Return of the Rani!

The names of the six new narratives comprising Series Four of “The Sarah Jane Adventures”, as usual running over twelve episodes, have been detailed as follows…

4.1 & 4.2 “The Nightmare Man”
by Joseph Lidster

4.3 & 4.4 “The Vault of Secrets”
by Phil Ford

4.5 & 4.6 “Death of the Doctor”
by Russell T Davies

4.7 & 4.8 “The Empty Planet”
by Gareth Roberts

4.9 & 4.10 “Lost in Time”
by Rupert Laight

4.11 & 4.12 “Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith”
by Gareth Roberts & Clayton Hickman

The series is expected to be the biggest and best yet (don’t they always say that?), due to the support from CBBC, and hosts some brand new villains including The Nightmare Man, The Dark Horde, Men in Black, Tudors and Nazis!

Julian Bleach, who appeared in “Doctor Who” as Davros, two years ago, and previously played The Ghostmaker in “Torchwood”, guest stars in the opening story of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” as The Nightmare Man. This new character is rumoured to be his scariest villain to date (again, don’t they always say that?)!! Will Julian be the only actor to have appeared in all three titles?

If I Were Davros…

It’s no secret that under Russell T. Davies I’ve found “Doctor Who” to be severely lacking! Whereas “Fury from the Deep”, a six-part story from the late Sixties, carries an inspiring ecological subtext about the dangers of not replenishing the Earth’s natural resources upon bleeding them dry, modern “Doctor Who” appears to be about nothing in particular except sitting on your arse all day watching the telly on a council estate! No wonder I feel cheated!! If I wanted to watch the latter, I could tune into crap like “EastEnders” or open the back door. I want to watch the former served up as a metaphor featuring weed creatures rising up out of the sea to take their revenge with the aid of poison gas exhaling humans. I want terror not soap. So, if I was about to inherit the mantle of show runner instead of Steven Moffat, how would I go about correcting the numerous mistakes made over the last four series? How would I make “Doctor Who”? What would I do if I had the power, if I were Davros…

The first change I would make to “Doctor Who” is in doing away with the single episode story. They do not give enough time for character or plot development and have all but removed the all-important cliff-hanger from the programme. At present, each season gives the viewer ten stories over thirteen episodes. Keeping the thirteen forty-five minute episode format, I would reduce the number of stories to six, five two-parters would be followed by a concluding three-part season finale. This would also be more cost effective in that you are reducing the number of opening nights by four. Jon Pertwee’s producer Barry Letts was very aware of how best to utilise the budget over a full season.

My next major change would be to do away with the season arc. Under Russell, we’ve had Bad Wolf, Torchwood, Saxon and, most recently, the return of Rose. Without exception, all failures. Each of my six stories would be self-contained, with no linking devices. Trying to keep your audience hooked Russell’s way is doomed to failure if the final episode fails to deliver. Give your public half-a-dozen strongly written, well executed, stories, excitingly concluded, so they’ll want to return for more instead of trying to twist their arm into staying with the programme only to receive a smack in the face like the Doctor at the hands of the parody Master in “Last of the Time Lords”!

Another important change would be to do away with companion’s families. I’m sick to death of the Doctor touching base every other week, at his latest travelling partner’s domicile. It’s alright to start off with an assistant’s familial attachments, such as when Peri was introduced in “Planet of Fire”, but to keep revisiting home turf is way too safe for a series originally steeped in fear and terror. What a shame they didn’t lop off the final fifteen minutes of the concluding episode, this year, and keep it to forty-five minutes, rather than allowing the writer’s excessive over-indulgence. Reign it in, edit, do away with superfluous material. Get rid of the baggage!

One Doctor, one companion. Throughout. No regenerations unless the lead is moving on. If you promise a death, deliver! Russell promised in Season’s Two and Four and went back on his word. Rose didn’t die in battle, unfortunately, and Donna had her memory all-too-conveniently wiped! Absolutely no reset buttons, in any way, shape or form!! I would choose a different writer for each story and, if possible, none would have written for the series before. I wouldn’t insist on writing the finale myself but would like to have a stab at one of the adventures! I’ve no objection to returning monsters, the Ice Warriors - as depicted in their black and white episodes - would be welcome, and wouldn’t insist on naming new ones myself, as Russell did the Ood. I’m pretty certain Verity Lambert didn’t insist Terry Nation call his creations the Daleks!! I think the writer came up with the name all on his lonesome.

So, there you have it. My six-story plan for the next season of “Doctor Who”! I fear it may be too late to give me the job!!

Warden’s Watch: Journey’s End

Disappointment set in right from the outset of the concluding episode of the Fourth Season of Russell T. Davies’s reincarnation of “Doctor Who”. I wanted the writer to go through with the regeneration and have a brand new Doctor conclude a story begun by his predecessor. But, it wasn’t to be. In fact, instead of having no David Tennant, we were actually presented with two of the pesky fella! And, there was me wishfully thinking he was about to get another week off!! It’s not that I dislike the actor, just not overly keen on his portrayal of the character, although I’ve grown to accept it a little more over the recent series. As if to compound my dissatisfaction with the opening of the final instalment, up pops Rose’s Mum, Jackie. Lovely woman and all that, just not my cup of tea. Very convenient, too, that both Rose’s ex, Mickey, and Mrs Tyler should appear, out of the blue, armed to the teeth, guns aimed directly at the two Daleks about to exterminate the suddenly-rather-fragile Sarah Jane Smith. The suddenly-rather-comely Gwen Cooper was also saved by something hitherto unmentioned that the late Toshiko had been working on before her death. Altogether, too convenient. At least, in the case of the Doctor, the resolution of his part in the previous episode’s triple cliff-hanger had been properly set up, that the hand would have its part to play in the denouement of the adventure. The other two instances were cheats, like a whodunit in which the murderer is revealed to be someone who hasn’t appeared in the story until the moment of revelation! It’s not the first time “Doctor Who” has resolved certain demise with the Saturday morning cinema serial approach. 1985’s “The Mark of the Rani” immediately springs to mind, in which a character is inserted into the recap, at the start of the final part, rushing out of a wood to save the seemingly doomed Doctor from the clutches of dastardly death!

Just imagine how different the episode might’ve been had a new dynamic been set up by suddenly, and surprisingly, introducing us to the eleventh Doctor. It would have taken the story, and indeed the series, in a completely new and much welcomed change of direction. I suppose Russell wasn’t ready to do that just yet and, instead, presented the viewer with the ultimate tease. A simple rule of drama is the tighter you tighten the tension, when the balloon is burst, it’s more than likely to be something of a let down. Davies made it hard for the story to recover from this point in and, sadly, it didn’t. Robert Holmes turned down the offer to write “The Five Doctors”, in 1983, citing too many leading men as the reason. And, despite there being plenty of space, the console room of the TARDIS became overcrowded in “Journey’s End” through the writer’s inability to resist this shameless get-together. Because of this, the participation of Davros is restricted. The scientific schemer doesn’t reappear, after last week’s reintroduction following an absence from our screens of almost twenty years, until nearly twenty minutes into the extended second half of the story and is despatched approximately twenty-five minutes later with still over fifteen minutes to run. Yes, on second viewing, I was watching the clock. A whopping twenty-five percent of the final episode is taken up with tearful farewells, making it even more soppy than the gushing conclusion of “Doomsday”, two years ago. On the plus side, Julian Bleach was terrific as Davros and, maybe, deserved more air time considering the iconic stature of the character within the series. Unless you believe less is more which, in just about every other aspect of the production, wasn’t the case. The other standout performance, and not just here but throughout the entire Fourth Season, was that of Bernard Cribbins, a consistently strong character. I like him. I could’ve done with a little more of Eve Myles in her red sweater, too, but that’s a personal preference rather than a dramatic one! Like the two Peter Cushing movies of the Sixties, this was good Dalek material whilst being lousy “Doctor Who”.

Warden’s Watch: The Stolen Earth

Julian Bleach, as the fourth actor to portray Davros, is possibly the best piece of villainous casting in “Doctor Who” since Christopher Gable donned mask as Sharaz Jek in “The Caves of Androzani”, way back in 1984, and certainly the most full-blooded commitment to an adversarial role since Nabil Shaban’s Sil. What a contrast to John Simm’s ridiculously childish portrayal of the Master last year. It’s a little unfortunate the audience has had to wait so long for a performance of this quality but I knew Julian would be near-perfect from the moment I saw him as the Ghostmaker in the “Torchwood” episode “From Out of the Rain”. And, judging from the trailer for the final instalment, the sixty-five minute “Journey’s End”, it looks as though Davros is about to become even more maniacal! Not quite sure what he’s going to do once he’s destroyed every last atom, when there’s nothing left over which to have dominion, but it all sounds like tremendously good fun once you put logic to one side!! It was inevitable diehard fans would claim Mr. Bleach not as good as original Dalek creator Michael Wisher and it’s a fair comment, since the earlier performance set the benchmark just as Hartnell did the Doctor. I enjoy Terry Molloy’s portrayal of Davros just as much, especially in “Revelation of the Daleks”. His trademark cackle has switched characters, now, and Nick Briggs turned in a good vocal performance, in “The Stolen Earth”, especially as demented Dalek Caan. It’s interesting to note that virtually the entire Kaled race are now verging on complete insanity. Makes for entertaining viewing on a Saturday night, eminently preferable to the equally barking Graham Norton on quest to find himself a Nancy.

I thought it a little unnecessary, in the presence of so many characters, to explain the absence in the latest episode of other regular cast members, from both the mother show and spin-offs. Especially when the explanations were so weak. Gwen told Rhys to stay indoors for goodness sake, when there is a bloody great Dalek Invasion of Earth taking place. Considering his participation during some of the Season Two episodes of “Torchwood”, hardly likely. Sarah Jane told her son not to do anything as she headed off to find the Doctor. Why not put such a brainy child to good use? And where was she off to, exactly, in her car for said meeting with the Time Lord? Why didn’t Sarah just mow down the two Daleks in her path rather than braking? That part of the triple cliff-hanger came across as contrived, not the fault of actress Elisabeth Sladen or director Graeme Harper but writer Russell T. Davies. Eve Myles was the real revelation, here, showing guts and determination as Gwen, futilely opening fire upon the Daleks in the face of doubtless annihilation. Some have likened Rose to Sarah Connor in the “Terminator” series but I saw little evidence of it in Billie Piper’s performance other than manhandling a large weapon! Gwen was the one with the balls and she carried it off rather stylishly. She looked fetching whilst screaming defiance, too, not an easy feat to accomplish in but a few seconds. And, finally, there was the start of a regeneration for the present Doctor. David Morrissey is playing the “other” Doctor in the forthcoming Christmas Special so are we about to be introduced to him an episode earlier than expected? Can’t wait to find out…

Time and Time Lord

So, what can we expect from the new series of “Doctor Who”? Well, as we all know from recent debate, the delightful Catherine is returning to our screens reprising her role of Donna throughout all thirteen episodes. Moving on… and, perhaps more importantly, David Tennant is back for his third run of episodes although it is heavily rumoured to be his last. Some like him, some don’t. I don’t mind the actor but I’m not particularly keen on the way he plays the part. I suspect that is, in no small way, partly due to executive producer Russell T. Davies. It’s rumoured the current show runner will soon be moving on to pastures new as well. To my way of thinking, that can only be a good thing, both for him, creatively, but also for the programme. New blood will bring, hopefully, new ideas. Meantime, Series Four promises a repeat of exactly the same season structure we’ve endured for the past three years. Three multi-part stories and single-episode adventures for the rest with, yet again, the lone intelligent tale looking like being the middle two-parter entitled “Silence in the Library”, and (naturally) written by Steven Moffat!

The finale sees the return of the Daleks, not seen since - oh, let me think - last year, but they haven’t been seen in the closing episodes for - oh, let me think, again - two years. Bring them back quickly, I say, after the complete mess of “Last of the Time Lords”. It was so bad I’ve actually stopped taping the show, for the first time since I possessed a VCR. Shame, really, because the seven minutes or so of the “Children in Need” episode wasn’t that bad thanks to Steven Moffat’s reasonably witty script, but largely due to the return of Sir Peter Davison! Anyway, there’s a slight difference this time round. With the Daleks comes Davros, fictional creator of the creatures from Skaro. He was first seen in “Doctor Who” in 1975 in “Genesis of the Daleks” but his whereabouts have been undisclosed since 1988 when he bowed out with a brief appearance at the climax of “Remembrance of the Daleks”, having appeared in five consecutive Dalek stories. Davros has been located by Caan, last survivor of the Dalek race (yawn), and he is helping the Dalek to create a new race of Daleks. In a shock development in the final episode, a Dalek casing opens to reveal Harriet Jones, played by Penelope Wilton, the mother of all the new Daleks.

Before the Daleks re-emergence, a couple of other old favourites are due for an outing. Those awfully nice Ood chappies will be back in episode three, which is good news except for the Doctor, presumably. I like them, about the only thing in Rusty’s re-imagining I do like! I still don’t understand why RTD thought it was his job to name them. Surely that was the prerogative of the fellow who wrote “The Impossible Planet” and ”The Satan Pit”? Did Verity Lambert tell Terry Nation to call his creation the Daleks?!! I don’t think so! Immediately after “Planet of the Ood”, we will be treated to “The Sontaran Stratagem”, the first of the two-parters, which features the return of the Ice Warriors - I wish! Actually, there’s several monsters I would’ve preferred to see returning rather than the Sontarans… Zarbi, Mechonoids, Yeti, Silurians, Sea Devils to name a few. The Sontarans have previously featured four times in the classic series to varying degrees of success and one wonders if they will also be pitted against the Daleks, at the end of the series, as were the Cybermen two years ago - such is Russell’s love of formulaic television.

The TARDIS really travels abroad this year for a fleeting visit to Rome in episode two, “The Fires of Pompeii”. Sorry, Steve, but I doubt they’ll bump into Frankie Howerd, or the lovely Erotica would’ve been even fruitier! And, the time travellers encounter Agatha Christie in episode seven, “The Unicorn and the Wasp”. Together, they investigate a strange murder. Now, there’s a surprise! Rose is in the last four episodes, Martha’s back, Jack’s back, Sarah Jane is back, I’m back, and we get to meet the Doctor’s daughter in episode six. Is she original companion Susan Foreman’s mum? I just love mothers in new “Doctor Who”! And that reminds me, Jackie’s back!! How could I forget and what could be better?!! In the picture, that’s not the Doctor’s new costume, by the way, despite it being in burgundy! That’s what David wore to Billie’s wedding. The new series starts in, precisely, two weeks time on Saturday, April 5 on BBC One, hour to be confirmed though presumably around 7pm. Meanwhile, if you can’t wait or you’re curious, or both, you can see the trailer tonight, for the first time, again on BBC One at 7.05pm or online straight after. The surgery is open and it’s sooner than you think!

Be Still, My Beating Hearts!

The BBC has released the first publicity still for season four of new “Doctor Who” and, I have to say, my response to it comes as something of a surprise. How like Sarah Jane does Donna Noble look was what immediately ran through my mind. Catherine Tate’s facial features definitely seemed to have softened, somehow, since “The Runaway Bride”! Of course, a photograph doesn’t talk and if she retains the same brusque manner, as in that earlier episode, then no amount of positive marketing will induce me to watch. But then Sarah Jane could be quite curt when the mood suited!! I showed my father the picture and, before I explained it, he asked if it was Sarah Jane!!! So, it isn’t just me with that initial reaction. I would be only too happy if Catherine Tate turned out to be another Elisabeth Sladen!

Elsewhere in the production of series four of the good Doctor’s adventures, imagination is running low! The Time Lord is to meet the creator of “Miss Marple” and “Poirot”, popular whodunit author Agatha Christie. I moaned last year about him meeting Shakespeare, having already met Dickens, and now the Doctor is to meet yet another writer. Talk about creativity!! Can’t Russell, tiresome dictator that he seems to be, come up with something other than that with which he is already familiar or doesn’t he want to spend time researching maybe a meeting with a scientist or a musician? A little (“Enigma”) variation wouldn’t go amiss! My guess is that when James Nesbitt takes over the keys of the TARDIS, for series five, the chances are the eleventh Doctor will meet a writer too, probably Robert Louis Stevenson!!!

It’s also been rumoured that Sir Ben Kingsley is to appear in next year’s series as Davros, fictional creator of the Daleks in the original series. Again, this is so predictable. During the era of the first Doctor, the Daleks were established as the main adversary and, naturally enough, they were the principal villain reintroduced in the first year of new “Doctor Who”. With the second Doctor came the Cybermen. Year two of new “Who” and, behold, a new breed of Cyber-buddies! Time Lord menace, the Master was pitted against the third Doctor eight times. Series three and up pops John Simm! Down boy!! Then, Dalek history was rewritten and fourth Doctor Tom Baker meets their maker a couple of times with each successive Doctor, over the next three incarnations, also squaring up to the crippled scientist. Why resurrect THE major villain from each era, of the classic series, one per year in the new series in chronological order? Talk about creativity! Oh, I’ve already said that!!

It shouldn’t be assumed, by the way, that just because Davros is returning the Daleks will follow. There has never been a televised Davros story without his demented offspring in tow and RTD’s notion of imaginative writing is to rework an old idea out of its usual context. Perhaps viewers will witness the decline and fall of Davros, pre-“Genesis of the Daleks”, discovering how he became shrivelled and wheelchair-bound. We saw Sec released from the confines of his casing and it might be interesting to see the process in reverse… If you’re interested in seeing what kind of villain Sir Ben might portray in “Doctor Who” then, as luck would have it, you can catch him in this Saturday’s ITV1 teatime movie premiere as the Hood in a very poor live action retelling of Gerry Anderson’s most-popular puppet series “Thunderbirds”. It also features Madame De Pompadour as Lady Penelope, Mr Magpie as Parker and a closing theme song by the god-awful McFly! You have been duly warned!!