The Passing of Sarah Jane Smith

I couldn’t bring myself to call this post “The Death of Sarah Jane Smith” as death is too final a word but I’m saddened to report that actress Elisabeth Sladen has passed away aged just 63 after her battle with cancer. “News at Ten” was muted when I glanced at the screen and recognised a clip from the First Series “The Sarah Jane Adventures” story “Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane Smith?”, where Sarah Jane and Maria are reunited in limbo land! I thought what on earth is this doing on the news and, in an instant, I realised. To say it took me by surprise is an understatement. “Doctor Who” actors have been dying at the rate of one a month but I didn’t expect the next one to be Elisabeth. Towards the end of last year, Graham Crowden was followed by Ingrid Pitt. At the start of this year we lost T P McKenna, who played Captain Cook in “The Greatest Show in the Galaxy”, and, after the news of Brigadier Nicholas Courtney in February, March saw the demise of “The Celestial Toymaker” Michael Gough. And now, here we are in April…

Elisabeth Sladen joined “Doctor Who” in 1973 for Jon Pertwee’s fifth and final season, in the story that also introduced the Sontarans, “The Time Warrior”. Before her first year was out, Sarah Jane saw off Daleks, dinosaurs and Ice Warriors only to watch in disbelief as the third Doctor regenerated into Tom Baker at the end of “Planet of the Spiders”. The DVD of Jon’s final regular adventure only went on sale the day before Elisabeth’s passing. A favourite image of Sarah Jane is the still featured on its cover, spider clinging to her back. She would stay with Tom for a further two-and-a-half years. One of the most memorable Sarah Jane moments came during Tom’s first year, during the seminal “Genesis of the Daleks”, when, fleeing her captors, she falls from scaffolding up which she is climbing and director David Maloney freezes her descent as the cliff-hanger! Breathtaking stuff - even if the resolution, at the start of the next episode, is a bit of a cheat. She was at her most gorgeous in “Planet of Evil” but then Elisabeth was always an extraordinarily good-looking woman.

It is often cited that Elisabeth Sladen’s Sarah Jane Smith broke the mould of “Doctor Who” companions in that she was no screaming bimbo but an investigative journalist with feminist tendencies. I’m not sure she did counteract the trend, even if that was the original intention, because there are certain requirements necessary of the sidekick in melodrama - to ask questions, get into trouble and scream in the face of danger! But Lis pulled off all of these with such great aplomb that her place in the folklore of “Doctor Who” is assured. She played other characters of course, appearing in Frank Spencer sitcom “Some Mothers do ’ave ’em” and semi-regularly in medical drama “Peak Practice”. A couple of years ago, she had the opportunity to act alongside her husband, Brian Miller, in “The Sarah Jane Adventures” Series Three story “The Mad Woman in the Attic”, one of my favourite instalments. Elisabeth also leaves behind her daughter Sadie. In the last interview I saw with her, She stated they were already filming Series Five of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” and one can only hope Elisabeth completed work on the next series and that it will air, as usual, towards the end of the year as a fitting tribute to her.

Telly Visions: Anneke Wills

Despite the four decades that separate them, Anneke Wills and Billie Piper would have rather a lot to talk about if they ever met.

For starters, they are both former child stars who have played Doctor Who's female sidekick. They both won over fans of the sci-fi series with their blonde hair and thick dark lashes. And after closing the Tardis door for the last time, both turned their noses up at Hollywood.

But while 23-year-old Billie bowed out with a new £250,000 BBC role and a six-figure deal to write her autobiography, life wasn't quite so kind to Anneke.

Had anyone ever asked the Sixties star to pen her life story, they would have unveiled an astonishing tale of love and loss a thousand times more remarkable than that of former teen pop star Billie. While Billie recalls the details of her relatively brief life, Anneke is living like a hermit in a remote two-bedroom cottage on the edge of Dartmoor.

She survives on a tiny pension and knows an awful lot about fame and its pitfalls. 'If I could meet Billie now,' she says, 'I'd tell her to take the money and run. Life never quite turns out as you expect it.'

Anyone seeing the reclusive, bespectacled silver blonde woman pottering around her local Devonshire village would find it hard to believe that in her day, Anneke was at the zenith of 1960s celebrity London. Or that she was thrown out of Rada at 17 for 'behaving badly' with Edward Fox. Or that at just 18 she was pregnant with Anthony Newley's child and forced to abort it when he left her for Joan Collins.

Today, Anneke rarely goes out. She is at her happiest tending her vegetables. In a quiet corner of her garden, she has a bathtub set beneath a canopy of trees which is connected up to the kitchen sink by a hose. On summer mornings, she lies in the warm water, taking in the glorious view across the moors and reflecting on the astonishing events of her life.

The truth is that unlike Billie, who has apparently walked away from her youthful marriage to Chris Evans emotionally unscathed, the men in Anneke's life have always been her downfall. As she puts it: 'My heart has been broken several times. I have always been attracted to men who are extremely talented, beautiful and absolute bastards.'

From the start, Anneke's life was like something out of a film. The daughter of a Dutch-born Parisian catwalk model and a Harrow-educated artist descended from Elizabethan sea lord Sir Richard Grenville, she was born in 1941 in a private nursing home near Pinewood Studios. Her parents Anna and Alaric Willys (she later changed her name to Wills) had planned to buy a little house in the South of France but war in Europe put a stop to that.

Alaric, whose gambling left the family in severe debt, became a captain in the British Army and an absent figure. With no money, her mother took on a string of jobs - companion to a blind aristocrat, gardener, teacher - moving Anneke and her brother Robin around the country several times.

At the end of the war, Anna had saved a tidy sum. When Anneke's father returned, she gave it to him and he promptly fled to South Africa with his new lover.

'He left a ten-shilling note on my pillow,' recalls Anneke.

Her nomadic, bohemian childhood continued. In 1952, when she was 11 and living on a houseboat in Bray, Berkshire, she won her first role in a film called Child's Play and gave her £9 fee to her mother.

'I knew then I wanted to be an actor,' she says. 'All the other children in the film, including Peter Sallis (of Last Of The Summer Wine and Wallace and Gromit fame), were going on to drama school and I told my mother I wanted to go, too.'

She studied drama at the Arts Educational School in London and, with the pretty blonde elfin looks inherited from her mother, became one of the most employed child actresses of her generation. Early roles included a part as Roberta in the first TV version of The Railway Children in 1957.

Rada followed at 17, but she was already fast establishing her reputation as a wild child. She lost her virginity at 14 to 'a man who grabbed me in a corridor at a party'. She adds: 'I remember looking in the mirror afterwards to see if I looked any different. I knew what I was doing. I was searching for love. I wanted lots of love.'

One of her early boyfriends was Daphne du Maurier's son, Kits Browning. But Edward Fox, a year above her at Rada, was the first to steal her heart. Their relationship and her wilful attitude to staff resulted in her being asked to leave. They continued their relationship for about a year. She was flying home from Ireland after filming for four weeks with Michael Winner in 1958 when she picked up a newspaper and read that Edward had married actress Tracey Reed.

'My heart was broken,' she says. It was not for the last time. She met Anthony Newley during the filming of his cult TV series The Strange World Of Gurney Slade - she was playing one of his fantasy women.

'He took me by the hand and said: "Come on, Wills darling. You're coming home with me."'

Soon she was living in his London flat, along with Newley's mother, Grace, and his manager. 'It was pretty daring at the time,' admits Anneke. 'But I adored him. He was the most beautiful, talented, funny, sweet man. I couldn't resist him.'

During their year-and-a-half-long relationship, she helped him work on his musical Stop The World - I Want To Get Off.

'They were the happiest times,' she says, 'sitting by the piano writing songs together and I had my own little room as a studio where I could paint - mainly pictures of him and me.'

She knew he was unfaithful, but says: 'He made sure it wasn't under my nose and our little life was kept apart from all that.'

When Anneke discovered at 18 that she was pregnant, Newley took her by the hand and said: 'Darling, don't worry. I'll look after you. You'll have to clean out your studio and turn it into a nursery.'

'I was in heaven,' says Anneke. 'I started throwing myself into the earth mother role.'

Not long after that, Newley left to work in the U.S. and met Joan Collins. The first Anneke knew about it was when she found a telephone message scribbled on a pad in his manager's office. It said: 'Get Wills aborted.'

Abortion

She recalls being taken by Newley's manager to see the two psychiatrists necessary to agree to an abortion.

'No expense was spared,' she says bitterly. 'I was in shock, absolutely heart-broken. I didn't know why he had changed his mind.'

When she finally booked into a clinic in Hampstead for a Caesarean abortion at four-and-a-half months pregnant, she remembers taking a doll with her.

'It was ghastly,' she says. 'I was sobbing my eyes out.'

She moved in with her brother Robin at a flat in Paddington, but when Newley returned to London, she went round to their former home to confront him.

'There were pictures of Joan everywhere,' she says. 'It was obvious then what had happened.'

But despite abandoning her in the most cold-hearted way imaginable, Newley continued to see Anneke. 'He turned up at the flat in the middle of the night throwing stones up at the window,' she says. 'He never stopped loving me. Joan didn't know anything about it.

'There was one amusing incident when we were both having our hair cut at Vidal Sassoon - I realised with horror that Joan was sitting the other side of the mirror. Vidal was loving the drama of it. He said: "So how is Tony, Anneke?"'

Anneke felt no guilt about Joan, instead revelling in the opportunity to get her own back on the woman who had lured away her love. Within months she was pregnant again and determined this time that no one would take her baby.

'I wrote to Tony in New York and told him. I said: "It's my baby and I am not going to claim anything or mention your name. This is my baby and my life."'

By this time, while filming one of the Edgar Wallace mystery series, she had met Michael Gough, the actor who would later play Alfred the butler in four Batman films.

She was pregnant and in need of somewhere to stay and he offered her a room in his house.

'Mick absolutely loved babies,' she says. 'He wanted lots and lots. He let me have a little room and we fell in love. It didn't matter to him that I was pregnant.'

After Gough divorced his second wife, they married at Fulham register office on Valentine's Day 1965. Her daughter Polly, later adopted by Gough, had already been born and Anneke, then 21, was already pregnant again with their son, Jasper.

A year later, she was offered her role as Polly in Doctor Who, earning £90 a week - equivalent now to about £1,000 a week. It seemed to her that life couldn't have been more perfect.

'I loved Doctor Who,' she says. 'I took lessons on how to do the perfect scream without damaging my voice. I was the first sexy companion. My eyelashes were longer than my skirts.

'William Hartnell (the first Doctor) was pretty intimidating to work with, but when he was succeeded by Patrick Troughton it was so much fun.'

Even so, she confidently turned down a second series for fear of being typecast and went on to play the assistant to Anthony Quayle's criminologist in the hit series The Strange Report.

Little did she know that her professional acting career was rapidly drawing to a close.

'They were planning to film the second series in Hollywood,' she explains.

'I had two children and a husband, there was no way I could go.

'Perhaps it would be different today, but there was no way Mick would have come to Hollywood with me. I had to make a choice, but really there was no choice.'

Idyllic

Instead she travelled with Gough to Norfolk, where he was filming The Go Between with Julie Christie and Alan Bates. She found an idyllic Elizabethan farmhouse which they bought and she threw herself into motherhood and gardening.

For years they were happy, but when Gough started work at the National Theatre and returned to Norfolk only at weekends, the cracks in their marriage began to show.

'I was living a very earth mother lifestyle,' she says, 'while Mick was very theatrical and thespian. He had a terrible eye for the ladies. He started coming home less and less and we were having terrible rows.

'I had actually got what everybody said was the perfect formula for happiness - I had the husband, career, the two children and a lovely home. It should have equalled happiness, but it didn't. I felt so alone.

'For two years, I tried to keep it together. I thought I could still be Mrs Gough and an individual. But I was growing away from being his dolly bird. I was becoming a woman.'

The evening they agreed to divorce, she says, they went to bed, cried and held each other. 'We loved each other,' she says smiling. 'But we knew we couldn't continue to make each other so unhappy.'

Like Billie, who recently said she wouldn't take a penny of her ex-husband's millions, Anneke also walked away from her marriage empty-handed.

'Mick used to seethe about giving money to his first two wives,' she says. 'I told him I didn't want a penny. I said I'd rather be friends.'

In fact, what Anneke did next left friends thinking she'd gone slightly mad. While taking a course in meditation in London, she heard the controversial spiritual figure Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.

Leaving behind her 14-year-old daughter Polly, then a boarder at one of the Rudolph Steiner schools in East Sussex, she took 12-year-old Jasper to Poona in India, donned the orange robes of Bhagwan's cult followers and joined his ashram where free love was the order of the day.

'For the first few nights I cried into my pillow,' she says. 'I'd swapped my wonderful home for a mattress in a communal dormitory.

'But there were some wonderful people there - including Terence Stamp. I was a bit bored by the free love thing. I'd had enough of all that. It was the meditation I was interested in.'

She stayed from 1975 to 1981 - at one stage spending ten days blindfolded on a cushion. Later she followed Bhagwan and his disciples to a ranch in Oregon, then to Vancouver where she scraped a living cleaning houses.

It was while she was there, in December 1982, that Gough phoned to tell her that Polly, recently engaged to be married, had been killed in a car crash with her bridesmaid-to-be.

'It was gut-wrenching,' she says. 'She was about to marry a farmer's son, a lovely boy. She had her whole future ahead of her.

'She was driving home and her car hit a patch of ice and skidded into a ditch. She and her friend drowned.'

Perhaps even more poignantly, Polly died never knowing that Newley was her father. 'We never told her,' says Anneke. 'At what point do you tell a child that? Mick had adopted her. She was ours.'

She told her son Jasper, now a photographer at Sotheby's, the truth about Polly's paternity only last year. Anneke adds: 'He listened and he said: "It's no big deal."'

Newley died in 1999, without ever discussing the fact that Polly was his child with Anneke.

When her daughter was still alive, Anneke met up with Newley in New York when Gough was on stage there. 'We had dinner,' she says. 'He showed me pictures of Tara and Sacha, his children with Joan. I showed him pictures of Polly.

'He said she was beautiful, but that was it. We cooed over each other's children. It didn't feel strange to me. I always thought of Polly as mine and Mick's.

'I was devastated to lose her but I always feel that she is here with me.'

Before she finally found peace in Devon, Anneke's life was to take a few more twists and turns.

After Polly's funeral, she returned to America, paid a man $1,000 to marry her so she could get a Green Card and set up her own interior design business.

'It was very common for followers of Bhagwan to do that so we could stay in Oregon,' she explains. 'It lasted as long as it took to get the paperwork stamped - I can't even remember what he was called.'

At 50, Anneke fell in love for the last time - with a 35-year-old deep-sea diver and marine biologist. They married in 1993 in Hornby Island, Canada, where she was living in a community of artists and running an amateur dramatics group.

But after Anneke remortgaged her house to pay for him to go to drama school, he left her for a 23-year-old fellow student.

'I thought: "This is the last time my heart's going to be broken",' she says. 'I couldn't stand it any more. There have been no men for ten years now. I have no need for anyone else. I am enough in myself.'

She returned to England ten years ago, moving first to a little cottage in Purbeck, Dorset, belonging to Edward Fox, with whom she is still friends; then to Devon four years ago, to a worker's cottage on the edge of a farm.

A portrait of her ancestor Sir Richard Grenville hangs on the wall - a reminder of the roots of her remarkable life.

Her memories could undoubtedly produce several autobiographies. But not surprisingly, after so much turbulence in her life, at 65 she craves only peace now.

'I just love it here completely,' she says. 'I love going to sleep surrounded by cows. Weeks go by and I don't talk to anyone. I am perfectly happy on my own. I don't have a single regret. Out of each heartbreak, you grow.

'Isn't that what life is about?'

The intriguing story of Dr Who's sidekick by BARBARA DAVIES, Daily Mail - Last updated at 10:00, 25 July 2006

The courage of One’s convictions

British television is in a terrible state! Michael Grade recently claimed TV to be no worse or better than in the supposed golden age but I think he’s wrong. Well, he’s been wrong before! There isn’t much that’s worth watching and when the powers-that-be secure a drama that is… what do they do with it? They throw it to the dogs before it’s barely been given a chance to attract a following. I’m talking about the new eight-part science fiction series “Outcasts”. Clearly, viewing figures must’ve fallen off sharply during broadcast of the first few episodes because the show has been shifted, after what seems like indecision, to a post-news slot on Sunday evenings. Initially, the programme was transmitted at 9pm on BBC One on Monday and Tuesday in the slots vacated by “Silent Witness”. This schedule lasted a fortnight. With four episodes released, “Outcasts” was already halfway through. With four left, surely the schedule would remain the same? No! Episode five went out in its Monday slot but, the following day, new legal-eagle drama “Silk” got underway. Glancing at the following week’s listings, there was no sign of “Outcasts” either on Monday or Tuesday! That’s because it had moved again… this time to Sunday at 10.25pm, or thereabouts (programmes following the news always start late), to a slot recently used for weekly repeats of “The Apprentice”!

The explanation for the turmoil surrounding the broadcast of “Outcasts” is simple. It’s science fiction. Nobody’s interested. It doesn’t matter. Even though, when the genre is at its best, science fiction can go a long way in explaining the human condition, programmes with a truly creative streak are still treated with utter contempt. And thus, so is the viewer. How ironic the corporation choose to advertise their online catch-up service with the slogan “Your Very Own BBC”! My very own BBC finished years ago… if it ever started. There is a pecking order of subjects where scheduling falls by the wayside if, for example, Andy Murray has an “important” tennis match (even when the outcome is a certainty) or when a rich, privileged, couple are to marry! I dare the BBC to broadcast repeats of William Hartnell episodes of “Doctor Who” at peak time on their primary channel. Or, at any time on any channel! Hell, sell them to Yesterday, like “Colditz”, if you’re never, ever, going to repeat them. Put the series on instead of the next General Election. People hate science fiction so much, there might be a better turn out at the polling stations! Of course, the BBC are never going to repeat classic “Doctor Who” when they can sell the thing on DVD at £20 a story.

So, what is “Outcasts” about and is it any good? Watch it and discover for yourself! Does the show deserve better treatment? Am I making a fuss about nothing? I’ve seen the series described as “Spooks” in space. That’s probably because Hermione Norris is in it and it’s made by the same company. Daniel Mays is in it too, so perhaps it’s “Ashes to Ashes” in space. It’s made by the same company! Ashley Walters is in it. “Hustle” in space? Jamie Bamber was in the first episode. “Law & Order: UK” in space? Both made by the same company. OK, you get the picture. Actually, “Outcasts” is more “Survivors” in space, which isn’t made by the same company. It’s not as good as “Survivors” and I’m comparing “Outcasts” with the remake. Where it does score is in the very fact that it isn’t a reworking like so many. “Doctor Who”, “Survivors”, “The Day of the Triffids”, “The Prisoner”… all tell us when the golden age of television was. “Outcasts” is something trying to be new although it contains little that wasn’t made on the cheap in “Genesis of the Daleks”… in 1975. “Genesis” is one of the best “Doctor Who” stories though. Well, it’s a little late to start following the much-more expensive, shot in South Africa, “Outcasts”, if you aren’t already, as the series finishes this Sunday and I doubt very much that it has been re-commissioned. “Outcasts” has been cast out!

Remembering the Brigadier

Nicholas Courtney, aka Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, is sadly no longer with us… at least in person. But he has left behind an immeasurable contribution to my favourite television series, “Doctor Who”, ensuring he will never be forgotten. It all started when director Douglas Camfield cast him as Bret Vyon, opposite first Doctor William Hartnell, in the epic twelve-part story “The Daleks’ Master Plan” in the mid-Sixties. Nick and Dougie clearly had a good working relationship because when the director was hired to oversee the reconstruction of the London Underground, for the Patrick Troughton adventure “The Web of Fear”, the actor was cast as Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart, ready to battle the Yeti in those dark, dank tunnels. A year-or-so later and Lethbridge-Stewart was back, this time promoted to Brigadier, in the eight-part Cyber-infestation “The Invasion”, engaging the silver giants down in the sewers of London and on the steps of St. Paul’s. It’s surprising the term Brigadier ever became a watchword in “Doctor Who” circles because the rank is actually a demotion from Colonel! Even more ironic is that Camfield was an ex-military man and could’ve had the error in the script corrected. But, in retrospect, maybe it’s just as well the mistake was left in because it gave birth to one of the series’ most-enduring and popular characters.

By the time the second Doctor regenerated into Jon Pertwee, and black-and-white pictures gave way to colour, Nick Courtney became a regular on “Doctor Who”. The year was now 1970. The Doctor has been banished to Earth to reluctantly work as scientific advisor to military outfit UNIT, the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, tracking all manner of alien invasion in the style of “Quatermass”! In “Inferno”, just as Patrick Troughton had as Salamander in “The Enemy of the World”, Nicholas is given the opportunity to play an evil version of the Brigadier, the Brigade Leader, resplendent in Blofeld-style eye-patch, when the Doctor ends up on a parallel Earth. A year on sees Nick given one of his most memorable lines in “The Daemons”, “Chap with wings, five rounds rapid!” His time as a regular essentially came to an end when it was time for a new producer to be appointed. “Robot”, Tom Baker’s first story was Barry Letts’ last. New producer Philip Hinchcliffe naturally had new ideas and wanted to direct the series towards a gothic influence. Nick, however, would return occasionally, seeing off the Loch Ness Monster in “Terror of the Zygons”. By the time Peter Davison was the Doctor, Alistair was teaching maths at a boarding school for boys in “Mawdryn Undead”. The twentieth anniversary adventure, “The Five Doctors”, gave the character another of those immortal lines, describing the Doctor as a “marvellous chap, all of them!”

In the final series of classic “Doctor Who”, Alistair Gordon is now retired and married to Doris, played in episodes one and four of “Battlefield” by the lovely Angela Douglas. It was rumoured, at the time, that the Brigadier was to be killed off but, luckily, has a last minute reprieve against the Destroyer. The story includes a poignantly reverberating scene where seventh Doctor Sylvester McCoy cradles his friend’s head in his hands, believing him to be dead, and calls him a “thick-headed numbskull”. The only Doctor Nick hadn’t acted with by the end of the Eighties was the sixth, Colin Baker. Producer John Nathan-Turner corrected this omission, after the show’s cancellation, with the 1993 “Children in Need” Special “Dimensions in Time”. This wasn’t to be the last appearance of the character on television. A few years ago, the Brig resurfaced aiding-and-abetting Miss Smith in the Season Two finale of “The Sarah Jane Adventures”. This story has become his swansong. Former Doctor Tom Baker remembered Nicholas Courtney as “a wonderful companion” with “a marvellous resonant voice”. Quite a legacy and to paraphrase a line from the aforementioned “Battlefield”, Nick just did the best he could!

Warden’s Watch: Primeval - Series Four, Episode Four

“Primeval”? Unbelievable! Very watchable but totally unrealistic. It’s not the idea of a horde of rampaging deadly therocephalians breaking through a time anomaly, while on the lookout for their next meal, which I have difficulty accepting but the reality in which these fantastical notions are set. In this week’s episode, similar to the one set in a shopping mall in the second series, a Saturday morning school detention is thrown into chaos by prehistoric events as indeed they would be if only the classroom antics were remotely plausible. The synopsis in my listings guide led me to expect to see “the pupils run riot”! Well, there were only three students being punished and they all seemed pretty well behaved to me. Dickheads but models of middleclass respectability! The two lads in the trio had made a nasty smell in the chemistry lab - probably something they ate at lunch! - so, instead of the teacher encouraging their obvious enthusiasm for the subject, the poor lads get a bollocking. These days, I don’t think teenagers would be detained for such a minor misdemeanour. And, if they were, they’d probably tell the teacher to fuck off rather than give up their free morning - assuming they attend school in the first place. Then there was the wee lassie completing the group, supposedly Miss unattainable! She was a proper little madam, snotty, antisocial with her iPod (why wasn’t it confiscated?) while unattractively dressed - mixing a short skirt with leggings. I can’t imagine what the boys saw in her!

I am sick of being told, about any series, that the latest season is darker than previous efforts. Still, it was certainly the case with the latest instalment of “Primeval” - so poorly lit I couldn’t see a thing! Seriously though, the darkness was laid on with a trowel, signposted in big black letters by the early demise of the supposed school princess, while bouncing up and down on a trampoline in the gym! Two series ago, Professor Cutter rescued a little girl who went through an anomaly after her dog. She was safely returned to her stepfather, their relationship miraculously restored, but, three years later, the little bitch in the latest adventure has to die. Yup, it sure is gloomier these days chasing dinosaurs. Hannah Spearritt’s character, Abby, has also become even more of a misery guts than she used to be. In series one, she used to prance around in her knickers, better dressed then than she is now! Give her some credit though, she has stayed with the show longer than Billie Piper stayed with “Doctor Who”. And, on the plus, there is a new girl working at the Anomaly Research Centre (ARC) who, I’m happy to report, does have a keen dress sense. Ruth Kearney plays operations controller Jess Parker who is more than a distraction from all the excesses of the CGI! Whether or not she would be so impractically dressed brings me neatly back to the question of credibility though I can’t have it both ways. Make up your own minds should you choose to watch the repeat tonight at 8pm on ITV2!

Santa banter!

I’d like to take the opportunity to wish readers of this journal a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous, or perhaps in the current economic climate that should read preposterous, New Year! Don’t worry, the ordeal will be over in a few days!! Then, we can stop kidding ourselves and get back to the real world. Why so many of us, sheepishly, centre our hopes and dreams around these few days when it might be just that little bit warmer during August, I’ll never understand. Still, the children seem to like it and that’s all that matters, right? As long as I don’t have to listen to that awesomely awful, utterly insincere, record by Mariah Carey (again), I should be able to keep my thoughts to myself.

What is there to distract each and every misery guts, like myself, on the big day?

There are at least five different versions of the Scrooge story on terrestrial television, on Christmas Day, to keep us company. If you’re up really early, you can catch “Dani’s House” at 7am on BBC2 in a seasonal repeat entitled “Scrooge Tube”. Harmer’s annoying younger screen-brother learns the true meaning of Christmas when visited by the ghosts of Christmas past.

“Scrooged” is on Channel 4 at 1pm if you prefer your comedy American. Bill Murray plays a TV executive planning a season of violence for the festive break. I still have my light blue “Get SCROOGED With BILL MURRAY” badge which I was given by a rep to promote the film back in 1988. In fact, I’m wearing it. You think I’m joshing?

Staying across the Atlantic, “The Grinch” is on ITV1 at 3.10pm. Dr Seuss’s cult children’s favourite “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” gets the big-budget Hollywood treatment in this seasonal spectacular from director Ron Howard. More detailed reviews of these two films can be found on page 82 of the current Radio Times. Other listings magazines are available.

Quintessentially British, despite originally being (partly) devised by a Canadian, “Doctor Who” is back on our screens at the Unearthly hour of 6pm on BBC1. In “A Christmas Carol” the only way the Doctor can rescue Amy and Rory, trapped on a crashing space liner, is by saving the soul of a lonely old miser played by Michael Gambon. I don’t have the foggiest what’s in the fog!

Ending up back where we started, on BBC2, “Blackadder’s Christmas Carol” is at 8.35pm. Like “Scrooged”, this special was made in 1988 but flips the traditional Dickens’ story on its head. And, if you’re in need of something with a pretty “Doctor Who” companion, this extended episode briefly features Peri actress Nicola Bryant. What more could you want?

Warden’s Watch Special: Highlights of the Year

It hasn’t been a particularly memorable year for those of us interested in brilliantly-crafted television drama. The fifth series of new “Doctor Who” was disappointing but my expectations weren’t that high to begin with. I worried that, under Steven Moffat, the stories would become increasingly esoteric and my fears proved well-founded. One of the problems is that, creatively, the most-successful stories written by both the new Executive Producer and Mark Gatiss were the ones they wrote back in 2005 for Christopher Eccleston! It’s a bit like Ben Aaronovitch trying to top “Remembrance of the Daleks”, in the late Eighties, and coming up with the vastly-inferior “Battlefield”, itself a reworking of one of his earlier scripts. The irony is that the finest story of the year to feature the new, eleventh, Doctor, played brilliantly by Matt Smith, was one of “The Sarah Jane Adventures”! And, to compound the irony, “Death of the Doctor” was the one written by Russell!! It almost made me feel sorry he’s gone and I’m sure that that was his intention. This third story in the fourth series of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” was equalled, if not bettered, two stories later by Rupert Laight’s “Lost in Time”, a two-episode reworking of an entire twenty-six episode (“The Key to Time”) season of classic “Doctor Who”. With segments reminiscent of “Ghost Light” and “The Curse of Fenric”, and another nodding to the Hartnell historicals, the story gently acknowledged the 47th anniversary of “Doctor Who” with the dateline of the newspaper cutting which the three adventurers had initially set out to investigate.

Aside from stories set in space and time, another mainstay of 2010 has been the continuing dreamlike-investigations of American “Medium” Allison DuBois. Freeview viewers have got as far as Season Five while, if you subscribe to satellite, then you’re enjoying Season Six and, for the more impatient among us, Season Seven episodes have been materialising on the internet from the early hours of Saturday mornings for the ten weeks up to the beginning of December with the remaining six scheduled to resume in the New Year! It’s a miracle the show is still with us, having been picked up by CBS after cancellation, while other series, such as “Heroes”, have fallen by the wayside. Back in the UK, we were treated to the second, and sadly final, series of “Survivors” which I believe to be a more successful reworking of an old hit than the reincarnation and enduring saga of everyone’s favourite Time Lord. Why the BBC have picked up ITV’s “Primeval” and dumped their own is beyond me! I wasn’t as enamoured by Season Six of “Hustle”, at the beginning of the year, as I was Season Five in 2009, despite guest appearances by Brian Murphy, Colin Baker and Danny Webb. Last year it was given a new lease of life with the introduction of two new regular characters, as well as the return of a familiar face, so, by this year, the con seemed to have settled back into a familiar routine once again. On the other hand, “Spooks” has benefited from the introduction of new characters! Still not as good as when Rupert Penry-Jones led the cast, Season Nine was a distinct improvement over recent years. “Luther” was this year’s detective success story, although I’m sure there are those who preferred Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’s modernisation of “Sherlock”, but it doesn’t look as though the BBC know where to take Idris Elba’s character next as there isn’t to be a second series as such, just a couple of one-hour specials! Bizarre or what?!

The real triumphs of the year came in the form of selected repeats. I’m not talking about the endless rotation of “Inspector Morse”, “Poirot”, “A Touch of Frost” and “Foyle’s War”, for the older generation on ITV3, or the constant repetition of “The Sweeney”, “The Professionals”, “Minder” and “The Prisoner”, for real men on ITV4, as good as all these series undoubtedly are, but a couple of gems that have surfaced on Yesterday. First was a rerun of the six-part Dennis Potter serial “Lipstick on Your Collar”, originally a Channel Four conclusion to the musical trilogy begun and continued on the BBC with “Pennies from Heaven” and “The Singing Detective” but much-underrated in their shadow! Secondly, and unquestionably one of the ten best series ever to come out of Britain, the two seasons of “Colditz” have recently enjoyed a long-overdue re-screening. The first season is the most consistent, especially when dealing with the psychological aspects of imprisonment rather than boy’s own heroics, while the second suffered a smidgen after the “escape” of Edward Hardwicke’s Pat Reid though his replacement, a new character in the German ranks played with thorough viciousness by Anthony Valentine, aids the drama in delving into the infighting of Nazi politics of the time. There’s no incidental music to tell you what to think or how to feel just bloody good writing, acting and directing from the likes of “Doctor Who” stalwarts Michael Ferguson and Terence Dudley. They just don’t make thought-provoking series like “Colditz” anymore.

The Twelve Doctors

Actor Sylvester McCoy has said he would be keen to return to “Doctor Who” for its fiftieth anniversary.

McCoy, who played the seventh Doctor from 1987 to 1989 (his last regular appearance was twenty-one years ago to the day, on 6th December), said fans wanted a multi-Doctor story to mark the programme’s golden jubilee in 2013.

Sylvester, now 67, also suggested that earlier Doctors - played by actors who have since died - could be brought back using computer technology.

“They’ve got such imaginations, they could do anything,” McCoy added. “I was a lucky little fellow to get that job,” he concluded.

Cynics may suggest Sylvester could simply be “touting for business”, to quote “Revelation of the Daleks”, but I believe he was sincere in his proposal. He doesn’t necessarily need the work. He’s participating in an Evelyn Waugh stage production well into the New Year before heading off to New Zealand to work on Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit”. McCoy was actually down to the last two for the role of Bilbo Baggins in “The Lord of the Rings”. The other actor got it, and that was Ian Holm. Sylvester also continues to work on “Doctor Who” audio dramas so he’s keeping busy! He did once say that he shouldn’t have been in the 1996 American “Doctor Who” TV movie, not because he didn’t want to be but because they should’ve started afresh rather than change lead actors thirty minutes into the story! Introducing the concept of regeneration so early into a revamp, and to an American audience unfamiliar with the idea, was one of the reasons, he believed, the production ultimately failed. I’m curious to know how he thinks a multi-Doctor story might succeed…

And, I’m not sure how much truth there is in the notion that die-hard “Doctor Who” fans want a multi-Doctor story. They’ve not always been amongst the show’s most successful adventures. There were three official ones in the classic era of the series, “The Three Doctors”, “The Five Doctors” and “The Two Doctors” celebrating the tenth, twentieth and twenty-first anniversaries of the programme respectively. My favourite of these is the latter. It was skilfully written by Robert Holmes but let down by poor direction. Robert rejected authorship of the previous celebratory offering on the grounds that its spec included too many leading characters. While “The Five Doctors” might be fun, sharing the limelight with all your illustrious predecessors and numerous companions, and enemies, proved Holmes’s fears well-founded. “The Two Doctors” is more focused with fewer actors, and a longer playing time enables it to highlight the banter between the chosen incarnations, together with their respective companions, to greater effect. By the time we reach 2013, Matt Smith’s eleventh Doctor is likely to have regenerated into a twelfth and the problem, as Holmes saw it, will be all the more compounded.

The Countess was a Vamp

Hammer horror actress Ingrid Pitt, best known for starring in cult classics such as “Countess Dracula”, has died at the age of 73.

The Polish-born star passed away at a hospital in south London after collapsing a few days ago.

She was regarded by many fans as the queen of Hammer Horror films.

The star’s death comes weeks after film-maker Roy Ward Baker, who directed Pitt in “The Vampire Lovers”, died at the age of 93.

Many will remember Ingrid for her two guest appearances in “Doctor Who”, particularly for her role as Queen Galleia in the Jon Pertwee story “The Time Monster” back in 1972. Her character in that story provided what almost amounted to a romantic interest for the Doctor’s nemesis, The Master, played with great panache by the late Roger Delgado. Ironic that she died on the programme’s 47th anniversary.

It’s interesting to read what she thought of the new version of “Doctor Who”… “Great stories. Acting - brilliant! Photography - superb. Effects - stunning! BUT....... I do miss the shaky sets, the Marks and Spencers wardrobe, the discontinuity. Now we are so overwhelmed by the professionalism of television that it is hard to feel connected. We are chained to the sofa while we are lasered with the latest state of the art technology. You can never tell if what you are seeing is real or the product of CGI. At least in its first incarnation you knew that the cardboard walls, Bacofoil interiors and Domestos bottle spaceships were the real McCoy. And sex! Come on now. The whole point of the Doctor is that he is far above such earthly pleasures. We aren’t even sure if, under the costume, he has the necessary equipment. After all - he is an alien.”

Bristol’s knockers!

A US man has been arrested after an armed stand-off with police - which began when he shot his TV set because he did not like what he saw on “Dancing with the Stars”. Can’t say I blame him but couldn’t he have changed the channel or simply switched it off?

Wisconsin man Steven Cowan, 67, was allegedly upset by the performance of Bristol Palin, the daughter of politician Sarah Palin, on the celebrity dance show.

Court documents revealed that Cowan was “fed up with politics” and thought Palin “wasn’t a very good dancer”. I’m considering sending him recordings of Ann Widdecombe. And, since when did not being the best mover in the world stop someone gyrating on the box? Hasn’t he heard of the talent-free zone that is pole dancer Lady Gaga?!

Anyway, after blasting the television at his home, Cowan pointed the gun at his wife Janice. The harassed woman escaped and managed to call the cops.

Not being a country known for low-key, a SWAT team surrounded the couple’s farmhouse and negotiators eventually persuaded Cowan to give himself up. You couldn’t make this stuff up and have it believed yet the law was clearly taking the situation seriously and taking no chances!

Cowan’s wife said her husband had been drinking when he sat down to watch “Dancing with the Stars”. Well, how else is a poor guy meant to sit through such quality programming?!

When Palin began her routine, Cowan jumped up and began swearing. Steady on, old man, but I bet it’s not the first time big-breasted Bristol has elicited such a response.

Janice Cowan said Steven was upset that a political figure’s daughter was dancing on TV even though he felt Bristol had no discernible talent. Anyone can see she has at least two although they don’t necessarily make a tiptop dancer, however visually arresting!