The Triumph of The Daleks

It’s impossible not to see the irony that while the present Executive Producer of “Doctor Who”, Russell T Davies, criticises the 6.20pm time slot allotted the new series’ first episode, on BBC One on April 5, the original Terry Nation serial introducing “The Daleks”, starring William Hartnell in the second-ever “Doctor Who” story, will begin a very rare repeat run on BBC Four later the same evening, as part of the “Verity Lambert Tribute Night”, at the more sensible time of 8.30pm! I can understand how RTD feels about the earlier transmission of “Partners in Crime” and agree with him that the show may possibly lose many viewers as a result. Shop assistants, for example, of which Rose was one, don’t finish work until 5.30pm and it seems very unlikely they’ll be able to immediately head for home. Had “Doctor Who” retained the 7pm position in the schedules, of recent years, there can be no doubt there would definitely be more bums in front of the telly. Having said that, the later showing of the 1963/4 serial does actually represent a minor victory for the classic series. All seven episodes were originally broadcast on BBC One at the even earlier start time of 5.15pm and the show somehow managed to survive rather well in spite of it! In fact, it was during the transmission of the first four episodes of “The Daleks” that “Doctor Who” really entered the public consciousness. The last three are slightly disappointing, insomuch as they are padded out to fit the running time, but only in comparison to the brilliance of the first half. Had Rusty’s opening gambit been on later, as he hoped, with the possibility of a clash between new and old “Doctor Who”, I know which story I would choose! Call me cynical but maybe Russell knows the new series is rubbish and is already trying to shift the blame before the whole Catherine Tate casting travesty comes crashing down on his head!! “Daleks conquer and destroy”, indeed!!!

Fairground Attraction

Beckoning shadows of circus folk flashed across the walls within the Electro Cinema.

They stepped out of celluloid into a world of moisture and saliva. Two strange and eerie figures silhouetted in the half-light of a street lamp on a cold and rainy night in Chain Lane running parallel to Hope Street. The night travellers… leaving a trail of damage and sorrow wherever they perform. And always in the dead of night.

“Would you like a ticket for the travelling show, my dear?”, the Ghostmaker asked of a nervous, shivering, woman waiting for the late bus, “Every young person’s dream!”

“Perhaps she’d like to join the show instead?”, suggested the Ghostmaker’s shimmering female companion, tasting the dew clinging to their first victim’s hair.

“Why not?”, the Ghostmaker added, as though the thought had never crossed his mind, “You could travel with us… forever!!”

And, having selected a waitress as their second victim, the Ghostmaker’s accomplice proffered a peculiar request of her master, “Make her cry… I want to drink her tears!”

“From Out of the Rain” was wickedly acted by Julian Bleach and Camilla Power, malevolently directed by Jonathan Fox Bassett and sinisterly written by Peter J. Hammond.

“Come along now, ladies and gentlemen, the night won’t wait forever!”, touted the Ghostmaker, “Come and see the amazing Pearl. She lives in water. She sleeps among the waves. She can reach the bottom of the oceans. She has swum the seven seas. She is the nearest thing that you will ever see… to a living… mermaid. She… will… take your breath… away.”

“Doctor Who” Series Four - Trailer and Teasers

Well, the trailer and no less than three teasers, promoting the fourth new series of “Doctor Who”, have aired. Visually, they are impressive, to say the least. No doubt everyone has seen them by now! My favourite shot, from the main minute-and-a-half cinema preview, is of the miniscule TARDIS with exiting travellers set against the rocky alien snowscape with the Saturn-like planet at an angle on the horizon. And, least favourite is the Doctor behaving like he always does, with his blessed sonic screwdriver, whizzing in and out of shot like an idiot! I hate to say it but Donna actually seems more self-controlled than her mentor in this sequence, though I do hope she is calling Bernard Cribbins “gramps” because he is her grandfather and not just because of his age. Russell T Davies doesn’t need to discriminate against the elderly in order to increase his ratings! Donna trying to engage the Doctor’s attention through a porthole is excruciatingly reminiscent of a similar scene with Martha in last season’s “42”. I like the shot of the Noble one being menaced by a giant wasp in her bedroom! Looks as though she could be in for more than a little prick! I notice, in another shot, Donna is behind bars and, some might say, that’s the best place for her!! Of the three ten-second teasers, each featuring a returning monster, my preference is for the Dalek promo. Despite its extreme brevity, it’s beautifully shot and I love the reflection of the Doctor’s face captured in the creature’s eyestalk.

Time and Time Lord

So, what can we expect from the new series of “Doctor Who”? Well, as we all know from recent debate, the delightful Catherine is returning to our screens reprising her role of Donna throughout all thirteen episodes. Moving on… and, perhaps more importantly, David Tennant is back for his third run of episodes although it is heavily rumoured to be his last. Some like him, some don’t. I don’t mind the actor but I’m not particularly keen on the way he plays the part. I suspect that is, in no small way, partly due to executive producer Russell T. Davies. It’s rumoured the current show runner will soon be moving on to pastures new as well. To my way of thinking, that can only be a good thing, both for him, creatively, but also for the programme. New blood will bring, hopefully, new ideas. Meantime, Series Four promises a repeat of exactly the same season structure we’ve endured for the past three years. Three multi-part stories and single-episode adventures for the rest with, yet again, the lone intelligent tale looking like being the middle two-parter entitled “Silence in the Library”, and (naturally) written by Steven Moffat!

The finale sees the return of the Daleks, not seen since - oh, let me think - last year, but they haven’t been seen in the closing episodes for - oh, let me think, again - two years. Bring them back quickly, I say, after the complete mess of “Last of the Time Lords”. It was so bad I’ve actually stopped taping the show, for the first time since I possessed a VCR. Shame, really, because the seven minutes or so of the “Children in Need” episode wasn’t that bad thanks to Steven Moffat’s reasonably witty script, but largely due to the return of Sir Peter Davison! Anyway, there’s a slight difference this time round. With the Daleks comes Davros, fictional creator of the creatures from Skaro. He was first seen in “Doctor Who” in 1975 in “Genesis of the Daleks” but his whereabouts have been undisclosed since 1988 when he bowed out with a brief appearance at the climax of “Remembrance of the Daleks”, having appeared in five consecutive Dalek stories. Davros has been located by Caan, last survivor of the Dalek race (yawn), and he is helping the Dalek to create a new race of Daleks. In a shock development in the final episode, a Dalek casing opens to reveal Harriet Jones, played by Penelope Wilton, the mother of all the new Daleks.

Before the Daleks re-emergence, a couple of other old favourites are due for an outing. Those awfully nice Ood chappies will be back in episode three, which is good news except for the Doctor, presumably. I like them, about the only thing in Rusty’s re-imagining I do like! I still don’t understand why RTD thought it was his job to name them. Surely that was the prerogative of the fellow who wrote “The Impossible Planet” and ”The Satan Pit”? Did Verity Lambert tell Terry Nation to call his creation the Daleks?!! I don’t think so! Immediately after “Planet of the Ood”, we will be treated to “The Sontaran Stratagem”, the first of the two-parters, which features the return of the Ice Warriors - I wish! Actually, there’s several monsters I would’ve preferred to see returning rather than the Sontarans… Zarbi, Mechonoids, Yeti, Silurians, Sea Devils to name a few. The Sontarans have previously featured four times in the classic series to varying degrees of success and one wonders if they will also be pitted against the Daleks, at the end of the series, as were the Cybermen two years ago - such is Russell’s love of formulaic television.

The TARDIS really travels abroad this year for a fleeting visit to Rome in episode two, “The Fires of Pompeii”. Sorry, Steve, but I doubt they’ll bump into Frankie Howerd, or the lovely Erotica would’ve been even fruitier! And, the time travellers encounter Agatha Christie in episode seven, “The Unicorn and the Wasp”. Together, they investigate a strange murder. Now, there’s a surprise! Rose is in the last four episodes, Martha’s back, Jack’s back, Sarah Jane is back, I’m back, and we get to meet the Doctor’s daughter in episode six. Is she original companion Susan Foreman’s mum? I just love mothers in new “Doctor Who”! And that reminds me, Jackie’s back!! How could I forget and what could be better?!! In the picture, that’s not the Doctor’s new costume, by the way, despite it being in burgundy! That’s what David wore to Billie’s wedding. The new series starts in, precisely, two weeks time on Saturday, April 5 on BBC One, hour to be confirmed though presumably around 7pm. Meanwhile, if you can’t wait or you’re curious, or both, you can see the trailer tonight, for the first time, again on BBC One at 7.05pm or online straight after. The surgery is open and it’s sooner than you think!

Remembering Steptoe

Wilfrid Brambell’s rag-and-bone man Albert is my all-time favourite sitcom creation, the old man’s sly manipulation of his son simultaneously creating both the comedy and the pathos of “Steptoe and Son”. Fighting over who gets to watch what on the box, in one episode, for example, transcends a simple domestic squabble! While the son thinks he’ll improve himself by watching the ballet on BBC Two, dad wants the blood and guts of the horror film over on ITV! This is akin to the rampant snobbishness regarding television writing itself which, in turn, reflects people’s attitudes, generally, towards things they perceive as beneath them in life. I don’t think Ray Galton and Alan Simpson’s scripts should be underestimated. They’re of a much higher quality than most of today’s fare and, to be fair, there isn’t much that can compare with Shakespeare!

There were eight series of “Steptoe and Son”, four in black and white, made in the Sixties, and, after a five-year break, four in colour, produced during the early Seventies. My favourite episode of the fifty-seven, “A Star is Born”, is from the Seventh Series, extracts from which were re-enacted by Jason Isaacs as Harry H. Corbett, as Harold, with Phil Davis as Brambell, as Albert Edward Ladysmith Steptoe to give the character his full name, in BBC Four’s “The Curse of Steptoe”. Harold is re-enacting his audition piece for an amateur dramatics company, in front of his father, only to be ridiculed for his choice of material - “On the Waterfront” rather than “Bard of Avon”!

I went to a BBC Experience day a few years back, ostensibly to view the “Doctor Who” exhibits, but found myself deep in conversation with one of the guys running the stand devoted to the Tony Hancock Appreciation Society. It transpired this fan knew Galton and had been cataloguing his scripts for him! Interestingly, Burn Gorman, taking a break from playing dead in “Torchwood”, featured as Ray Galton in “The Curse of Steptoe”, though, with beard, he bore more than a passing resemblance to D H Lawrence! And, incidentally, “The Vice” actor Ken Stott will be giving Hancock, an earlier Galton and Simpson success, his best shot in next week’s edition of this drama anthology.

A Gem of a Role

She may be glamorous, whatever that is, but I’m not sure Bond girl Gemma Arterton has the right kind of face to star in BBC1’s new version of “Tess of the d’Urbervilles”. She looks too modern, too much of our time. I suppose it’s hard to dispel the memory of Nastassja Kinski, in Roman Polanski’s definitive 1979 account, simply renamed “Tess”, so good was the German actress in the part.

Pictured sporting off-shoulder red, as head girl Kelly, promoting the recent remake of “St. Trinian’s”, and about to be ogled as Agent Fields in new Bond movie “Quantum of Solace”, Gemma has been signed to play the lead role in the latest production based on Thomas Hardy’s finest novel. The story of the put upon dairy farmhand was last turned into a television drama, by LWT, in 1998. Although adapted by Ted Whitehead, and starring Justine Waddell, it wasn’t particularly successful!

Filming of “Tess of the d’Urbervilles” begins in the West Country later this month and the four-hour adaptation by David Nicholls will be broadcast in the autumn. Anna Massey, no stranger to Hardy territory, having appeared in Dennis Potter’s Seventies’ adaptation of “The Mayor of Casterbridge” alongside Alan Bates, also features. I must admit to being on tenterhooks as Tess is my favourite heroine in English Literature!

Exterminator Terminator

“Rose, Rose, I love you…” Oh, you just caught me out, there, in a rare moment of truculent sentimentality! I can assure you, it doesn’t happen that often!! As you can see, it’s not just me that’s back, back, BACK, as a certain Old Cheeser might say, but Billie Piper is, too. And, my, has she got her hands on a big one! One wonders how such a wee lassie can even handle such a large weapon? I thought it was Sarah Connor, for one brief moment. Then, I realised that this shot is from the Series Four Finale, of the upcoming run of “Doctor Who”, in which things look pretty hopeless for the Doctor as his lifeless body lays sprawled upon the ground. Filmed in the early hours of Friday morning on the streets of Cardiff, the Doctor (David Tennant - Who else?!!) is exterminated by a flying Dalek and returning former companion Rose Tyler, “Defender of the Earth”, attempts to resuscitate him… along with Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman), current concubine Donna Noble (Catherine Tate), former fellow traveller Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen), Rose’s mum Jackie (Camille Coduri) and “Old Uncle Tom Cobley and all”!

Sweet Little Girl?

When I was thirteen or fourteen, I wrote some really crap lyrics! The first song I ever committed to manuscript was “Sweet Little Girl”, and the title says it all really, but embarrassment isn’t the word were I forced to put my name to some of today’s hit records that seem to pass muster with the kids. Take Kate Nash. Well, as long as she kept her trap shut, I just might! But the lyrics of her song “Foundations” are just so goddamn irritating. Consider this example…

You said, “I must eat so many lemons ’cause I am so bitter.”
I said, “I’d rather be with your friends, mate, ’cause they are much fitter.”

Where do you start with such crass writing? I’d dump her on the spot for calling me “mate” but the rhyme is what really gets my goat. It’s hilarious for all the wrong reasons. It’s just so forced. Kate was probably thinking, if she does such a thing, “what the hell can I rhyme with bitter?” The result is a confession that she sees men as no more than sex objects, the very thing men are always accused of when objectifying women. Well, you’re gonna have to get more of a personality, “love”, if you want to be thought of as anything other than tits and arse! I thought teenagers were supposed to mature more quickly these days. She’s twenty. Kate Bush was writing more mature songs, in the Seventies, aged 16, and so was I! And, don’t even get me started on Nash’s ability as a pianist. Keep your eyes on her fingers, she does!!

Bottom of the Tops!

As I used to work in the record industry, I’m occasionally interested to see how certain records perform sales wise, regardless of musical merit. It’s a curious fact, of the employed system for measuring a disc’s success, that while “Umbrella” by Rihanna topped the charts for ten weeks, back in the summer of last year, the song was pipped to the post of best-selling single of 2007, at the eleventh hour, by Leona Lewis’s bleeding awful “Bleeding Love”, which only held pole position for a mere seven! In that shorter amount of time, the latter managed to outsell the former quite considerably. In fact, it did so very early on, upon consideration of the week-by-week sales figures. If “Single of the Year” was down to number of weeks as “Top of the Pops”, or even number of weeks on the chart, then Rihanna’s song would’ve won hands down as it has certainly been the more consistent of the pair, regardless of the fact that it was released earlier. It’s still been a golden shower for Rihanna!

Dead Giveaway

Beginning on Saturday March 15 and running to Thursday March 20, as a daily freebie with The Sun and News of the World tabloids, earthlings may collect six prize episodes of “Doctor Who” on DVD from the last two series. This follows a similar publicity incentive two years ago but, whereas, on that occasion, the episodes were culled from a selection of past Doctors, together with Christopher Eccleston’s début in “Rose”, this promotion’s six segments of the key to time are all from the David Tennant era. Pictured above, from Series Two, are “School Reunion”, the two-parter “Army of Ghosts” and “Doomsday”, and, from Series Three, “Smith and Jones”, “Blink” and “Utopia”; although, contrary to popular belief, “Blink” doesn’t really star David Tennant!

The Sun’s irresistible offer is masterly news, not least for this victim, because it’ll give me a chance to be hypnotised by Derek Jacobi’s brief-but-brilliant contribution to “Doctor Who” all over again without having to invest in the disastrously dire dénouement of last year’s season. Similarly, I can also delicately place my surgeon’s hands on a pristine copy of Freema’s medicinal début, in order to check up on yet another bloody call to a Rusty hospital and revisit the exquisite craftsmanship of Roy Marsden’s consultant Mr. Stoker. Being of totally logical disposition, though temporarily illiterate inclination, I ain’t afraid of no ghosts except when I fear they’ll haunt me for the rest of my life! The best of the bunch is “Blink” which, did I mention, doesn’t really star David Tennant!!

Normal Norman

I thought it necessary to step out of blogging retirement to warmly remember the life of Norman Smith who sadly passed away on the 3 March, aged 85. Perhaps some of you are scratching your heads and wondering who on earth was Norman Smith? Norman was a very influential figure in the world of pop music, initially as a sound engineer at EMI working for George Martin. Smith worked on every single Beatles’ record between the years 1962 and 1965, from their debut album “Please Please Me” up to and including “Rubber Soul”, taking in songs such as “Love Me Do” and “She Loves You” to “Nowhere Man” and “Norwegian Wood”. John Lennon affectionately nicknamed him “Normal” Norman!

Promoted to producer in 1966, Norman signed Pink Floyd to EMI, after seeing them perform at “underground” club UFO, despite professing a lack of understanding regarding psychedelia. Nevertheless, during 1967 and 1968, he went on to produce their seminal single “See Emily Play” together with the band’s first three albums, “Piper at the Gates of Dawn”, “A Saucerful of Secrets” and “Umma Gumma”. During their first session at Abbey Road, Paul McCartney dropped in to the studio, put his hand on Smith’s shoulder, and told the Floyd, “You won’t go wrong with this bloke as your producer.” To think that without this signing there would have been no “Dark Side of the Moon” and guitarist Dave Gilmour would never have introduced a 16-year-old Kate Bush to the label!

The strangest twist in the tale is that after Pink Floyd took over their own production duties, Norman Smith reinvented himself, albeit briefly, as a pop singer! In 1972, under the pseudonym Hurricane Smith, and at the age of nearly 50, he had a huge hit with the self-penned “Oh, Babe, What Would You Say?” The song harked back to the music hall and vaudeville era. If you’ve never heard it, imagine a Gilbert O’Sullivan tune sung by John Hurt! Appearance wise, he promoted the record modelling himself on Peter Wyngarde as Jason King from the ITC TV series “Department S”! At the time, I was too young to make the connection between Hurricane and Norman, which presumably was the intention, but, I’m pleased to say, I still have my copy of his best-known single.