Shower Flower

Not so long ago, the Doctor, the eleventh Doctor to be precise, took up lodgings in order to sort out a bit of an alien problem on Earth, as you do! Wisely, he took the opportunity to avail himself of some of the amenities. I think he’d been playing football or something. So, our hero Matt was a bit sweaty, had mud on his knees, that sort of thing. What better way to freshen up, you might think, than to take a shower. Only problem was, when he got out the cubicle, who should he bump into but his landlord, the lesbian-loving, vampire-loving, bit-of-a-killer James Corden. Oh, dear! And all Mister Smith was wearing to protect his modesty was a towel!!

A similar thing happened to me, quite recently. I’d been driving round the track at Silverstone, one of my many manly pursuits in the quest to maintain a fit body. A hobby suggested to me by motor-racing pundit Eddie Jordan, no less. Anyway, like the good Doctor, I, too, was a little bit hot under the collar. Nothing else for it but to nip in the shower. Steaming hot, plenty of lather, soon cools you off and gets you clean. With not a care in the universe, I stepped out singing Buzzcocks’ “Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t Have Fallen in Love)”. You won’t believe it but guess who I bumped into? One thing’s for sure, I was so much luckier than Matt!

Starting Over

Charlotte Church is to try to revive her chart career - but admits she is “scared” of returning to the scene.

Charlotte - who was most recently seen as a judge on BBC1’s “Over the Rainbow” - will release her first pop album in five years before the end of the year.

Miss Church has revealed the title track of her new LP - and next single - “Back to Scratch” has new resonance following the break-up of her relationship with rugby star Gavin Henson.

Charlotte has pointed out, “It became the perfect song for my situation, so I sing it with a lot of conviction.”

What the news fails to highlight is that this will, actually, only be Church’s second pop CD. I hope she has better songwriters on board, this time, than she did on her debut. Her most well-known song, “Crazy Chick”, left a lot to be desired. The lyrics rhymed “therapy” with “PhD” while the music would’ve suited her voice better in a higher key!

Charlotte is undoubtedly a very attractive woman, and reasonably talented, but whether or not the record is musically challenging remains to be seen. I look forward to hearing it later in the year. In the meantime, if she’s looking for someone new to scratch her back…

No More “Survivors” Any More!

I’ve recently discovered the BBC has cancelled “Survivors” and I’m a little disgruntled to say the least! Apparently, the series was given the elbow back in April. There’s nothing like being first with the news!! I found out via a footnote to a magazine competition, of all places. I suppose the powers that be decided there might be an outcry if the cancellation of a science fiction series was announced publicly. Following the furore surrounding the “postponement” of “Doctor Who”, in 1985, the Beeb learnt quite quickly better to brush these things under the carpet, and the series came to a discreet conclusion four years later!

What’s ironic, in the case of “Survivors”, is that the British Broadcasting Corporation has only recently rushed to the aid of ITV’s science fiction show “Primeval” and saved it from the same fate. Why would they save a programme on a competing channel at the expense of one of their own? Strange! I’ve lately rewatched Series Two of “Primeval” and, in all honesty, it isn’t very good. (The worst episode was the one written by “Doctor Who” writer Paul Cornell!) Adding to the irony is the fact that both shows, the revamped “Survivors” and new creation “Primeval”, are the brainchildren of the same man, Adrian Hodges.

The BBC have made a habit of terminating fantasy shows before their natural conclusion. They invested in John Christopher’s trilogy “The Tripods” during the mid-Eighties only to cut it short after two series. Director Christopher Barry claimed the series was better than “Doctor Who”. It wasn’t but it was a nice try. The episodes set in “The City of Gold and Lead”, during Series Two, had beautiful production design. Those filmed on location were not as captivating, where usually the great outdoors aids realism, but the superior model work wasn’t enough to save the series.

A decade later and the treatment of Brian Clemens and Stephen Gallagher’s “Bugs” was appalling. Following episode seven of Series Four, viewers had to wait nearly a year to see the final three instalments. Episode ten ended on a cliff-hanger, with the kidnap of some of the team, only for the series to be cancelled so that we would never learn their fate.

“Survivors” suffered because of the delay in broadcasting the second series. It was supposed to go out last year. When it eventually reached transmission, in January this year, there was a further delay between the first and second episodes due to the BBC prioritising football over drama. Sport is more important than fiction and politics more important than sport in the gospel according to the BBC!

There was a time when dramas went out at the same time, on the same day, every week. Look at the scattered start times of the thirteen episodes comprising this year’s series of “Doctor Who”. In 1985 all thirteen began at 5:20pm and ended at 6:05. A bit early but regular at least! Every episode of the original “Survivors”, broadcast between 1975 and 1977, went out at the same time bar one. 37 out of 38 isn’t a bad strike rate!

I shall miss new “Survivors”. It was serious where new “Doctor Who” is frivolous. I’ll miss Julie Graham’s irresistible Abby Grant as she desperately searched for her missing son against the backdrop of the pandemic. I was already missing Robyn Addison as they killed off her character, Sarah, at the end of what turned out to be the penultimate episode. And, now, we’ll never find out where Tom Price was headed, having stowed away aboard the mysterious Patrick Malahide’s aeroplane!

“Doctor Who” actor’s cancer diagnosis

TV star Geoffrey Hughes, who played “Coronation Street” binman Eddie Yeats, is being treated for cancer for a second time.

The 66-year-old collapsed with back pains at his home in Newport, on the Isle of Wight, on Friday.

The actor, who also starred as Onslow in BBC sitcom “Keeping Up Appearances”, was taken to hospital in Portsmouth for intense radiotherapy.

He was appointed deputy lieutenant for the Isle of Wight last year.

There’s a lovely story, dating from 1986, involving Geoffrey and, former “Doctor Who” producer, the late John Nathan-Turner. After a day’s filming on the two-part season finale, “The Ultimate Foe”, concluding the fourteen-part epic “The Trial of a Time Lord”, the cast and crew returned to the location hotel and naturally those with a strong constitution headed for the bar!

Eventually, writers Pip and Jane Baker made their excuses and retired for the night. When they came down for breakfast, the following morning, Geoffrey and John were still propping up the bar, still deep in conversation! Sounds like they were making the most of things!!

I can only wish Mr Popplewick a speedy recovery.