As Time Goes… Bye!

What do you think is the ratio between sports programming and music broadcasts on British television? You might think it an unfair question, given that the Olympics is almost upon us and, therefore, a disproportionate amount of time will be spent on the former than is usually the case. This is not so. This year’s season of the greatest music festival in the world, The Proms, has been running nearly a fortnight, of its eight-week duration, with even less airtime devoted to it than in previous years. I have often relied on the late-night repeats and, this time around, they are nowhere to be found! What little there is, and I applaud the Beethoven cycle of Symphonies under Barenboim, even though I haven’t managed to see a single concert, is, as usual, relegated to minority-interest channel BBC Four. Even the simultaneously aggressive-and-tender music of the composer I regard as being the original Sex Pistol, Ludwig van, is deemed not being accessible enough for a mainstream audience on BBC One. Is the corporate world of television seriously trying to hard-sell me the notion that the sight of sweaty athletes, attempting to better one another by nothing more than a few nanoseconds, in a tournament designed to be just one step removed from all-out war, is somehow preferable to some of the most powerful music ever written, and performed, no doubt, with great gusto by the West-Eastern Divan Orchestra?

I don’t want to be sent packing to catch-up on the BBC’s iPlayer either. Why is television constantly trying to rid itself of its audience? Recently, I would like to have seen Christopher Eccleston and MyAnna Buring in the three-part BBC One serial Blackout, on Monday nights. Similarly, I would like to have watched Kenneth Branagh and Sarah Smart in the third series of Wallander, on Sunday evenings. But, one transmission of each episode and it’s done! Why no repeats? Why the lack of broadmindedness of scheduling that assumes we can all be in front of the box at 9pm on those particular days? Conversely, ITV3, and ITV4 to some extent, functions too far in the opposite direction. Everyone must’ve seen every episode of Frost, Foyle and Fogle by now! Many, many times!! Whodunit? We already bloody know, thank you very much for nothing… there ought to be a law against it! ITV have a massive back catalogue, surely, from which to choose? I would like to see the 1999, Survivors-style, six-part serial The Last Train repeated, especially as it isn’t available on DVD, but not repeatedly repeated! It would make a change, even though there aren’t any detectives in it!! It does boast a superlative music score by Poirot composer Christopher Gunning, if that’s any help.

Finally, I come to the scheduling of the next series of Doctor Who. Has anyone in its potential audience questioned why the Seventh Season is being spread across two years? Clearly, it is to save money, cash possibly spent on the Olympic Games. And just as the programme approaches its Fiftieth Anniversary when, maybe, one might expect the BBC to be spending a little more on it, rather than less! Heaven knows, sales of all things Doctor Who-related have helped keep the licence fee as low as possible, even when the show was on its extended extended break between 1989 and 2005!! It really is a crafty way for the BBC to be able to say there were new adventures in both 2012 and 2013 while only spending money on one set of episodes, and without the need to incur any extra expense with “specials”, as in 2009. Perhaps there will be a Series Eight starting in September 2013, a year after Series Seven, but it doesn’t seem likely. So just how, exactly, will BBC One celebrate, come November 2013? I’m curious to know. Drama repeats aren’t really their style, as I’ve previously explained. Episodes from the modern era are oft-repeated, but on BBC Three and always at the same time, never giving a different audience the opportunity to see them. Classic episodes hardly ever, not even to mourn the passing recently of companion Caroline John. Confidential-type documentaries might’ve been plausible if that series hadn’t been axed. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Unfortunately, I won’t be here to report on it as… That’s all, folks!!! My taxi is waiting and I’m off to paradise…

Through the looking-glass

Two more storylines from the next series of Doctor Who have emerged from the show’s producer and chief writer Steven Moffat. He says, in episode two, The Doctor will take on pre-historic creatures in a story called Dinosaurs On A Spaceship! I had to suppress a snigger when I heard the title. It does sound a tad silly and more than a little preposterous until you remember Voyage Of The Damned and its spaceship, Titanic, almost crashing into Buckingham Palace! First thoughts are the episode is endeavouring to capitalise on the popularity of Primeval, but I remind myself that the current, probably final, series of the ITV1 dinosaur saga, while visually spectacular, is no more than a reworking of the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who story Invasion Of The Dinosaurs. The new dinosaur escapade is written by Chris Chibnall and features Being Human’s Mark Williams as Rory’s dad, Brian, and Rupert Graves from Sherlock.

Episode three is a western-themed adventure, written by Toby Whithouse and filmed on location in Spain, entitled A Town Called Mercy. It co-stars Adrian Scarborough and Ben Browder. Any mention of the Last Chance Saloon immediately conjures up images of William Hartnell’s legendary encounter at the O K Corral with Wyatt Earp and Johnny Ringo in mid-Sixties’ four-parter The Gunfighters, which not only gave The Doctor toothache but many fans as well! The new storylines are both directed by Saul Metzstein and follow the first episode of the new series in which The Doctor will be reunited with his oldest enemies in Asylum Of The Daleks. The first five episodes of Series Seven will air later this year, followed by the Christmas Special, with the remaining eight to follow in the New Year.

Meanwhile, Scots actress Karen Gillan has won the lead in a film about a haunted mirror, according to the Radio Times. Gillan, from Inverness, leaves her role as Doctor Who companion Amy Pond in episode five of Series Seven, and not in the Christmas Special as I previously suggested might be the case. In new US horror film, Oculus, she will play Kaylie whose brother is convicted of murdering their parents. Kaylie believes an antique looking-glass was responsible. It’s not the first time one of The Doctor’s companions has worked on a horror movie. Shortly before starting work on Doctor Who, Billie Piper played Jenny in Spirit Trap, alongside Russian pop star Alsou. It was released in August 2005 to generally poor reviews. After being returned to her own time and space in the classic series, Wendy Padbury appeared in Piers Haggard’s excellent cult 1971 British horror film Blood On Satan’s Claw as the unfortunate Cathy Vespers. And we shouldn’t forget Lalla Ward who began her acting career as Helga in the hypnotically stylish 1972 Hammer Horror film Vampire Circus.

Keeping it in the family

Mother and daughter Dame Diana Rigg and Rachael Stirling are to star side-by-side in a Doctor Who adventure to be broadcast next year. Dame Diana is probably still best known for her role as high-kicking Mrs Emma Peel in two seasons of The Avengers during the Sixties. She has, of course, done much since including starring opposite James Wilby in the memorable BBC psychological drama Mother Love. She also played Lady Dedlock, to excellent effect, in the 1985 version of Bleak House, as well as appearing alongside Charles Dance and Emilia Fox in ITV’s adaptation of Daphne Du Maurier’s Rebecca. Rachael, on the other hand, achieved notoriety appearing alongside Keeley Hawes in lesbian drama Tipping The Velvet and has more recently been seen in the BBC Four retelling of DH Lawrence’s Women In Love (pictured) and its prequel The Rainbow. It is the first time the pair have worked together on screen. The actresses will play “a mother and daughter with a dark secret” up against Matt Smith’s Doctor and new companion Jenna-Louise Coleman. Filming of the story began this week at Roath Lock Studios in Cardiff.

Meanwhile, over on the other side, Matt’s immediate Time Lord predecessor David Tennant will play a detective in new drama Broadchurch, about the death of a young boy in a seaside town, ITV1 has announced. The eight-part series has been penned by Doctor Who and Torchwood writer Chris Chibnall. He wrote the real-time episode 42 in which David’s Doctor had to prevent a spaceship from crashing into the Sun and, more recently, the two-part Silurian adventure for Matt’s Doctor. Tennant leads an ensemble cast featuring Rev actress Olivia Colman and Will Mellor, best known for the interminable Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps and, latterly, White Van Man although, to his credit, he did once appear in an early episode of Merlin! Arthur Darvill, who plays current Doctor Who Matt Smith’s sidekick Rory, will appear as the town priest. See what I mean about keeping it in the family? Nepotism just ain’t what it used to be! Still, something to look forward to on the independent channel, bearing in mind that the much-delayed transmission of the fifth season of Primeval, screening at a ridiculously early time, is currently ITV1’s best show!!

Taking care of Carey

Five years ago, many red-blooded Doctor Who fans were clamouring for actress Carey Mulligan to become the Doctor’s next companion after she almost single-handedly carried the episode Blink. It was not to be. Freema Agyeman was replaced by Catherine Tate and Carey’s character, Sally Sparrow, became but a birdcall in the garden of fond memories! Miss Mulligan has, of course, gone on to bigger things, though not necessarily greater. It’s unlikely we’ll ever see her back in Doctor Who, even though its current show-runner, Steven Moffat, created her character in a short story for an annual before embellishing it into a full-blown television episode.

I first noticed Carey in 2005, two years before her appearance in Series Three of Doctor Who, when she took on the role of Ada Clare, one of the wards in the court case of Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce, in Andrew Davies’ excellent BBC adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Bleak House. I thought her extraordinarily pretty but predicted Anna Maxwell Martin, who played another of the wards, Esther Summerson, would go on to be the more successful of the two female leads. I was wrong, possibly. Their stories aren’t over yet and it depends how you define success. Anna’s worked solidly in this country while Carey has tried her hand at working in Hollywood. America suits some better than others. It may mean bigger bucks but the jobs aren’t necessarily as satisfying.

Carey Mulligan’s portrayal of the gifted-but-emotionally-impressionable Jenny, in the BBC-funded An Education, was the breakthrough role which brought her to the attention of American producers such as Oliver Stone. It wasn’t long before she found herself starring opposite Michael Douglas, playing his daughter of all things, in the Wall Street sequel Money Never Sleeps. I know the tagline of the original was “greed is good” but surely Catherine Zeta Jones must be handful enough?! The image above shows Carey on the set of neo-noir road movie Drive, wearing shades - I suspect - not to look cool but to hide tired eyes from the glare of paparazzi! Should you want to see her naked, and I know you all hanker after nothing else, look no further than Steve McQueen’s tale of sex-addiction, Shame, in which she plays Michael Fassbender’s saucy sister Sissy. To be fair, there’s much more to this psychological drama than Mulligan’s mammaries, as gratifying as it may be to finally catch a glimpse!

If you can’t get enough of her loving (and who can?), Carey Hannah can also be seen, brassiere intact, opposite the likes of Jim Broadbent and Colin Firth in And When Did You Last See Your Father?; as Kitty Bennet in the film version of Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice, alongside Keira Knightley, Brenda Blethyn and Donald Sutherland; and in an ITV1 adaptation of Northanger Abbey as Isabella Thorpe. To bring her story smack-bang up to date, she has just finished working with Titanic heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio and Romeo + Juliet director Baz Luhrmann on a remake of The Great Gatsby, due out on Christmas Day, playing the role Mia Farrow brought to life in the 1974 film version of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, the superficial Daisy Buchanan. Give me your answer, do!

Whatever happened to the teenage dream?

When I was growing up, assuming that I did manage to climb to the top of that particular mountain, it was presumed that what children wanted on television in the way of drama was escapist fodder. Thus my memories are full of daring-do on the high seas, in shows such as Freewheelers, or moderately scary outer-space malarkey on Saturday teatimes during the late Sixties, in the company of Patrick Troughton and chums! Doctor Who was aimed at intelligent 12-year-olds, although I was a little younger when Pat was the Doc, but designed for all the family to enjoy. The lovelies that accompanied our hero were always suitably attired… yes, they wore miniskirts and, thus, showed a bit of leg but it never really went beyond that. If you wanted to see Wendy Padbury having sex, you wouldn’t see her engaged in the deed on either of the aforementioned series. You’d have to stay up late and catch her in Blood On Satan’s Claw for that kind of thing! Even when you got a bit older, sex was never really a staple for teenage consumption. The closest television was ever going to get to linking the two would be Marc Bolan and T.Rex encouraging us to Get It On, on Top Of The Pops in 1971. The girls dancing amongst the studio audience weren’t dressed to ever suggest that that prospect was an actual possibility.

So, here we are, 40 years on, and your offspring are more likely to want to watch Hollyoaks or Skins than an episode of Doctor Who or The Sarah Jane Adventures. It’s not hip to enjoy a rollicking good yarn with the faint hint of a moral message in these enlightened times. We’ve got to concern ourselves with the issues of the day and wallow in all things problematical. Is Johnny finally coming out of the closet or has he just been in the bathroom an awfully long time?! Is Jenny on the pill and having underage sex? Probably, considering how much mascara she has on, not to mention the boob spillage from her low-cut tops! It isn’t just 16-year-old girls that want to watch Skins. If they have a younger sister, the sibling won’t want to be left out. They’ll want to see it too, even though I presume it’s the older lasses who are the target audience. The lads will be tuning in to see how much flesh is on display, rather than to learn about safe sex. Childhood no longer exists anymore. It’s been gradually eroded away by commercial interests, despite self-appointed moral guardians doing their level best to stop anyone, of any age, from being remotely titillated by anything they see on the box. Alf Garnet once complained he couldn’t find the pornography Mary Whitehouse was fussing over… and he’d looked on every channel!

The Tracks Of My Tears

London’s Leicester Square was transformed into a running track, earlier in the week, for the premiere of new athletics film Fast Girls. The British drama, released only weeks before the London Olympics (oh, how I’m looking forward to that!), follows a female sprint relay team as they attempt to qualify for a world championship. Its main actresses, who faced a gruelling training regime before making the film, swapped their sweaty Lycra running costumes for designer gowns as they arrived on a red carpet complete with track markings at the Odeon West End. Leading lovelies Lenora Crichlow, best known for her role as Annie in Being Human, and Lily James were joined by co-stars Whitechapel actor Phil Davis and Rose’s on/off boyfriend in Doctor Who Noel Clarke - who co-wrote the film - and real-life sporting personalities including Dame Kelly Holmes.

James said the rigorous exercise and diet routine, to prepare for the part, drove her to tears at times. “It was such a change physically and mentally at first,” she explained. “It was really, really hard. When filming wrapped, it was Christmas, so I ate and I ate and I ate. My stomach was bursting at the seams.” It sounds as though Lily should be in the next Alien sequel! The actress went on to say she had more respect for real athletes since making the film, and joked that she was keen to show off her new skills at the Olympics. “I might compete! I’ve been thinking about it,” she quipped. “But, I’ll let them have their day!”

Crichlow, who plays James’ rival on the track, said she could not stop reading the script when she first received it. “I think it’s a really fresh, unique way of telling an age-old underdog story,” she said. For my money, the extraordinarily beautiful Lenora is the black answer to Billie Piper. “It’s got fantastic female British leads,” she added. “They’re the heroes of the piece. It’s a really positive way of depicting women.”

Fast Girls is released nationwide on Friday, June 15th.

The Bradbury Chronicles

American science-fiction writer Ray Bradbury has died in Los Angeles at the age of 91. One of his four daughters, Alexandra, confirmed that her father passed away on Tuesday night in Southern California, although she did not give any further details.

Bradbury wrote hundreds of novels, short stories, plays and television and film scripts in a career dating back to the 1940s. His most famous novels include Fahrenheit 451 and Something Wicked This Way Comes.

Ray was born in 1920 in Illinois and, as a teenager, moved with his family to Los Angeles. For three years, after leaving school, he earned a living selling newspapers, writing in his spare time. From the early 1940s, his short stories started to appear in magazines such as Weird Tales, Astounding Science Fiction and Captain Future. In 1947, he married Marguerite ‘Maggie’ McClure and published his first book, a collection of short stories, Dark Carnival.

Three years later, Bradbury began to establish his reputation with The Martian Chronicles. They were a collection of stories about materialistic Earthmen colonising and ruinously exploiting Mars, a commentary on the Cold War. It was turned into a memorably bizarre TV mini-series starring Rock Hudson.

Ray’s most celebrated novel, Fahrenheit 451, published in 1953, depicts a future society where books are banned and firemen start fires rather than put them out, a critique on the evils of censorship and thought control in a totalitarian state. The story, which gets its title from the temperature at which paper spontaneously ignites, proved to be uncannily prophetic. The characters are addicted to TV soap operas, while miniature headphones provide a stream of music and news. A film version starring Julie Christie, photographed by Nicolas Roeg with a music score by Hitchcock-composer Bernard Herrmann, directed by Francois Truffaut, was released in 1966.

For years, Bradbury tried to prevent the publication of Fahrenheit 451 as an e-book. He told the New York Times that electronic books “smell like burned fuel” and called the internet “a big distraction”. “It’s meaningless; it’s not real. It’s in the air somewhere,” he said. But he relented in 2011, when his publishing deal was renewed. His agent said, “We explained the situation to him, that a new contract wouldn’t be possible without e-book rights. He understood and gave us the right to go ahead.”

Bradbury also authored several works for film and television. He wrote the screenplay for John Huston’s 1956 film version of Moby Dick and scripts for many TV series, including Suspense, The Alfred Hitchcock Show and The Twilight Zone. Director Ridley Scott paid homage to the writer in Blade Runner, naming the hotel residence of character JF Sebastian The Bradbury!

Ray was passionate about literature. Although his writing had slowed in recent years due to a stroke, which meant he had to use a wheelchair, Bradbury remained active. He penned new novels, plays, screenplays and a volume of poetry, writing every day in the basement office of his home in Los Angeles. “The great fun in my life has been getting up every morning and rushing to the typewriter because some new idea has hit me,” he said in 2000. “The feeling I have every day is very much the same as it was when I was 12.”

Ray’s grandson, Danny Karapetian, tweeted, “The world has lost one of the best writers it’s ever known, and one of the dearest men to my heart. RIP Ray Bradbury (Ol’ Gramps).”

Opening salvo

Doctor Who will return in September, this year, with an opening episode entitled Asylum Of The Daleks! Sounds intriguing. In the season which celebrates the programme’s Fiftieth Anniversary, in 2013, what better way to start than with a story that promises to feature every single Dalek design ever seen in the series, since its inception in 1963, on screen simultaneously. This is how a series of Doctor Who should begin. Go in with all guns blazing! Some fans sometimes suggest the Daleks are overused, especially since the show’s return in 2005. But the statistics don’t really support their argument, even if it seems as though the pepper pots from Skaro are always popping up. It’s true that, in the general public’s eye, the mutant creatures are synonymous with the series. When Catherine Tate joined Doctor Who as companion Donna Noble, the actress assumed the Doctor battled the Daleks every episode… clearly a big fan! The two Peter Cushing Doctor Who films, of the 1960s, did much to reinforce this notion, so it is understandable. Never underestimate the importance of the Daleks in regards the popularity of Doctor Who. You’re less likely to do so, I think, if you grew up during their initial heyday, rather than in the programme’s second decade where the makers of the series perhaps became less interested in harnessing their full potential.

Pictured with current Doctor Who regulars, Matt Smith and Karen Gillan, is an appropriately dust-and-cobweb-covered version of a Dalek not seen in a Doctor Who adventure since 1967! I see this particular metal menace every night, before going to bed, and each morning, before my Malt Bites, because a scale model resides on my dressing table. Personal problems aside, this Dalek-type last saw the light of day in the original Series Four finale The Evil Of The Daleks. This seven-parter was supposed to herald “the final end” of the Daleks whilst creator Terry Nation tried, unsuccessfully, to flog them to the Americans. Apart from the first-ever repeat of an entire serial, a year after its initial broadcast, and not counting the odd cameo, the Daleks wouldn’t be seen again in the series until the beginning of Season Nine. With the exception of episode two, which saw the introduction of my all-time favourite companion Victoria Waterfield played by Deborah Watling, The Evil Of The Daleks is one of many stories missing from the BBC archives - Exterminated by the carelessness and crassness of bureaucracy! The Daleks themselves would be proud of such vile annihilation. It’s also the adventure many fans would most like to see recovered. Fury From The Deep is top of my list but Evil is second.

Much of the filming for the new Seventh Series of Doctor Who has been taking place abroad. The Producers must be onto some good package deals, considering the show has always been so budget conscious! But, they’ve visited Spain and are currently in the United States. Specifically, Matt, Karen, and Arthur Darvill are presently recording in Central Park, Manhattan - the very location of the David Tennant two-part Dalek adventure from five years ago. Except, David, and Freema Agyeman, never got to visit New York for the story, using Cardiff as a double instead! It reminds me a little of when Janet Fielding (Tegan) left the series, back in 1984, only for the next story to be partly shot in Lanzarote! Incoming Nicola Bryant (Peri) had all the benefits!! It seems unlikely the Daleks will also be revisiting Manhattan Island, as the logistics would surely make this impractical, but you never know what’s around the corner in the worlds of Doctor Who. They’ve shipped a red double-decker bus out to Dubai, in the past, so what’s a multiplicity of Daleks?!! In a television universe that’s seen fit to abandon Survivors, Outcasts, Spooks, Hustle, Medium and even Doctor Who Confidential, not to mention banishing the 53-year-old Blue Peter to CBBC, in favour of interminable coverage of both the Olympic Games and Queen’s Jubilee, I, for one, am looking forward to the next series of Doctor Who!

The Actor Factor

As pop temptress Rihanna embarks on her maiden voyage of discovery, in the acting world, aboard Peter Berg’s Battleship, it’s as good as time as any to take a brief look at how other chart-toppers have fared upon leaving the relative comfort of the recording studio to try their hand at this alternative profession! Rihanna isn’t the first honey to don combats. Kylie’s already been there, done that… and surprisingly good in them she looked too. Street Fighter was terrible, also based on a video/computer game, but she was sufficiently distracting to take our attention from villain Raul Julia’s over-the-top performance. Sometimes the line is blurred as to whether or not a singer is a singer, from the outset of their career, or an actor/actress first. Kylie Minogue started out in Neighbours, of course, and she recently returned to acting for a one-off appearance in Doctor Who, appropriately on board the luxury Starship Titanic, but she’s best known as a pop starlet whose snug bottom fits golden hot pants to perfection! Rihanna’s debut, as Raikes, looks like being an even more explosive affair, as she kicks butt all the way to kingdom come, although the director insists that, unlike other movies of this type, Battleship doesn’t lose sight of its characters.

Billie Piper trained as an actress but started in show business, at the tender age of 16, as a pop star and it wasn’t until she joined the cast of Doctor Who that anyone seemed to realise. Unlike Kylie, we won’t be hearing any new recordings from Billie for a while… she now seems embarrassed by her former career and has put it well and truly behind her! The same seems to be the case for Hannah Spearritt. After initial success with S Club 7, she’s perhaps better known, at present, for her starring role in Primeval. But will she find any more acting work in the future, once the ITV sci-fi series has expired for good? Irish songstress Samantha Mumba also had a brief flirtation with the genre, when she appeared in the most recent adaptation of HG Wells’ The Time Machine, but it doesn’t seem to have led to greater roles or a return to pop. Britney Spears dabbled, in buddy movie Crossroads (no, not the Birmingham-based soap opera of the same name!), but seems happier when strutting her funky star-spangled stuff (spank her booty, one more time)!! The less said about Madonna the better, except when blow-drying her armpits, while playing herself opposite Rosanna Arquette, in Desperately Seeking Susan.

Perhaps the most successful collaborations between pop singers and moviemakers has occurred when the groove merchants have teamed up with director Nicolas Roeg. First there was Mick Jagger, working with James Fox, in gangster flick Performance. Art Garfunkel had a tempestuous relationship with Roeg’s wife, Theresa Russell, in Bad Timing. Best of all, however, was when David Bowie played alien Thomas Jerome Newton in Nic’s adaptation of Walter Tevis’s novel The Man Who Fell To Earth. I suppose you could argue Bowie was playing himself, after a succession of pop alter egos that include Ziggy Stardust, Aladdin Sane and The Thin White Duke, but the result is still one of the most thought-provoking science fiction films about alienation ever made. Bowie’s had a reasonably successful stint as an actor, also starring in Tony Scott’s dreamlike vampire-fest The Hunger; as a goblin in Terry Jones’s Labyrinth, a sort of cross between Monty Python and Sesame Street; and alongside Tom Conti and Ryuichi Sakamoto in harrowing prisoner of war saga Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. He even made a cameo in David Lynch’s Twin Peaks prequel Fire Walk With Me. So, I guess you could say the Starman is multitalented!

The Prettiest Star

The viewing public often think the term Best Actor or Actress applies to how good looking they find a particular personality, whether on television or in movie theatres! This is, of course, not the case. The term refers to those lucky few ladies and gents who have honed their craft to the pinnacle of perfection, as perceived by their peers. This piece isn’t necessarily about them but, as an heterosexual male, concerns women I think have been blessed with extraordinarily good looks, those with a pleasant face who are nice to look at. If these ladies are really fortunate, they may possess a talent as well! My selection is purely subjective. Some men, no doubt, find Clare Balding better looking than Marilyn Monroe. But a pleasing persona is equally important. If one is irritated by particular phrases or quirky mannerisms, an otherwise perfectly charming member of the opposite sex is going to come across as unattractive, dare I say ugly! But, I’m not going to dwell on those unfortunates; rather move swiftly on to the gals with bucket loads of charisma and oodles and oodles of sex appeal…

As a child, I found myself attracted to some of the actresses playing the companion in Doctor Who, namely Anneke Wills, Deborah Watling and Wendy Padbury. I had a crush on pop singer Sandie Shaw and was disappointed when Gabrielle Drake failed to make an appearance in the latest episode of UFO. As I moved into my teenage years, I was torn between Jenny Agutter and Judy Geeson. Jenny is gorgeous as an abandoned schoolgirl in the Australian outback in Walkabout, and as “Stay off the line, Bobbie” in The Railway Children, but is at her most perfect in dystopian science fiction thriller Logan’s Run. She and Judy both featured in Churchill-kidnap saga The Eagle Has Landed while Judy and Debbie went on to appear on television in Danger UXB. Judy’s sister Sally was an added attraction to ITV sitcom Bless This House. Some of Hammer’s finest, also the James Bond franchise, partly owe their success to the added glamour of starlets such as Linda Hayden and Caroline Munroe. As the Seventies drew to a close, Sandie was usurped by “the pull of the bush”, Kate Bush!

By 1984, the black and white dollies of the Patrick Troughton era of Doctor Who found themselves giving way to the ample charms of Nicola Bryant. Judy and Sally Geeson made way for another pair of acting sisters, Caroline and Susannah Harker. Susannah made her name in productions such as House Of Cards and Pride And Prejudice while Caroline achieved much the same in Middlemarch, Moll Flanders, Fay Weldon’s Growing Rich, and with David Jason in A Touch Of Frost. Never much of a fan of this plodding detective drama, I didn’t minded watching an episode if WPC Hazel Wallace was in on any action! More recently, I’ve been drawn to Medium, remembering Patricia Arquette from Eighties’ horror-fest Dream Warriors, the third instalment of A Nightmare On Elm St., only to fall for her onscreen daughter Ariel, portrayed by upcoming actress Sofia Vassilieva. Sofia is, quite possibly, the most stunning looking girl I’ve ever seen and yet she seems to carry herself with such poise and grace. Jenny Agutter and Caroline Harker have been joined in my affections by sweet Sofia!