. And, talk about creative! You need a warped imagination to invent something as unusual and truly weird as that!! Thinking about it now, I’m surprised it made it to broadcast at 5.15 in the afternoon of Saturday, 30th March. Episode one’s ending was a stunner, too. Victoria (Deborah Watling), trapped in a store room at the base, screams as foam pours in through an open grille and advances toward her. Within the foam are fronds of animated seaweed… And, it occurs to me that it’s exactly forty years, to the day, since the transmission of episode five which concludes with the Doctor and Jamie entering the central area of the control rig to find themselves confronted by the terrifying sight of Robson standing in the middle of a mass of weed and foam. “Come in Doctor,” he whispers. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Fury from the Deep” is the only television “Doctor Who” story to be written by script editor, and former actor, Victor Pemberton. He based it on his own radio play “The Slide”, about mind-controlling mud with a heartbeat! Yeah, I know it may sound silly but if done properly, with the skill to suspend one’s disbelief, it can scare the heebie-jeebies out of anyone!! “Fury” features a Robert Holmes-style double act in the shape of a couple of characters called Oak and Quill. The scene of these two weed-infected technicians attacking Maggie Harris in the comfort of her own home is one of the most terrifying in the show’s history. On the downside, I wasn’t too sure about the travellers returning to the TARDIS to conduct experiments, mid-serial, considering the ship was parked on the surface of the ocean, making it more than a little inaccessible. Second Doctor Patrick Troughton didn’t want to go up in a helicopter either! However, the story was more than successfully directed by another former actor, and ex-school teacher, Hugh David. Formerly David Hughes, it was his second and last time on the show. He had previously worked on “The Highlanders” in the same capacity. I later discovered he taught my father maths at grammar school! His wife, Wendy Williams, played Vira in the Tom Baker serial “The Ark in Space”. And, she was the English teacher at the same establishment!! It was the first story to feature the sonic screwdriver which, now, is a mixed blessing but, then, functioned exactly as described. And, it was the last story to feature Debbie Watling as Victoria Waterfield. The end of the final episode features a touching and emotional farewell without being overbearing. As the image of Victoria waving goodbye recedes on the TARDIS scanner screen, the Doctor reminds his forlorn companion, “I was fond of her too, you know, Jamie.”

“Doctor Who” Series Four - Trailer and Teasers

Well, the trailer and no less than three teasers, promoting the fourth new series of “Doctor Who”, have aired. Visually, they are impressive, to say the least. No doubt everyone has seen them by now! My favourite shot, from the main minute-and-a-half cinema preview, is of the miniscule TARDIS with exiting travellers set against the rocky alien snowscape with the Saturn-like planet at an angle on the horizon. And, least favourite is the Doctor behaving like he always does, with his blessed sonic screwdriver, whizzing in and out of shot like an idiot! I hate to say it but Donna actually seems more self-controlled than her mentor in this sequence, though I do hope she is calling Bernard Cribbins “gramps” because he is her grandfather and not just because of his age. Russell T Davies doesn’t need to discriminate against the elderly in order to increase his ratings! Donna trying to engage the Doctor’s attention through a porthole is excruciatingly reminiscent of a similar scene with Martha in last season’s “42”. I like the shot of the Noble one being menaced by a giant wasp in her bedroom! Looks as though she could be in for more than a little prick! I notice, in another shot, Donna is behind bars and, some might say, that’s the best place for her!! Of the three ten-second teasers, each featuring a returning monster, my preference is for the Dalek promo. Despite its extreme brevity, it’s beautifully shot and I love the reflection of the Doctor’s face captured in the creature’s eyestalk.

Time and Time Lord

So, what can we expect from the new series of “Doctor Who”? Well, as we all know from recent debate, the delightful Catherine is returning to our screens reprising her role of Donna throughout all thirteen episodes. Moving on… and, perhaps more importantly, David Tennant is back for his third run of episodes although it is heavily rumoured to be his last. Some like him, some don’t. I don’t mind the actor but I’m not particularly keen on the way he plays the part. I suspect that is, in no small way, partly due to executive producer Russell T. Davies. It’s rumoured the current show runner will soon be moving on to pastures new as well. To my way of thinking, that can only be a good thing, both for him, creatively, but also for the programme. New blood will bring, hopefully, new ideas. Meantime, Series Four promises a repeat of exactly the same season structure we’ve endured for the past three years. Three multi-part stories and single-episode adventures for the rest with, yet again, the lone intelligent tale looking like being the middle two-parter entitled “Silence in the Library”, and (naturally) written by Steven Moffat!

The finale sees the return of the Daleks, not seen since - oh, let me think - last year, but they haven’t been seen in the closing episodes for - oh, let me think, again - two years. Bring them back quickly, I say, after the complete mess of “Last of the Time Lords”. It was so bad I’ve actually stopped taping the show, for the first time since I possessed a VCR. Shame, really, because the seven minutes or so of the “Children in Need” episode wasn’t that bad thanks to Steven Moffat’s reasonably witty script, but largely due to the return of Sir Peter Davison! Anyway, there’s a slight difference this time round. With the Daleks comes Davros, fictional creator of the creatures from Skaro. He was first seen in “Doctor Who” in 1975 in “Genesis of the Daleks” but his whereabouts have been undisclosed since 1988 when he bowed out with a brief appearance at the climax of “Remembrance of the Daleks”, having appeared in five consecutive Dalek stories. Davros has been located by Caan, last survivor of the Dalek race (yawn), and he is helping the Dalek to create a new race of Daleks. In a shock development in the final episode, a Dalek casing opens to reveal Harriet Jones, played by Penelope Wilton, the mother of all the new Daleks.

Before the Daleks re-emergence, a couple of other old favourites are due for an outing. Those awfully nice Ood chappies will be back in episode three, which is good news except for the Doctor, presumably. I like them, about the only thing in Rusty’s re-imagining I do like! I still don’t understand why RTD thought it was his job to name them. Surely that was the prerogative of the fellow who wrote “The Impossible Planet” and ”The Satan Pit”? Did Verity Lambert tell Terry Nation to call his creation the Daleks?!! I don’t think so! Immediately after “Planet of the Ood”, we will be treated to “The Sontaran Stratagem”, the first of the two-parters, which features the return of the Ice Warriors - I wish! Actually, there’s several monsters I would’ve preferred to see returning rather than the Sontarans… Zarbi, Mechonoids, Yeti, Silurians, Sea Devils to name a few. The Sontarans have previously featured four times in the classic series to varying degrees of success and one wonders if they will also be pitted against the Daleks, at the end of the series, as were the Cybermen two years ago - such is Russell’s love of formulaic television.

The TARDIS really travels abroad this year for a fleeting visit to Rome in episode two, “The Fires of Pompeii”. Sorry, Steve, but I doubt they’ll bump into Frankie Howerd, or the lovely Erotica would’ve been even fruitier! And, the time travellers encounter Agatha Christie in episode seven, “The Unicorn and the Wasp”. Together, they investigate a strange murder. Now, there’s a surprise! Rose is in the last four episodes, Martha’s back, Jack’s back, Sarah Jane is back, I’m back, and we get to meet the Doctor’s daughter in episode six. Is she original companion Susan Foreman’s mum? I just love mothers in new “Doctor Who”! And that reminds me, Jackie’s back!! How could I forget and what could be better?!! In the picture, that’s not the Doctor’s new costume, by the way, despite it being in burgundy! That’s what David wore to Billie’s wedding. The new series starts in, precisely, two weeks time on Saturday, April 5 on BBC One, hour to be confirmed though presumably around 7pm. Meanwhile, if you can’t wait or you’re curious, or both, you can see the trailer tonight, for the first time, again on BBC One at 7.05pm or online straight after. The surgery is open and it’s sooner than you think!

Happy Birthday, Peter!

56 Today!