Let’s Stick Together

When it comes to relationships, television - and the BBC in particular - is obsessed with two diametrically opposite aspects. One was laboriously regurgitated, for the umpteenth time, in last week’s seventh episode of Torchwood: Miracle Day. Russell T Davies has his agenda, which he will doggedly pursue to the end of days, that isn’t helping his cause, either as writer or in terms of sexual orientation, in any way whatsoever. Eighties’ Doctor Who producer John Nathan-Turner was homosexual but didn’t insist on forcing it down our throats, if you’ll pardon the expression, at every available opportunity! All RTD is doing is, metaphorically, boring the pants off everyone by carping on about it and, yes, I know the episode in question wasn’t actually written by him! And, yes, I’m fully aware the instalment was authored by a woman! Similarly, the BBC’s other preoccupation, concerning affairs of the human heart, is about to be foisted upon us, yet again, in a dramatisation of the recent Royal Wedding. Ex-Spooks actor, and one of the many stars of the superlative BBC adaptation of Dickens’ Little Dorrit, Matthew Macfadyen will play heir to the throne HRH Prince William. Ex-EastEnder, though still a Bionic Woman in my eyes, Michelle Ryan will slip into the shoes, if not the smaller brassiere, of Kate Middleton while Rowan Atkinson, assuming he has made a full recovery from his recent motoring accident, will once again attend the Royal Court… this time as best man Prince Harry!!

Alright! It’s a tissue of lies. I made it all up! The BBC aren’t spending any more of the licence payers’ hard-earned reminding us how certain wealthy sectors of the population choose to overindulge. The Royal Wedding reputedly cost fifty-three million pounds which makes the five million smackers that Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone spent on his daughter Petra’s nuptials seem like chicken feed. I do think spending £4,000 per bottle of wine is obscene though. Apparently, both Fergies were there! The ex-Royal, who wasn’t invited to the Royal Wedding, and the female member of Vengaboys sound-alike pop combo The Black Eyed Peas. Stacey and the boys were paid a whopping one-and-a-half million to perform whereas Sarah was the one who could’ve probably done with the cash. Instead, she had to make do with emulating her eldest daughter’s performance at the earlier bash by turning up in another silly hat… presumably! Even the rather feisty Mels, in this week’s opening episode of Doctor Who, lied (or did she?) claiming not to “do” weddings when we all know the series, and its two spin-offs, is obsessed with them. I won’t bore you all to buggery by recounting every single occasion we’ve seen a white meringue in the last seven years. If, in the series finale, the Daleks unexpectedly trundle through the vestry door, and gatecrash The Wedding Of River Song crying ex-ter-mi-nate, then it’ll all have been worth the wait!

Telly Visions: Sophia Myles

When the BBC run a themed evening, the schedule often includes no more than two programmes related to the chosen subject! So, with this criterion in mind, Monday night is Sophia Myles night!! First of all, you can see her on BBC Three at 7:45pm, straight after “Merlin”, in yet another repeat showing of an early David Tennant episode of “Doctor Who”, “The Girl in the Fireplace”. The story, as you probably all know, is written by Steven Moffat, currently trying to sell the next season of “Doctor Who” to fans in two halves of seven episodes from Easter with the remaining six to air in the Autumn, and stars Sophia, rather elegantly, in the title role of Madame De Pompadour. I think she fits neatly into the Kate Winslet mould of actresses, which isn’t intended as a criticism but a compliment. There probably isn’t a better example to showcase what she does best, than this episode, although I do think the story itself is a little overrated. Maybe her role as Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward, in Jonathan Frakes’s awful live-action version of Gerry Anderson’s “Thunderbirds”, is another fine example of Ms Myles playing posh totty!

We’ve seen Sophia on our screens all too occasionally over recent years. She was in a reasonably memorable version of “Dracula”, broadcast later in the same year as her “Doctor Who” episode during the Christmas season of 2006. Marc Warren played the Count with Sophia Myles one of his conquests, Lucy. Her innocent friend, Mina, was portrayed by Stephanie Leonidas. Timothy Spall’s son, Rafe, brought solicitor Jonathan Harker to life, so to speak! He travels to Transylvania to sell Dracula a London property but never returns hence the arrival of “Poirot” actor David Suchet as archrival Abraham Van Helsing. This one-off special possibly helped secure Sophia a leading role in the short-lived Stateside vampire-show “Moonlight”. At least it ran for a full season! Michelle Ryan wasn’t as lucky with “Bionic Woman” while Tennant’s legal eagle comedy didn’t progress beyond pilot stage. Anyway, the lovely lady in question has returned to Blighty and can be seen afresh as agent Beth, alongside Peter Firth as Section D boss Harry Pearce, avenging the death of Ros Myers, together with Richard Armitage as Lucas, in the opening episode of Series Nine of “Spooks”, on BBC One at 9pm, the second of her two appearances this coming Monday evening.

Telly Visions Special: Michelle Ryan

This is an extra post for fans of Michelle Ryan mainly to let you know she will be appearing on BBC Two this Sunday morning, at 10am, as a guest on “Something for the Weekend”. Not quite sure what she’s there to promote but I’ve heard she may be returning to “EastEnders”. You’ll probably have to put up with Tim Lovejoy’s endless waffle on football but you can always leave the programme on in the background until the lovely Michelle’s appearance!

You’ve probably realised by now - my new blog-header kinda gives it away - that I enjoyed last year’s “Doctor Who” Easter Special, “Planet of the Dead”. I expected to enjoy November’s “The Waters of Mars” more, being horror based and directed by Graeme Harper, but preferred the rapport between the two leads on the red bus to the comedy robot on the red planet! Due to the prominence of said bus, “Planet of the Dead” reminded me of the Sylvester McCoy adventure “Delta and the Bannermen”, for which I’ve always held a soft spot. Both stories are great fun. However, I suspect Michelle’s episode was probably more influenced by “The Mummy Returns”. I thought David Tennant and Michelle Ryan worked extraordinarily well together and, like the relationship between Peter Davison’s Fifth Doctor and Nicola Bryant’s Peri in “The Caves of Androzani”, they left me wanting more…

Michelle is building quite a reputation for herself in the fantasy genre altogether. What with a returning role, playing a villainess, in the first series of “Merlin”, an aborted attempt, after eight episodes, to revive the “Bionic Woman”, and as one of the protagonists in Steven Moffat’s “Jekyll” it would be good to see her continue in this vein rather than return to soap land. It may be a question of needs must but that would be a shame for this fine actress. Her turn in corset drama “Mansfield Park”, alongside Billie Piper, is also worth a mention. Support Miss Ryan on Sunday!

Down and Out in Beverly Hills

I’ve just heard that the remake of “Bionic Woman”, starring British actress Michelle Ryan as Jaime Sommers, has been cancelled after only eight episodes. This is due, partly, to the ongoing US writers’ strike, now two months old, but mostly because, after the pilot episode aired in the States, there was a sharp fall in ratings. Viewers claimed the series was too dark in tone which, personally, I find preferable to a lot of high camp. We’ll have the chance to make up our own minds when the series airs in Britain, in the New Year, on ITV2. You have to wonder what effect this will have on the lead’s future career? I believe NBC signed Michelle up for seven years and the series didn’t even complete a, full, single season! Presumably, that’s a lot of income lost to her which could’ve set the lady up for life, in much the same way that Patrick Stewart is now able to pick and choose the projects he wants to work on because of the money he earned working on “Star Trek: The Next Generation” for seven seasons.

Miss Ryan is likely to receive compensation for early lay-off but it isn’t going to be anywhere in the region of what she would have accumulated had the “Bionic Woman” series been successful. Then, of course, there’s the question of accommodation in LA. I hope she didn’t purchase a property, based on future expectation, but rented instead! I never saw her in “EastEnders”, not being a watcher of soaps, but her performance alongside James Nesbitt in “Jekyll” was accomplished. I vaguely recall something about her auditioning for a companion role in “Doctor Who” which she obviously didn’t get, more’s the pity! I wonder whether Michelle will stay in America, as it’s unlikely a similar break will be offered to her again, not through any fault of her own, or return to the UK where, for the most part, let’s be honest, the work available is far more diverse. I wish her well for the future…

Hyde Who?

So, if Steven Moffat replaces Russell T Davies as Executive Producer of “Doctor Who”, after season four next year, it looks as though “Jekyll” and “Cold Feet” actor James Nesbitt will succeed David Tennant in the title role of the long-running science fiction series and become the eleventh actor to play the Doctor! I’m not really sure what I think about this. The idea doesn’t repulse me in the same way that the prospect of Catherine Tate nagging for thirteen episodes does! I gradually warmed to the actor’s performance in Moffat’s take on Stevenson’s horror classic and have previously enjoyed him getting to grips with a certain Billie Piper in “The Miller’s Tale” episode of “The Canterbury Tales”!! The possible casting of Mr Nesbitt does still seem a far cry, though, from the way I perceive “Doctor Who”. Sadly, the show isn’t meant for thoughtful and analytical types, anymore, but for those who prefer their entertainment wacky and zany in a manner far-removed from Tom Baker’s supposed eccentricities. New “Doctor Who” is for those who favour munching on a Big Mac to savouring a well-cooked meal. I wonder if Tate, and the returning Noel Clarke, will be gone by the time of Jimmy’s arrival and, if so, will he be “Coupling” with “Blackeyes” in the TARDIS or pulling (a pint with) the “Bionic Woman” in the old Queen Vic?!!