My Vision is NOT Impaired

My eyesight isn’t as good as it used to be! That said, I’m looking forward to seeing the return of the Daleks on Saturday. Some say the murdering swine from Skaro have been overused since the series returned in 2005 but, personally, I can’t get enough of them. To me, they’re what “Doctor Who” is all about.

Those who came to “Doctor Who” during the Seventies, and in particular during the Tom Baker era, may have a different perspective on the Daleks. The creatures were only seen twice during Tom’s seven-year reign as the Doctor, highly successfully on their “Genesis” outing opposite Time Lord number four but not quite so whilst seeking out their “Destiny”! The Daleks weren’t so dominant during this part of the show’s history.

I grew up watching “Doctor Who” in the Sixties. I was a child during Dalekmania. My brother and I had a toy Dalek each that ran off batteries. We collected the set of thirty-six adventure cards, ostensibly “free” with Wall’s “Sky Ray” ice lollies, in which “Dr. Who” joined forces with the Space Raiders to battle the Daleks. We went to see the two movies at the cinema starring Peter Cushing. Not inappropriately, the first was called “Dr. Who and the Daleks”. Around this time, 1965, the Daleks became synonymous with “Doctor Who”.

Bernard Cribbins played P.C. Tom Campbell in the 1966 sequel, “Daleks’ Invasion Earth 2150 A.D.”, and it’ll no doubt fuel a wave of nostalgia this weekend to, once again, see the actor waging war on the streets of London against the metal mutants. The time-travelling copper even came face to face with a Red Dalek! A Dalek of a similar hue can be seen in “The Stolen Earth”, the first episode of the two-part Season Four finale.

I skived off wind band rehearsal, one Saturday morning, to see both Dalek films in a double bill at the Odeon. I remember being irritated with all the younger kids, at the matinée with their mothers, who wouldn’t be quiet so I could concentrate on the exterminatingly exciting, otherworldly, enthralling entertainment!

Warden’s Watch: Midnight

I found myself groaning as the latest episode of “Doctor Who”, named after the planet “Midnight”, began in the usual comedy-laden style of Russell T. Davies but, by its conclusion, realised I had been thoroughly gripped. In a bizarre twist of the pen, episode ten was much more terrifying than the preceding two-parter by Steven Moffat, which I admired more than enjoyed. While Moffat’s adventure was experimental in nature, RTD’s story was more a case of horror by the book, though none the worse because of that. Once it got past its silliness, “Midnight” became thoroughly scary. In fact, the throwaway lightness of the opening moments only served to heighten the horror once it kicked in. Possession is always a reliable storyteller… with no need for monsters so obviously human in rubber suits. What you can’t see is often more frightening than what you can because once something is visible you can make an assessment as how, best, to deal with it.

I’ve always found Lesley Sharp to be a reliably good actress. In this week’s episode of “Doctor Who”, she played her role, as being under the influence of an unknown alien entity, for all she was worth. She didn’t look down on the show as, somehow, being dramatically inferior. Even Rusty in his writing capacity, obliged to let us know Sky was a lesbian, didn’t manage to ruin it for Lesley with his too often-repeated personal agenda! David Troughton, also, sustained a good performance as Professor Hobbes, even giving those of us with long televisual memories welcome hints of his “A Very Peculiar Practice” character, Doctor Bob Buzzard! Loved it when he shook hands with the Doctor. It was like the ghost of his dad, Patrick, greeting the present incarnation… though Troughton junior’s been in the show in his own right of course, notably as King Peladon, during the run of his father’s successor.

Much of the pre-publicity for “Midnight” focused on Lindsey Coulson because we’re all supposed to know who she is from “EastEnders”. But, not being a watcher of soaps, the BBC’s presumption was lost on me! Having looked it up, I’m able to inform those of you in a similar position to myself that she played somebody called Carol Jackson!! And, naturally, that leaves us all none the wiser!!! I was more interested in one of her co-stars. The production team seems to have developed a penchant, this year, for actresses with the Christian name Ayesha. “Planet of the Ood” featured Ayesha Dharker as Solana Mercurio and, now, “Midnight” introduced us to gorgeous “Grange Hill” actress Ayesha Antoine as the Professor’s put-upon prodigy Dee Dee Blasco. Curious how the younger characters in this story were shown as smarter than their elders. Older folk are not necessarily immune to new ideas!

Unlike Miss Dharker in the earlier episode this season, Miss Antoine survived to the end of the current story which, in itself, makes a refreshing change. Not everyone lived in Russell’s latest, a contentious issue since the conclusion of Moffat’s overly-optimistic recent opus. “Midnight” saw the demise of all three crew members together with the possessed passenger, the ship’s hostess taking the latter in a moment of self-sacrifice. The suggestion the hostess knew the Doctor wasn’t human was a nice touch, though I’m sure there will be those wanting an answer as to how she knew rather than just enjoying the joke. Rose appeared briefly again, still in a state of distress, unseen by the Doctor who had his back to the monitor on which she appeared to call his name. Next week, we’ll be able to see Billie Piper in full, so to speak, but the Doctor will have to wait that little bit longer…

Warden’s Watch: Out of Time

While “Out of Time” is the title of one of the better episodes in the first series of “Torchwood”, it is also the name of the most recent chapter, to be broadcast on BBC Two, in the continuing epic that is “Heroes”. The seventh instalment of this increasingly surreal drama bore witness to both separation and reunion. While Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) and Caitlin (Katie Carr) were heartbreakingly ripped asunder, clinging to each other’s fingertips through wire fencing, and while Hiro (Masi Oka) felt duty bound to leave the love of his life in feudal Japan, it was life-affirming to see best mates Ando (James Kyson Lee) and Hiro back together again in the present day… and about bloody time! I’m not sure keeping these two wonderfully harmonious characters apart for a seeming eternity was such a wise idea. But, without their prolonged separation, their reunification wouldn’t have been half as joyous.

Though it has clearly slowed down the series’ progress a little, I haven’t disliked entirely the strand set in the seventeenth century, that curious ménage à trois involving Hiro, Yaeko (Eriko Tamura) and Takezo Kensei (David Anders)! This bizarrely beautiful love story is quite clearly a reworking of Edmond Rostand’s “Cyrano de Bergerac”… but without the big nose! The cliff-hanger revelation, at the end of “Out of Time”, that Takezo and Adam Monroe, one of the founders of the company, are actually one and the same caught me completely by surprise. For those who are interested, I’ve posted ten screen caps of cheerleader Claire Bennet (Hayden Panettiere), from series one of “Heroes”, on TimeWarden’s Jukebox. I look forward to watching the remaining four chapters of this series hoping for a return to full length come season three.

Telly Visions: Katie Carr

There’s a new babe on the “Heroes” block, this series, and her name is Katie Carr. Actually, there are several new “sweethearts” and, while they are all very pretty, the standout for me is the actress who plays Peter Petrelli’s Irish girlfriend, Caitlin, in six of the eleven episodes. I can forgive her the cod accent of the character’s homeland which, to be honest, I find quite endearing and only serves to make her more cute than she already looks! Katie is in her early thirties and was actually born in London so you might think she’d have a finer grasp of the sound of Ireland but it doesn’t necessarily follow. There are possibly many reasons why the producers of “Heroes” have opted to give all the Irish characters a similar brogue. Sadly, she will only be seen once more in this curtailed, because of the American writers’ strike, second series of the comic-book saga. If you’re interested in seeking out her appearances on the show then they’re in chapters two, three, five through seven, and ten; namely, “Lizards”, “Kindred”, “Fight or Flight”, “The Line”, “Out of Time” and penultimate episode “Truth & Consequences”. I’m also reliably informed she is an underwear model and was the Gossard Girl in Gossard’s advertising campaign of 2002-2003. Last season of “Heroes”, my crush was Nora Zehetner… this time around, it’s most definitely the cuddly Katie Carr!!

Top of My Pops: Five Favourite Albums

I’ve been tagged by Simon, of the “Old Cheeser” variety, to come up with a list of my all-time favourite popular music albums. Being too good an opportunity to waste, I’ve decided to extend the idea to future posts as I feel it’s more worthwhile to dwell a little on each of my choices, and why I like what I do, rather than just state what rocks my boat! In forthcoming “Top of My Pops” features, as well as albums, I’ll also be covering singles and individual songs/tracks. So, without further ado, and in no particular order of preference, here are five of my favourite albums…

1. Country Life by Roxy Music (1974)

The fourth studio album by Roxy Music, “Country Life”, consolidated the achievements of the previous two records without really breaking any new ground but I’ve always felt it to be a substantial collection nonetheless. “Bitter-Sweet”, for example, is a direct descendant of “A Song for Europe” from third album “Stranded” while my favourite track, “Prairie Rose”, a song expressing Ferry’s love at that time for “Siren” model Jerry Hall, builds on musical ideas established in “Editions of You”, a number from the second album “For Your Pleasure”. DJ Alan Freeman believed “Stranded” to be the classic Roxy Music album while many fans opt for its predecessor. I, however, have a soft spot for the sequel to the classic. “Country Life” includes the single “All I Want is You” as well as the energetically vibrant “The Thrill of It All” and the excellent bass-pounding “Out of the Blue”.

2. Aladdin Sane by David Bowie (1973)

While many fans opt for David Bowie’s breakthrough album, “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars”, I prefer its successor, “Aladdin Sane”, despite the fact that “Ziggy” includes the better single in “Starman”. “The Jean Genie” is my least favourite track on “Aladdin Sane”. Much better is the follow-up, “Drive-In Saturday”, originally offered to Mott the Hoople, to cement the success of “All the Young Dudes”, but rejected in favour of building on initial success, from the Bowie composition, with material of their own creation. For years, my favourite track on “Aladdin Sane” was rock-driven “Cracked Actor” but, on recent re-evaluation, I currently rate the title track above all others in the collection. The reason for this is pianist Mike Garson. He takes conventional pop songs, bends and steers them towards jazz-tinged avant-garde, and produces something unique.

3. The Best Years of Our Lives by Steve Harley & Cockney Rebel (1975)

“The Best Years of Our Lives” was Cockney Rebel’s third album but the first with the new line-up that included classically-trained keyboard player Duncan MacKay, who would later work on number one recordings by Kate Bush and 10cc, and guitarist Jim Cregan, future collaborator with Rod Stewart and Katie Melua. This Steve Harley recording spawned the massively successful chart-topping single “Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)”, later used to good effect in Brit-flick “The Full Monty”. The follow-up, “Mr. Raffles (Man It was Mean)”, while nowhere near as popular, influenced one of my early songs, “Yvonne (You Turn Me On)”, both musically and lyrically in that I essentially rewrote Steve’s song in the minor while the “Yvonne” of the title was a reference to Harley’s backing vocalist and girlfriend of the time, Yvonne Keeley! My favourite track on “Best Years”, and also my favourite Harley song, is the marvellously nutty “Back to the Farm”.

4. Magical Mystery Tour by The Beatles (1967)

The Beatles’ album “Magical Mystery Tour” probably isn’t as highly regarded as its groundbreaking immediate-predecessor, “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”, due to the nature of its original release in the UK. What eventually became Side One of the LP, nine years after the six songs’ initial release as a double EP, were the tracks actually used in the film of the same name. Side Two was comprised of five A and B-sides released in the same year. But, what a collection! On the first side, arguably the best compositions by both John Lennon, in the anarchic “I am the Walrus”, and Paul McCartney, with the haunting “The Fool on the Hill”, while, on the second, possibly the finest double A-sided single in the history of popular music, namely “Strawberry Fields Forever” and “Penny Lane”. As if that wasn’t enough, to top it all, the whole album is rounded off with the anthemic “All You Need is Love”.

5. Forty Licks by The Rolling Stones (2002)

I’m not overly keen on compilation albums but The Rolling Stones’ “Forty Licks” is such good value it’s very hard to resist! It actually packs a whopping 235MB while the quality of the music, throughout the entire two-disc set, is every bit as fulfilling as the quantity. The record does what it says on the sleeve, and includes forty songs spanning a forty-year recording career. Most of my favourite Stones’ tracks are present including “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction”, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” and “Brown Sugar”. David Bowie covered “Let’s Spend the Night Together”, at breakneck speed, on “Aladdin Sane” and, on “Forty Licks”, the original version closes the first disc. My one gripe about the collection is that it doesn’t include “We Love You”. This, piano-led, rocker of a tune can be found on the more recent “Rolled Gold Plus”. In the words of The Strolling Bones’ front man, Michael Philip Jagger himself, “It’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll (But I Like It)”!

Another selection to follow, at a later date…

Telly Visions: Talulah Riley

I’ve mentioned her before, in passing, but it was over two-and-a-quarter years ago… I even posted her picture to accompany the piece… So, it was good to see Talulah Riley back on our screens last night, in the “Doctor Who” episode “Silence in the Library”, although, sadly, her time in the story was short-lived. You can bet your bottom dollar that if I fancy someone, they’re the first character to be killed off! It happened a couple of years ago with MyAnna Buring, in “The Impossible Planet”, much to my annoyance!! I saw it coming this time, though, as I hadn’t seen Talulah in any of the prepublicity stills accompanying the hype surrounding Steven Moffat’s excellent latest adventure. She wasn’t featured in any of the trailers, either, so I was beginning to think her appearance was nothing more than a myth. In fact, I did notice the actress afterwards, in the accompanying “Doctor Who Confidential” documentary “Shadow Play”, having her photo taken, in costume, in a group shot with the rest of the astronauts. Hopefully, this picture will be made available shortly! There’s an old showbiz adage says “always leave them wanting more” and I suppose this was the case with tasty Talulah! The bizarrely named Miss Evangelista, her character, was reduced to a talking skeleton two thirds into the episode!! Sounds even more grotesque than her name but, believe me, in the context of the narrative, it worked.

Talulah is probably best known for her performance, alongside Donald Sutherland and Brenda Blethyn, as Mary Bennet in the recent movie version of “Pride & Prejudice”. I first came across Miss Riley, though, in an episode of “Agatha Christie’s Marple”, entitled “The Moving Finger”, in which she played the hopelessly lovelorn Megan Hunter to perfection. She certainly made me sit up and take notice, at any rate! Most recently, Talulah (spelling her name with two Ls and an H!) has been seen back on the big screen as sweet schoolgirl Annabelle Fritton, in the remake of “St. Trinian’s”, numbering Gemma Arterton, Lily Cole and Girls Aloud amongst her classmates. Yeah, I know, I seem obsessed with that film of late! But, Talulah does look good in uniform, though I can’t say for sure if she was wearing fishnet stockings and suspenders under her white astronaut costume in “Doctor Who”!! I’d like to think so! I was slightly surprised she’d accepted such a small role considering her steadily increasing credentials. It probably boils down to accepting the parts on offer, plus there is the added prestige of including the show on her CV. Lizo Mzimba, Entertainment Correspondent for BBC News and former long-serving presenter, reporter and assistant producer of CBBC’s “Newsround”, was also complimentary of the twenty-two-year-old’s stint on the episode saying, “Talulah Riley is fantastic as the not too bright Miss Evangelista - she’d make a wonderful and very different companion to the Doctor.” Naturally, I’ve posted some screen caps, on my Jukebox blog, over which you are all invited to ogle!

Whiter than White!

I feel I should apologise unreservedly for the gratuitous use of the word “knickers” in my previous post! I had no idea it could cause anyone the least offence. While I’m at it, I would also like to express deep regret for mentioning the unmentionable - “bra and panties” if you missed it, or couldn’t be bothered reading the text accompanying the supposedly salacious shot of t.A.T.u.’s lovely Lena! Following the premiere of Julie Walters vehicle “Filth: The Mary Whitehouse Story” last Wednesday evening, I bring the matter to your attention, now, upon the realisation that, were she still alive, Mary Whitehouse would not have found my article “appropriate”. But, then, she seems to have had no sense of humour whatsoever…

There is the possibility that the BBC are partially responsible for this country’s continuing decline in moral standards, whatever they may be, but to make a complaint, even back in 1967, over the airing of The Beatles’ witty classic “I Am The Walrus” defies belief! Mary was worried about the then-forthcoming transmission of the group’s “Magical Mystery Tour” TV movie, scheduled for broadcast on Boxing Day of said year, when many families would be watching, no doubt assuming that any mention of ladies’ lingerie would be a corrupting influence on impressionable minds. I find it hard to imagine the tireless campaigner listening to any pop record with such intensity, ready to jot down the slightest deviancy! The offending lyric, which caused Mrs Whitehouse much concern, reads…

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog’s eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen,
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.

The inspiration for Lennon’s lyric actually comes from a playground nursery rhyme…

Yellow matter custard, green slop pie,
All mixed together with a dead dog’s eye,
Slap it on a butty, ten foot thick,
Then wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

You could argue that the latter is more offensive than the former, certainly more disgusting, yet these words were heard out of the mouths of babes and sucklings long before the advent of the Nanny State. But the word that bothered Mary was “knickers”. The undergarment is simply an item of clothing, a piece of cloth, so I can only assume it was the association, that said piece of material actually comes into contact with a woman’s vagina, which bothered her. This says more about her state of mind than anything else! Surely, next post, I should apologise for using the word “vagina” but at least I didn’t use the vulva term “pussy” or, worse still, “cunt”!!

In the Eye of the Beholder

t.A.T.u. have released an extended video of “White Robe”, the lead single from their third studio album “Waste Management”, in which both Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova appear naked. Whether or not screen nudity upsets you, it isn’t in the least bit sensationalistic and works in the context of the narrative. Yulia is seen in the shower, water gushing over her breasts. In the original edit, the images were cropped to keep them hidden from view. Second time around, a close-up of one of her nipples is probably intended to suggest, in light of the closing revelation, that her breasts are full of milk ready to feed her unborn child. No doubt, some will suggest this is a marketing ploy. Red-headed Lena’s motives for stripping on camera are a little less clear, other than that she needs to change for work! At the start, she seems to be returning from a night on the town but it’s unclear whether or not she is moonlighting as a hooker. Her skirt is short enough to reveal her red knickers. These, in turn, are tight enough to show the cheeks of her bottom. She later removes them, together with her black bra and torn stockings, whilst lying flat on her back on her bed.

I believe the t.A.T.u. girls should’ve gone a stage further, at the end of the story, in the build up to Yulia’s execution. Rather than removing only the “White Robe” of the prisoner, it might’ve increased her vulnerability had the prison warders taken off Yulia’s bra and panties as well. With all “armour” removed, and heavily pregnant, it would have the effect of making the girl look completely defenceless. But, it’s only a minor quibble. However, I’m not sure the addition of a laughing audience, watching the “termination” of these two lives, adds significantly to the impact of the clip. I’ve never subscribed to the notion of nudity as naughty! None of it here relates, in any way, to sex but simply shows both characters as human. The girls are beautiful both in and out of clothes. After we’ve seen Lena completely naked, she appears in fresh underwear, distancing herself from her humanity by dressing in the uniform of executioner. To be honest, I think the shorter version of the song, which I posted back in January on my Jukebox blog, works better. Both realisations are hard-hitting though, regardless of preference!

Lily of the Valley

Miss Cole didn’t look like this in “St. Trinian’s”! She’s naughty in nightwear and dazzlingly demure donning unkempt school uniform, though not necessarily at the same time, but, here, looks like a heroine from a bloodcurdling Hammer Horror movie…

The lovely Lily appears as though she’s being pursued through the long and winding corridors of a great castle, somewhere in the Carpathian mountains, by a certain Count… with only a candle to guide her way.

Soft white breasts partially exposed from the plunging neckline of a deadly black ball gown, long flaming curly-red hair cascading wildly about her person, she must move quickly if she is to escape the clutches of the arch vampire.

For generations, Dracula has been looking for the perfect companion. Through all eternity, for a beauty to eclipse all others. And, now, at last he has found her… wined, dined and confined her inside the impossibly high walls of his sprawling estate.

But, the Count must make her his own. Lily must become an immortal, one of the undead… Nosferatu… be able to stride across the surface of the Earth, at his side, not just on this cold and chilly night but into infinity. She has feasted at his table and now he needs, desires, lusts, to feed on her, taste of her, drink from her… to join together, forever, in unholy matrimony.

Telly Visions: Lily Cole - Part Two

Since completing her role in “St. Trinian’s”, model-turned-actress Lily Cole has turned her attention to two other film projects. Work was actually begun on the first of these some fourteen months before landing the part of Polly in the schoolgirl crime caper. Shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, an American visually influenced by the various stage personas of David Bowie, planned to star Cole in his upcoming movie “Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll” as Alice. Shorts from the movie have been posted on Marilyn’s website and a feature-length film is, supposedly, in pre-production. From the point of view of “Telly Visions”, it would be interesting to see Lily as Alice in that my first choice of actress in this blog series, Deborah Watling, also began her career playing the same character. I wonder how different is Manson’s vision of the subject to that of Dennis Potter’s?!!

The second project, involving Lily, sees her teaming up with former “Monty Python” animator-turned-director Terry Gilliam. She was signed to play the role of Valentina in “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” scripted by the director with his regular writing partner Charles McKeown. As well as Christopher Plummer and Tom Waits, the film was to have co-starred Heath Ledger. Originally scheduled for a 2009 release, production was postponed after Ledger’s untimely death. Plummer plays Parnassus, an immortal 1,000-year-old leader of a travelling theatre troupe that offers audience members a chance to go beyond reality through a magical mirror in his possession. Waits plays the Devil, with whom the Doctor has done a deal. Cole plays the Doctor’s daughter! (Another one!!) She falls foul of the Devil, when time comes to collect on the arrangement, and the troupe, which is joined by a mysterious outsider named Tony (originally Ledger), embark on a journey through parallel worlds to rescue the girl. Ledger’s role has been recast with Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell portraying physically changed transformations of Ledger’s character as he travels through different dimensions. Very interesting. It sounds not unlike “Doctor Who”, with an added touch of Peter J. Hammond’s recent “Torchwood” episode “From Out of the Rain”!

I hope Terry Gilliam’s film sees completion. Lily has suggested she finally wants to take up her place to read Social and Political Sciences at King’s College, Cambridge, to which she has already twice deferred entry. Education is important and, being an intelligent girl as well as a beautiful one, it would be wise for her not to miss out on such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It would be nice if she could fulfil both and no doubt this creates a dilemma for her. However, she seems to have already made the decision to put both her modelling and film careers on hold in pursuit of academic excellence. I must say, I don’t blame her. With the news that the go-ahead has just been given for a further instalment of “St. Trinian’s”, it would also be good to see her returning to the part of geeky-but-pretty Polly. I look forward to seeing how it all turns out for Lily.