The girl next door?

Rihanna has been in the headlines again this week, prompting discussions as to the suitability of her live shows for those of a young, impressionable age. “She has to push the boundaries,” enlightened ex-Atomic Kitten singer Liz McClarnon, on Monday’s edition of The Wright Stuff! Does she? Is she? Why? Which boundaries are those, Liz? Musically, like most pop stars, she hasn’t a clue. DJ Tony Blackburn disagrees with me, claiming Rihanna to be very talented and with no real need to overtly sexualise her every single action. And these are the boundaries under discussion, social mores. But, even here, she’s not really doing anything that hasn’t been done before, manifold. In my youth, I was keen on a five-piece all-female band from America called The Runaways. They appeared on the scene around the same time as Blondie and I, for one, found them more appealing than Debbie Harry and the guys! I was older though, than the children parents are taking to see Rihanna simulating sex and sing about guys not being able to get it up! But the lead singer of The Runaways, Cherie Currie, dressed equally as provocatively, in a basque, knickers, stockings and suspenders, whilst triumphantly exclaiming, in their debut single Cherry Bomb, she was gonna, “have you, grab you, ’til you’re sore!”

I saw The Runaways live twice, once in Birmingham, in an enormous converted railway shed - the name of which escapes me, and latterly at The Hammersmith Odeon, London. I suppose, in retrospect, the Brummie gig was the more memorable experience. I was right at the front of the stage, with Cherie, who must be about the same age as me, spreading her legs directly in my face with only a small piece of cotton separating her womanhood from my leering eyes… and those of a thousand other young innocents! I also remember vast tables selling paperbacks including American prints of Space: 1999 novelisations, but that’s another music in a different kitchen!! When I saw the band for the second and last time, Miss Currie had departed, for whatever reason, and Joan Jett had taken centre stage. The Queens Of Noize, as they were nicknamed after the title of their second album, perhaps wanted to be taken more seriously. As a four-piece, they were less glam rock and more hard rock. They were in the UK to promote their latest album, Waitin’ For The Night. The lead single, School Days, has the deepest pressing of any in my collection and is probably the loudest piece of vinyl I own! It’s definitely not as loud on the album, despite being exactly the same recording!

Joan is probably better known, now, as the singer of I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll with her band The Blackhearts. This song was covered by Britney Spears. She, herself, caused controversy for dressing up as a schoolgirl in her debut video for Baby, One More Time. About the same time, Russian duo t.A.T.u. were appalling the easily shocked, running around kissing each other wearing only vagina-hugging panties and see-through shirts. Both Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova have since appeared topless in the uncensored promo for White Robe. Lena takes off her knickers, too, so maybe Rihanna still has some way to go in pushing those social boundaries. Lena’s not the first. I recall a member of L7 pulling her trousers down during a performance on Channel 4’s The Word and giving us all a glimpse of her pubic hair. Can’t remember what the song was! As for lyrics, pop records have always been predominantly about sex. Gary Glitter was chanting Do Ya Wanna Touch Me?, which Joan Jett has covered, back in the early Seventies and bragging he was “the man who put the bang in gang”, so why his later activities came as any surprise is beyond me! And so the debate goes on, with Rihanna the latest in a long line advocating promiscuity of one sort or another but as Mick once put it, “It’s Only Rock ‘N’ Roll… but I like it…”

Flower Power

There I was quietly sitting there, minding my own business, when suddenly my ears pricked up on hearing the strains of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” emanating from the television set. Immediately, I looked up. I’m not one for watching commercials. Can’t stand the things if I’m honest. Someone once told me the ads are better than the programmes but I remain unconvinced. Perhaps they are, I just don’t watch the poorer shows the better advertisements, periodically, interrupt. On this occasion, however, it was worth my while. I was greeted with the telly vision that is catwalk model-turned-actress Lily Cole. She really is a stunner. I must have a thing for fiery redheads because the other lady for whom I have a burning passion is, of course, t.A.T.u.’s Lena Katina. These two gorgeous-looking young women top and tail the three hundred-picture twenty-minute slideshow you can view at the foot of this blog. If I had my very own TARDIS, I know which two ladies I’d want to be my companions and their names aren’t Billie Piper or Catherine Tate! Although, even they would be preferable to Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway!! But, why I particularly dislike those two GMTV “presenters” - journalists my arse - is the subject for another day…

The advert in question turns out to be the latest trendy promotion for the Marks and Spencer chain and, in particular, their fashion line. Set on a fairground, other attractions, besides our Lily, include sold-out classical musician-turned-pop-star-turned-television-presenter Myleene Klass and Sixties’ fashion icon Twiggy. Black model Noémie Lenoir sports two sets of natty-looking undies, not at the same time you understand! These include polka dot panties, which she wiggles in close up, and a rather fetching set of pink bra and knickers to match the candy floss on which she is nibbling. I was going to say munching but being a slim model that’s probably unlikely! I expect you can tell, I was paying especially close attention to detail!! It’s all very fast, very slick, very stylish, and unburdened with product detail - different to those commercials insistent on telling you the price of everything where you end up remembering absolutely nothing. “Fashion Fairground” simply promotes a brand. If you’d like to watch it, without sitting through numerous commercial breaks hoping for an appearance from the lovely Lily, simply click on the link on the right to my “Jukebox”! “Put on your red shoes and dance the blues”!! Watching her figure, I can tell you that, at the start, sadly, and I know it’s a missed opportunity, Lily doesn’t actually lick her lolly!!!

Whiter than White!

I feel I should apologise unreservedly for the gratuitous use of the word “knickers” in my previous post! I had no idea it could cause anyone the least offence. While I’m at it, I would also like to express deep regret for mentioning the unmentionable - “bra and panties” if you missed it, or couldn’t be bothered reading the text accompanying the supposedly salacious shot of t.A.T.u.’s lovely Lena! Following the premiere of Julie Walters vehicle “Filth: The Mary Whitehouse Story” last Wednesday evening, I bring the matter to your attention, now, upon the realisation that, were she still alive, Mary Whitehouse would not have found my article “appropriate”. But, then, she seems to have had no sense of humour whatsoever…

There is the possibility that the BBC are partially responsible for this country’s continuing decline in moral standards, whatever they may be, but to make a complaint, even back in 1967, over the airing of The Beatles’ witty classic “I Am The Walrus” defies belief! Mary was worried about the then-forthcoming transmission of the group’s “Magical Mystery Tour” TV movie, scheduled for broadcast on Boxing Day of said year, when many families would be watching, no doubt assuming that any mention of ladies’ lingerie would be a corrupting influence on impressionable minds. I find it hard to imagine the tireless campaigner listening to any pop record with such intensity, ready to jot down the slightest deviancy! The offending lyric, which caused Mrs Whitehouse much concern, reads…

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog’s eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen,
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.

The inspiration for Lennon’s lyric actually comes from a playground nursery rhyme…

Yellow matter custard, green slop pie,
All mixed together with a dead dog’s eye,
Slap it on a butty, ten foot thick,
Then wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

You could argue that the latter is more offensive than the former, certainly more disgusting, yet these words were heard out of the mouths of babes and sucklings long before the advent of the Nanny State. But the word that bothered Mary was “knickers”. The undergarment is simply an item of clothing, a piece of cloth, so I can only assume it was the association, that said piece of material actually comes into contact with a woman’s vagina, which bothered her. This says more about her state of mind than anything else! Surely, next post, I should apologise for using the word “vagina” but at least I didn’t use the vulva term “pussy” or, worse still, “cunt”!!

In the Eye of the Beholder

t.A.T.u. have released an extended video of “White Robe”, the lead single from their third studio album “Waste Management”, in which both Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova appear naked. Whether or not screen nudity upsets you, it isn’t in the least bit sensationalistic and works in the context of the narrative. Yulia is seen in the shower, water gushing over her breasts. In the original edit, the images were cropped to keep them hidden from view. Second time around, a close-up of one of her nipples is probably intended to suggest, in light of the closing revelation, that her breasts are full of milk ready to feed her unborn child. No doubt, some will suggest this is a marketing ploy. Red-headed Lena’s motives for stripping on camera are a little less clear, other than that she needs to change for work! At the start, she seems to be returning from a night on the town but it’s unclear whether or not she is moonlighting as a hooker. Her skirt is short enough to reveal her red knickers. These, in turn, are tight enough to show the cheeks of her bottom. She later removes them, together with her black bra and torn stockings, whilst lying flat on her back on her bed.

I believe the t.A.T.u. girls should’ve gone a stage further, at the end of the story, in the build up to Yulia’s execution. Rather than removing only the “White Robe” of the prisoner, it might’ve increased her vulnerability had the prison warders taken off Yulia’s bra and panties as well. With all “armour” removed, and heavily pregnant, it would have the effect of making the girl look completely defenceless. But, it’s only a minor quibble. However, I’m not sure the addition of a laughing audience, watching the “termination” of these two lives, adds significantly to the impact of the clip. I’ve never subscribed to the notion of nudity as naughty! None of it here relates, in any way, to sex but simply shows both characters as human. The girls are beautiful both in and out of clothes. After we’ve seen Lena completely naked, she appears in fresh underwear, distancing herself from her humanity by dressing in the uniform of executioner. To be honest, I think the shorter version of the song, which I posted back in January on my Jukebox blog, works better. Both realisations are hard-hitting though, regardless of preference!

“The Best”?!!

A t.A.T.u. greatest hits package, mostly comprising tracks from their first two studio albums, was released last year and passed me by unnoticed which, considering I consider myself a bit of a fan, surprised me when I found out earlier in the week! Perhaps I was unaware of it because I wasn’t expecting it. How many groups release a compilation after such a relatively short time on the pop music scene? This suggests, therefore, that they expect their success to be short-lived and that time is running out for them to cash in on their popularity. Maybe I’m over cynical but I get the feeling that they’re not particularly popular in the UK anyway! Save their number one hit single, “All the Things She Said”, I’m sure most people are hard pushed to name another song by the female duo. Participating in the Eurovision Song Contest probably didn’t help their credibility, even if it was an honour to represent their country, and not winning is always something of an embarrassment for a well-established name. I’ve always thought the UK might do better if we entered someone like Girls Aloud but they probably wouldn’t want to risk their reputation, such as it is, for the reasons already stated in relation to t.A.T.u..

On the other hand, the t.A.T.u. album, “The Best”, is certainly value for money in terms of quantity, especially if you haven’t invested in any of their back catalogue. It contains twenty tracks while the deluxe edition also comes with a DVD. Surprisingly, the CD opens with “All About Us”, the lead single from their second album “Dangerous and Moving”. The title “All About Us” rather-literally indicates what is to follow! The single was a number one in foreign climes but not in this country. “Dangerous and Moving” seemed only to receive a limited release here. I saw the single in supermarkets but not the collection from which it was taken, prompting me to ask, at the time, if they would be stocking it… for which I received the usual bemused look! If Asda, and such places, want to dominate in this arena, they’re going to have to work a little harder. If they don’t want to stock a, presumably, major release by a well-known pop artist, choice will become incredibly restricted for the consumer, if it isn’t already. It’s not like I was asking for “Pithoprakta” by Xenakis or Ligeti’s “Lontano”!

I was dubious about the choice of “The Best” for the title, too, rather than “The Best of”, a seemingly-insignificant distinction, you might think, but the former implies a somewhat arrogant assumption. Then I discovered the record was originally going to be called “The Chrysalis Period”! Seeing as t.A.T.u. are pop stars with SF inclinations, perhaps the girls should follow Billie and Kylie into “Doctor Who”!!

Friend or Foe?

I suppose this contradicts what I was saying in my last post, to a certain extent, but we are all full of contradictions! "Friend or Foe" is the new single by t.A.T.u. out this week, taken from their second album "Dangerous and Moving". Reviews have been poor, asking what happened to the t.A.T.u. that gave us "All the Things She Said", but all the trademark sonorities are still in place... high vocal line, synthesiser solo etc.

The song is by Dave Stewart, Annie Lennox's sparring partner firstly in The Tourists, who I saw support Roxy Music in Leicester before they became famous, and more recently in Eurythmics. A few years back Stewart worked with Bryan Ferry on his solo album "Frantic". The sleeve of the new t.A.T.u. CD single was taken by Bryan Adams and the track itself features ex-Police frontman Sting on bass! One reviewer described Stewart/Adams/Sting as the unholy trinity. I don't quite know what religion has to do with it?!!

Pictured at the piano is Lena Katina, one half of the duo t.A.T.u., during the shooting of the video for "Friend or Foe". It is unlikely to be number one this Sunday. That dubious honour will no doubt fall to Leo Sayer for only the second time in his career.