Starting Over

Charlotte Church is to try to revive her chart career - but admits she is “scared” of returning to the scene.

Charlotte - who was most recently seen as a judge on BBC1’s “Over the Rainbow” - will release her first pop album in five years before the end of the year.

Miss Church has revealed the title track of her new LP - and next single - “Back to Scratch” has new resonance following the break-up of her relationship with rugby star Gavin Henson.

Charlotte has pointed out, “It became the perfect song for my situation, so I sing it with a lot of conviction.”

What the news fails to highlight is that this will, actually, only be Church’s second pop CD. I hope she has better songwriters on board, this time, than she did on her debut. Her most well-known song, “Crazy Chick”, left a lot to be desired. The lyrics rhymed “therapy” with “PhD” while the music would’ve suited her voice better in a higher key!

Charlotte is undoubtedly a very attractive woman, and reasonably talented, but whether or not the record is musically challenging remains to be seen. I look forward to hearing it later in the year. In the meantime, if she’s looking for someone new to scratch her back…

The Gospel According to Charlotte Church!

Recently, when I saw the above pictures of Charlotte Church at the Pride of Britain Awards 2005, I thought how remarkably similar she looks to Eve Myles as Gwen Cooper in "Torchwood". It might have something to do with her fringe, or the make-up, or the fact that they're both from Wales! Perhaps there's a cloning operation going on in Cardiff about to be uncovered in the second series? Anyhow, below is a second gallery of the delectable - and doesn't she know it - Ms Church making a right Charlie of herself, in a nice way, in more-familiar skimpy attire!! And, my excuse, if I need one? Well, it's my birthday today and I decided I needed a treat!!!

Carry On Down Bikini Bottom!

The Satanic Rites of Charlotte Church!

Charlotte Church has always been thought of as having the "voice of an angel" so it came as something of a pleasant surprise when I stumbled upon these almost gothic-like images of her. Dressed in black amongst the ruins of a church, shrouded in fog, candle carrying, incense burning, she looks more suited to starring in Hammer horror movies than appearing on "Songs of Praise", or even "Top of the Pops", hence the tongue-in-cheek title of the post (a corruption of the 1973 Christopher Lee film "The Satanic Rites of Dracula") and gallery below (another Christopher Lee movie, from 1975, and the last horror film the studio ever made).

In this set of eleven pictures, Charlotte reminds me a little of Linda Hayden, star of my two favourite horror films, "Taste the Blood of Dracula" and "Blood on Satan's Claw". She has a similar appealing figure, not stick thin, like a boy or so-called supermodel, but is voluptuous in the same way Kate Winslet is beautifully feminine. Whatever one thinks of her musical ability, or attitude to life in other areas, she is at least a suitable role model for young girls to look up to in not giving a fig over weight issues. Victoria Beckham and Keira Knightley are a bad influence in this respect. Wanting to be so skinny, for whatever reasons, can only cause psychological harm as well as physical.

Fashion is supposed to go round in cycles but the ultra-slim female is lasting an awfully long time and, like all inferior things, is simply a product of the market place. Ignore it is the best advice! If I was a casting director about to make a horror picture in the mould of Hammer's best gothic romances, I'd want to screen test Charlotte. The photographer responsible for these pictures obviously saw her in a different light. She looks good in more typical fashion shoots too but it's refreshing to see a different take on her beauty in these shots! Now, when's she dumping that rugby-playing boyfriend of her's?!!

To the Devil a Daughter!

Who Might’ve Been?