Undercover, Underwired Underwear!

The latest series of ‘Undercover Boss’ began on Tuesday, 5th July at 9pm on Channel 4 with a look at adult retailer Ann Summers. CEO Jacqueline Gold is one of Britain’s best known business women. She has developed the family industry away from the domain of the male “raincoat brigade” to a taboo-busting female-friendly high street staple. Too famous to go incognito herself, Jacqueline sent younger sister and Deputy MD Vanessa (pictured) undercover, in amongst the undies, to one of their high-street stores. But little sister Vanessa struggled with some customers’ intimate questions about the products!

You can just imagine it… Browsing in one of the stores, a potential male customer picks up a vibrator, ostensibly for his girlfriend or wife, although one wonders why she’d need it if he was keeping her satisfied, and asks the young attractive female shop assistant if she wouldn’t mind demonstrating how to use the object, on the pretence he’s not exactly familiar with its purpose! Or, maybe he’s not sure how a pair of crotchless panties would suit the love of his life and asks the girl behind the counter if she wouldn’t mind modelling them for him while he sets up his digital camera!! Anyway, you get the picture… I’m glad I don’t work at Ann Summers and have to fend off such questions on a regular basis, although maybe you get used to it.

One thing I’ve often found amusing, in the city in which I live, is that Ann Summers is situated next door to Primark! So the most expensive place to get your knickers is a stone’s throw from the cheapest!!

Flower Power

There I was quietly sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly my ears pricked up on hearing the strains of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” emanating from the television set. Immediately, I looked up. I’m not one for watching commercials. Can’t stand the things if I’m honest. Someone once told me the ads are better than the programmes but I remain unconvinced. Perhaps they are, I just don’t watch the poorer shows the better advertisements, periodically, interrupt. On this occasion, however, it was worth my while. I was greeted with the telly vision that is catwalk model-turned-actress Lily Cole. She really is a stunner. I must have a thing for fiery redheads because the other lady for whom I have a burning passion is, of course, t.A.T.u.’s Lena Katina. These two gorgeous-looking young women top and tail the three hundred-picture twenty-minute slideshow you can view at the foot of this blog. If I had my very own TARDIS, I know which two ladies I’d want to be my companions and their names aren’t Billie Piper or Catherine Tate! Although, even they would be preferable to Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway!! But, why I particularly dislike those two GMTV “presenters” - journalists my arse - is the subject for another day…

The advert in question turns out to be the latest trendy promotion for the Marks and Spencer chain and, in particular, their fashion line. Set on a fairground, other attractions, besides our Lily, include sold-out classical musician-turned-pop-star-turned-television-presenter Myleene Klass and Sixties’ fashion icon Twiggy. Black model Noémie Lenoir sports two sets of natty-looking undies, not at the same time you understand! These include polka dot panties, which she wiggles in close up, and a rather fetching set of pink bra and knickers to match the candy floss on which she is nibbling. I was going to say munching but being a slim model that’s probably unlikely! I expect you can tell, I was paying especially close attention to detail!! It’s all very fast, very slick, very stylish, and unburdened with product detail - different to those commercials insistent on telling you the price of everything where you end up remembering absolutely nothing. “Fashion Fairground” simply promotes a brand. If you’d like to watch it, without sitting through numerous commercial breaks hoping for an appearance from the lovely Lily, simply click on the link on the right to my “Jukebox”! “Put on your red shoes and dance the blues”!! Watching her figure, I can tell you that, at the start, sadly, and I know it’s a missed opportunity, Lily doesn’t actually lick her lolly!!!