Visit the official Doctor Who website

Visit the official Doctor Who website
Look to the future

Asylum seekers...

Asylum seekers...
Refuge of the Daleks

Doctor Who picture resource

Doctor Who picture resource
Roam the space lanes!

Explore the Doctor Who classic series website

Explore the Doctor Who classic series website
Step back in time

Infiltrate The Hub of Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood

Infiltrate The Hub of Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood
Armed and extremely dangerous

Investigate The Sarah Jane Adventures

Investigate The Sarah Jane Adventures
Fearless in the face of adversity

Call on Dani’s House

Call on Dani’s House
Harmer’s a charmer

Intercept the UFO fabsite

Intercept the UFO fabsite
Defending the Earth against alien invaders!

Uncover the secrets of the Dollhouse

Uncover the secrets of the Dollhouse
Programmable agent Echo exposed!

Hell’s belles

Hell’s belles
Naughty but nice

Love Exposure

Love Exposure
Flash photography!

Primeval portal

Primeval portal
Dressed to kill or damsels in distress?

Charmed, to be sure!

Charmed, to be sure!
The witches of San Francisco

Take on t.A.T.u.

Take on t.A.T.u.
All the way from Moscow

Proceed to the Luther website

Proceed to the Luther website
John and Jenny discuss their next move

DCI Banks is on the case

DCI Banks is on the case
You can bet on it!

On The Grid with Spooks

On The Grid with Spooks
Secret agents of Section D

Bridge to Hustle

Bridge to Hustle
Shady characters

Life on Ashes To Ashes

Life on Ashes To Ashes
Coppers with a chequered past

Claire’s no Exile

Claire’s no Exile
Goose steps

Vexed is back on the beat!

Vexed is back on the beat!
Mismatched DI Armstrong and bright fast-tracker Georgina Dixon

Medium, both super and natural

Medium, both super and natural
Open the door to your dreams

Who’s that girl? (350-picture Slideshow)

Tuesday 6 May 2008

Seizing Kerry’s Assets


For what, precisely, is Kerry Jayne Elizabeth Katona famous? Well, her original claim to this prodigiously prominent position is that she was once a part of pop-tart trio Atomic Kitten. But, rumour has it, she didn’t sing on some/any of their hits! Apparently, she merely spoke a few lines in just one of their songs!! So, what was the purpose of her being in the group, in the first place? They were put together eleven years ago by Andy McCluskey, of Eighties band Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, so you might expect he would’ve chosen someone who could actually sing! Kerry left/was-booted-out the Atomics just as they were on the verge of major commercial success, with their single “Whole Again”, ostensibly because of her pregnancy. However, I don’t recall any other instance, of being with child, preventing female aspirations in the pop industry.

On leaving the Pussies, Kerry married Westlife crooner Brian McFadden. God, can you imagine the sweet music coming out of their household! But, the union helped seal her familiarity, with the great British general public, and a couple of years later, in February 2004, Katona won the third British series of reality TV show “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!” and was crowned “Queen of the Jungle”. For all that, the couple separated later the same year. Since then, she’s found happiness with a taxi driver, should you choose to believe it? In-between, the 27-year-old published her autobiography, “Kerry Katona: Too Much, Too Young: My Story of Love, Survival and Celebrity”, with the ironic placement, in the title, being on the word “Much”, in that it doesn’t imply affluence, rather austerity of upbringing, although I doubt very much if it was our Kez who thought of that!

Anyway, the reason for this potted history of Miss Katona is that she now faces bankruptcy to the sum of £475,000! I can only presume she must have made a fortune in order to spend one but has, obviously, exceeded her budget. You shouldn’t laugh at those, intellectually, less well off than yourself but I couldn’t help but smile when I read that a High Court judge agreed to give her a ten-week extension period, though warned that if she didn’t meet the deadline, receivers would seize her assets. It wasn’t her predicament I was smiling over but the terminology of the court. I conjured up images of a bewigged member of the judiciary making a beeline for young Kerry’s tits and, let’s face it/them, it’s the ample size of her bosom for which she’s really famous. The mother of four is, obviously, quite a handful so perhaps I should’ve called this post “Squeezing Kerry’s Assets”!

2 comments:

Steve said...

If she's hard of cash she can always shop at Iceland...

TimeWarden said...

If that doesn't put people off shopping there, nothing will!