Warden’s Watch: Bonekickers & Spooks: Code 9

The BBC doesn’t seem to be having much luck with some of its latest fantasy-drama output! I watched the first episode of “Bonekickers”, “Army of God”, on BBC One, and decided that, amongst its many faults, the series’ title is four letters too long!! I didn’t watch any more, not feeling the need to dig deeper into this illogical archaeological nonsense. I tuned in, in the first place, because “Bonekickers” is written and produced by the same team who brought us “Life on Mars”, and that series’ excellent sequel “Ashes to Ashes”. And, because Martha’s sister, from “Doctor Who”, is in it! I can only presume “Bonekickers” is an attempt to replicate “The Da Vinci Code” for television with a touch of “Indiana Jones” thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, it appeared ludicrous and, with the inclusion of a gratuitous decapitation of a Muslim, at the hands of ex-“EastEnders” actor Paul Nicholls, over the top… I believe a second series has already been commissioned!

Hot on the heels of the BBC One disaster, and switching to BBC Three, follows “Spooks: Code 9” which I haven’t really warmed to either, although, in this case, I have stayed with the series so far. That’s probably, solely, because Georgia Moffett plays one of the MI5 operatives! I am a fan of parent series “Spooks” and especially enjoyed its Fourth Season, when the show seemed to start all over again with renewed grit and determination. The spin-off killed one of its main characters in the opening episode, obviously inspired by the notorious demise of Lisa Faulkner’s character, Helen Flynn, in the second episode of the original. “Torchwood” had already copied “Spooks”, in killing off Susie, in its debut story so, by now, it’s all getting to be rather old hat. The remaining cast of hip young things with poor diction, in “Spooks: Code 9”, includes (from left to right) Andrew Knott as Rob, Georgia Moffett as Kylie, Heshima Thompson as Jez, Liam Boyle as Charlie, Ruta Gedmintas as Rachel and Chris Simpson as Vik… Only two more episodes to go, thank goodness!

Turn Back Time

The latest episode of “Doctor Who”, “The Lazarus Experiment”, seemed to take its ideas from just about every horror film ever made so, not surprisingly, failed to come up with anything new! Everybody was dressed very smartly, no doubt reusing the tuxedos from last year’s “Rise of the Cybermen” as well as the Sycorax’s big red button from “The Christmas Invasion”, but it couldn’t disguise the derivative nature of the story. David Cronenberg’s remake of “The Fly” starring Jeff Goldblum; “The Quatermass Experiment”; one of the films chosen in my previous post, “Lifeforce”; the conclusion of Tim Burton’s take on “Batman” which itself referenced Charles Laughton in “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”; these were just a few of the sources from which “The Lazarus Experiment” borrowed. It even plagiarised “Doctor Who” itself for its resolution! As recently as “The Runaway Bride”, in fact, amplified sound has been used to defeat an enemy. But before overcoming Santas last Christmas, the Doctor, in his second incarnation, defeated seaweed creatures through amplifying companion Victoria’s scream in “Fury from the Deep”!

“Fury from the Deep” happens to be my all-time favourite “Doctor Who” story but it has a lot to answer for! It was the tale which introduced the sonic screwdriver but in Victor Pemberton’s story was actually used to sonically undo the screws of a gas pipeline, believe it or not, and wasn’t the multi-multi-purpose gadget it has become in new “Who”. I’ve never been keen on K-9’s use as a cure-all in the latter Tom Baker seasons but I don’t recall the computer dog ever being as overused as the sonic screwdriver is now. I recommend rewatching “Gridlock” in order to count the number of times the Doctor gets it out and puts it away when moving between vehicles! Then there’s the psychic paper, used again last week in “Evolution of the Daleks”, which is another gimmick too far. Ever heard of getting into a building using a fake pass, a much more plausible method of achieving the same result in a story? But, when the Doctor whipped out his sonic thingy in the confined space of the Professor’s machine, this week, and Martha asked him what he was going to do with it, I was ready with a few suggestions!

I believe Russell achieved another first with “Lazarus”, too, but I may be wrong. Has the Doctor ever had sisters as companions for a story before, I wonder? He could go one further and try twins next! How about the Cheeky Girls? They have experience, so to speak, in the pop world to commend them, just like our very own Lil Bill, so they must be good!! Anyway, it was strange how, in “Smith and Jones”, Tish didn’t even mention her new job to Martha and yet they are supposed to be really close! And, also in the girls’ debut story, how did Tish manage to get so much time off work to go visit her sister at the hospital, then spend the evening celebrating brother Leo’s birthday, when just twelve hours later, as specifically mentioned in the current story, she is supposed to be organising Richard Lazarus’s demonstration!!! Can’t they even get continuity right within a single season? And, finally, to add insult to injury, the possibility of the Doctor one day meeting Beethoven was discarded with a cheap throwaway line when there is a really good story waiting to be written about the pair of them!