Nicola Boldly Goes!

So, what’s Peri up to these days? Or, more to the point, where can you see actress Nicola Bryant on the TV at the moment? If you don’t know who I’m talking about, Nicola is the lady pictured on the left, with her most famous creation directly above (obviously, unless Miss Bryant has taken to pointing guns at people!). She’s the girl in my avatar. I was going to say bed but that’s wishful thinking and you wouldn’t have believed me if I had! If you scroll down the page or click on the relevant label, she can also be seen receiving bat’s milk from Peter Davison in my earlier post “All Change”! Yup, same lady and one of my all-time favourite “Doctor Who” companions. Doubters will tell you she whined all the time, especially when teamed up with Colin Baker. Sceptics will tell you I adored Nicola as Peri, in the mid-Eighties, simply because she had big tits and wore a bikini all the time. She didn’t wear a bikini all the time, unfortunately! I only wish she had, so I can’t argue with the sceptics! Occasionally, she could be found in shorts but in one of her best stories, “Revelation of the Daleks”, Peri is completely covered at all times… sounds positively feudal! Today, she can be seen in the “Bold 2in1 Teenager’s Bedroom” commercial. It’s good to see she’s in work but the less said about that the better. And, what of the future? Well, if you’re going to bring back so many bloody companions, Rusty, at least include one that I like… Nicola can sniff my towels anytime!!

Gone to Pop!

BBC Four have spent, virtually, the entire month of January trying to decide which was the best decade for pop music, beginning with the Fifties and ending with the Nineties. In the end, the choice came down to the one in which you were a teenager! I was a teenager in the Seventies and, surprise, surprise, the Seventies won. Looking at it in a more detached way, although my favourite decade of pop is the Seventies, I believe the Sixties was actually the most creative… if only because of The Beatles. I don’t mention them in the gooey-eyed nostalgic sense but when you listen to the records themselves, while they do contain terrific melodies and harmonies, they are simultaneously very experimental. And, it’s not just their later songs but also those released at the very beginning of their career. The Beatles were adventurous right from the off. Many people tend to choose “Sgt. Pepper”, from 1967, as the definitive album by the Fab Four but my preference is for the release that followed later the same year, namely “Magical Mystery Tour”. Certainly, many people cite the double A-sided single “Strawberry Fields Forever” and “Penny Lane” as the best seven inch of the Sixties and both tracks appear on the album. Also included is the seminal anthem “All You Need is Love”. But, for me, the two songs that mark the record apart are Paul McCartney’s “The Fool on the Hill”, with its deliberately out of tune recorders, and especially John Lennon’s richly orchestrated “I am the Walrus”. How bizarre is the end of this song? Ringo chants “Oompa, oompa, stick it up your joompa” while a transistor radio is tuned and retuned over the strident strings. It sounds haphazard but, whether by luck or design, the song works. Chance played an important part in classical music of the time so, with producer George Martin’s guidance, this may be an influential factor worth taking into consideration.

So, in the face of The Beatles, why did the Seventies triumph? Put succinctly, Glam Rock and Punk! It was a decade of two halves. As The Beatles went their separate ways, Marc Bolan took centre stage with his glam band T-Rex and a succession of number one hit singles. He laid the foundations for David Bowie and Bryan Ferry to develop the genre further. These days Ferry is mistaken for a crooner but, like Lennon before him, he was an experimentalist. England had heard nothing like the sonorities to be found on Roxy Music’s debut single “Virginia Plain”. It certainly changed my life in 1972. I ended up composing and studying modern classical music at university for seven years because of it! Early Bowie seemed space obsessed and in the same year as the aforementioned Roxy record he penned and sang backing vocals on my all-time favourite single, “All the Young Dudes” by Mott the Hoople. In the latter half of the decade, the very foundations of society trembled as Johnny Rotten spat out his rebellious lyrics with such vehemence and raw energy that no one could escape the onslaught. The Sex Pistols were over almost as quickly as they began with one proper album to their name lasting not much over thirty minutes in duration! But what an album with no less than four blinding singles. My preference, at the time, was for The Stranglers but there can be no denying the lasting influence, on the world of rock ‘n’ roll, of “Never Mind the Bollocks”! It’s not the easiest thing, to condense two decades of pop music into two paragraphs. I could’ve chosen different music entirely and talked about the impact of “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” by The Rolling Stones or “Lola” by The Kinks. I might’ve discussed “Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me)” by the underrated Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel or any number of bitter-sweet love songs by The Buzzcocks, such was the diversity of these two decades!

All Change

Doctor Who Classics: The Doctor Regenerates

Add to My Profile | More Videos

This is a favourite moment of mine from classic “Doctor Who”. It’s not particularly representative of the rest of the serial from which it’s taken, which, it should go without saying, is staggeringly brilliant from beginning to end; even without the addition of this superlative coda. These few minutes were simply the mud-encrusted icing on the richly-refined cake…

Good Sense Prevails!

“Colonel Brandon is an exceptional man, I think. What sadness he has known. He kept faithful to his first love even after she had been torn away from him, even after she was dead. He is the true romantic, I think. It is not what we say or feel that makes us what we are, it is what we do… or fail to do.” So speaks a wiser Marianne to her sister Elinor, near the story’s completion, having learnt some of life’s lessons the hard way, resulting in a near-fatal illness. Andrew Davies’ three-part adaptation of Jane Austen’s “Sense and Sensibility” was exceptional; well acted, well directed, fast moving - much more so than his most famous six-part adaptation of “Pride and Prejudice” - and completely compelling, emotionally. For me, David Morrissey gave the standout performance as the highly moral Colonel Brandon. He showed that a man does not have to lie in another person’s lap in order to prove himself passionate, quite the contrary. While Willoughby played with the affections of numerous young women, regardless of consequence, Brandon’s steadfastness won through making him all the more desirable. Marianne’s initial objection to the Colonel, their age difference, is irrelevant in the end. You cannot choose with whom you fall in love and it is surprising, perhaps, that Brandon didn’t fall for the more sensible, though none-less-passionate, Elinor but, true to life, the narrative isn’t so predictable. Would all men were wholly like Colonel Brandon but I suspect most contain some of his good nature together with a little of Willoughby’s deceitfulness… sadly.

“Sense and Sensibility” is the latest in a recent spate of television adaptations of classic novels, all of which have proved excellent. Despite it being seemingly about manners, it has more of the wildness of Emily Brontë’s “Wuthering Heights” about it than does the earlier “Pride and Prejudice”. When “Sense and Sensibility” began on New Year’s Day, despite the controversial opening, I thought it was going to err on the side of conservatism and, indeed, it wasn’t as radical an adaptation as the preceding five-part presentation of “Oliver Twist” which ran nightly on BBC One in the run up to Christmas. Timothy Spall transformed the character of Fagin, from what we’ve come to expect, and made it refreshingly his own. Before this, there was the female equivalent of “Pickwick Papers” in the five-hour dramatisation of three novels by Elizabeth Gaskell resulting in “Cranford”, another serial with a strong moral backbone. ITV responded to the BBC’s offerings with a new version of E. M. Forster’s “A Room with a View”, starring the gorgeous Elaine Cassidy, and, on Boxing Day, with another Dickens, “The Old Curiosity Shop”, featuring Derek Jacobi in the role of Little Nell’s gambling-addicted Grandfather. There are more costume dramas in production, to be shown at the end of the year. The BBC have yet to cast their four-part adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s “Tess of the d’Urbervilles” but I can’t wait! It is one of my favourite novels, if not my favourite. I only hope four episodes is long enough to do it justice. ITV will counteract with another version of the aforementioned “Wuthering Heights”. I hope they are both as good as the current crop of dramatisations and, in particular, as strong in every area as “Sense and Sensibility”.

Breakdancing!

Now all these Girls Aloud girlies have to do is learn to play their allotted instruments! That or join the crew of the TARDIS!! After all, every other bugger is on board for the New Season so why not a few more!!! They’re young, they’re female, they’re pop stars… My God, imagine the laundry room. I’m sure Russell is contemplating it even as I type.

All five girls have had a bit of acting experience (putting them on a par with Kylie), most recently in the new “St. Trinian’s” remake in which they appear in, yes, you’ve guessed it, school uniform. I guess that makes them marginally more interesting to peer at than Billie in her dungarees! Perhaps they could play a group of space vixens out to supplant the regular TARDIS groupies and add a bit more Spice to the proceedings… Oh, hang on, that’s the wrong lot! The Spice Girls would probably be a bit too much even for our Davy-boy!

So, how long will it be before these lewd girls are starring in “Doctor Who”? Will (from left to right) drummer Cheryl Cole (née Tweedy), jumping Kimberley Walsh on guitar, smashing Sarah Harding on tit-flashing duty, bummer Nadine Coyle on vocals and squatting bassist Nicola Roberts administer “No Ood Advice” to the Doctor or merely terrorise the time traveller’s Executive Producer with their inadequate grammar?!!

“Doctor Who” is Pants!

I was going to write an article berating the near-obsession with women’s underwear in Russell T. Davies’ version of “Doctor Who”. Having caught a recent rerun of the Series Three episode “The Lazarus Experiment”, I noticed the Doctor seemed particularly interested in a pair of Martha’s knickers! Much to her embarrassment, he actually picks them off the clothes line where they are drying and waves them at her; although her response is more one of mock indignation. This viewer was left with the distinct feeling that Martha is actually pleased the Doctor is finally showing an interest. Then I remembered the incident with Rose’s Mum Jackie, in “Love & Monsters”, in which she flashes her undies at poor old Marc Warren in the Laundromat and I began to get a little hot under the collar!! No, not for the reasons you’re thinking, dear reader! This scene was actually picked out of “Love & Monsters” and used as part of the Next Time trailer at the end of the preceding episode, “The Satan Pit”, in which we’d only just been treated to a glimpse of Rose’s thong, protruding from the back of her jeans, as she hugs the Doctor on her return to the TARDIS at the end of the story. I began to think that Russell is showing an awfully keen interest in the undergarments of his leading ladies, especially for someone who’s gay!!!

I decided to examine this pressing issue, of panties in our favourite science fiction series, just a little further! I thought back to the classic series and naturally remembered an incident involving the lovely Katy Manning! Who could forget her frilly red knickers as she climbs up a ladder out of a tunnel, in “The Day of the Daleks”, hotly pursued by Jon Pertwee gazing upwards as he makes his ascent!! I thought back even further and remembered Maureen O’Brien giving us a quick flash as she is menaced by Koquillion in the two-part adventure “The Rescue”. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you the colour of her panties as this serial was made in black and white! Fast forward two decades and Sarah Sutton gives us more than just a brief glimpse as she strips down to her undies for her swansong tale “Terminus”. A memorable farewell to all her adoring fans. And, no doubt she acquired many more following such a finale! Given the present penchant for female pop singers in science fiction, what with Billie and Kylie in “Doctor Who”, and “Primeval” actress Hannah Spearritt persistently battling dinosaurs in a vast array of not-so-baggy bloomers, what next? Given the soundtrack of the Christopher Eccleston episode “The End of the World”, it seems possible that Russell might want to cast Britney Spears as a future companion. There’s just one problem… As everyone knows, from all the lucrative paparazzi up-skirt shots of Britney’s vagina, Miss Spears doesn’t do pants!

All Our Yesterdays

For fantasy fans, BBC FOUR has been the channel to watch over the first couple of nights or so of the New Year. On January 2, the TV station hosted a “Thunderbirds Are Go!” night devoted to the work of Gerry Anderson. The most interesting part of the evening (for me) was, of course, the documentary “All About Thunderbirds” which charted the evolution of Supermarionation from “Supercar” through to the demise of “Space: 1999”. They didn’t touch on the earlier series, “The Adventures of Twizzle”, Series One of “Torchy, the Battery Boy” and western “Four Feather Falls” or the later ones such as “Terrahawks”, “Dick Spanner P.I.”, “Space Precinct”, “Lavender Castle” and, most recently, the revamped computer-generated “Gerry Anderson’s New Captain Scarlet”. The programme focused mainly on “Thunderbirds”, discussing the commercial failure of the first feature, “Thunderbirds Are Go!”, whilst surprisingly ignoring its sequel, “Thunderbird 6”, and the live-action production “Doppelgänger”, aka “Journey to the Far Side of the Sun”. It was good to see the pilot episode of the original “Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons” again, though the “new” episode of “Stingray”, “The Reunion Party”, proved to be a disappointment being merely a compilation episode with some, hitherto unseen, brief links.

The following evening, January 3, viewers were treated to Irwin Allen night. He’s probably best remembered today for blockbuster disaster adventures “The Poseidon Adventure” and “The Towering Inferno” but, in the Sixties, produced four American Television cult favourites beginning with “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” in 1964, following the successful feature of the same name filmed three years earlier. Next up was perhaps the most popular of the quartet, “Lost in Space”, initially made in black and white while successive seasons were filmed in colour. A year later came “The Time Tunnel”, the opening episode of which began the evening. “Rendezvous with Yesterday” is set on the Titanic and includes Michael Rennie and Susan Hampshire among its guest cast. Mix this with “The Poseidon Adventure” and you probably end up with something closely approximating the “Doctor Who” Christmas Special, “Voyage of the Damned”! Concluding the foursome was my personal favourite “Land of the Giants”. I suspect my fondness for this series has something to do with the fact that “Planet of Giants” is one of my earliest memories of “Doctor Who” and the outsized sets of Allen’s series, together with camera angles denoting view points, remind one of this particular BBC serial! Irwin’s story itself was well told, save for the cheesy links from “Lost in Space” stars June Lockhart and Bill Mumy, through the 1995 hour-and-a-half biography “The Fantasy Worlds of Irwin Allen” which provided the centrepiece of the evening. All in all, a fun couple of nights’ viewing!